---
Ode to the Ex
-----

you had the corniest pick-up line ever
but yet
i succumbed to it
if only because
i saw your Rolex .
only to discover
it was a cheap imitation
a few months later.

your conviction
was never apparent.

for all the times when you mocked
with evident disdain
at the growing folds of my stomach
and the decreasing elasticity
of my arms
And my losing battle with gravity and cellulite.

i don't mean to taunt
but
i've always bemused
about the loss
of your left testicle.
not that the lone ranger was
particularly conspicuous either.

even the cauliflower-like growth
on the rim
of your ass
is bigger.

why is it that
you never can last
for more than
a fleeting moment ?
am i that good
or is it just you ?

your size
pales in comparision
to a baby gherkin.
i was just too nice
to complain.
at least
while others made
a grand entrance
yours barely
made an impression.

your mediocre antics
puts the karma-sutra to shame.
mere fodder
for my amusement.

my paycheck
twice of yours.
do you really not care
because your inferiority acts up
when you refuse
to let me go on top
egoistic bastard.

hell hath no fury
like a woman scorned.
believe it when i say
this shit's gonna circulate around
like a case of
bad karma.

i'll never miss you.
in case you were wondering

and yes

i was faking it all the while.

Even if i came
its only because
i was fantasising
about your best friend
he does it much better
than you.




** purely fictional . no reference to anyone :P **