orgasmic hamsters

orgasmic hamsters

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday, October 30, 2004

-----
Who assasinated John F kennedy ?
---

I've been really into his assasination of late.. really interesting plus the exodus of photographs as evidence is quite spine-chilling since almost all the photographs documented has someone sinister lurking in them.

Harvey Lee Oswald ? Probably not.

http://www.jfk-assassination.com/

 

Thursday, October 28, 2004

---
The men don't get it
------

More often than not , they're just clueless and confused little things with always the same question hanging on their lips

"Why do the good guys always finish last ?"

Well let me tell you why good guys always finish last !

1) You're just somebody with a larger than life ego who feels that you're just tooooo nice to girls and thats why you don't get any chicks. Wake up , dude. Stop wading in self-denial. You're not too nice ; you're just someone who gets on the nerves of others with your egomaniacal and chauvinist behaviour and you're just using the nice guy moniker as a self-consolation. As the saying goes "Ignorance is bliss" and usually you're the last person to know that you suffer from a bad case of halitosis ( which by then , its already too late. the irreverisible damage has been done and the trail of destruction you have left is devastating ) . Wake up and smell the shit , l-o-s-e-r.


2) You're the epitome of goodness . You have the benevolence of Mother Theresa and you walk around with a halo illuminating your head. In other words , you're a wimp. And nobody , and i do mean nobody , likes a wimp for a boyfriend. A light prod would send you flying. You would probably kneel down and lie down in a foetal position in a corner should you see your girlfriend getting groped by some random burly mafia-lookalike.

Sugar and spice and all things nice makes Jack an unpopular boy.

3) You're really a nice guy but you use your nice-ness for all the wrong reasons. You pick chicks up at clubs and bowl them over with your smooth talk , thereafter you get to lay them and you disappear without a trace the morning after. That is your modus operandi. You're a closet casanova and its a pity that girls get the wool pulled over their eyes because they simply swoon when you pull the chairs and open doors for them. You know damn well you get their hearts fluttering with your ego-stroking compliments and impress with pick-up lines that are neither cliched nor corny.

Rasputin-wannabes must be exterminated before the entire female population falls prey to your gallivanting mannerisms and before the island gets littered with your spawn.

4) You're so nice that you piss girls to no end because there is a fine line between "nice" and "irksome" and unfortunately you tend to fall over to the negative side because of your over-enthusiasm . You have no motives when you offer to do everything for the girl and yes , the initial reactions would be that of gratefulness and all the pleasant stuff but it gets grating after a while when you start getting really fervent and you call her every few minutes to ask about her wherabouts or you plant yourself at her place so that you can take care of her every fleeting second. Very fanatic behaviour.

Too much of something is bad enough.

5) You're the perfect-to-a-fault nice guy . You're so perfect that everybody wants to be your wife and be the mother of your children. But thats not to your advantage. Why ? Because of the fact that everybody worships you , potential partners shun you because you would appear as someone who is hard to get due to your popularity. Time to put on the leather jacket and whip some ass ,baby. Do not , however , trade any of your nice-guy traits for any of the abovementioned scum-of-the-society character. I will despise you.
----

So , are YOU a good guy ?



 

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

------
Love thy neighbour
---

That i will.

Because i know too damn much about my neighbour(s).

Uh-uh. Way too much.

Let me first address the topic of HDB bathrooms.

They're so amazingly resonant , they put hearing aids to shame.

Every nano-sound reveberates around the bathroom , no single detail is spared if you happen to be in the adjacent bathroom ( which happens to be my bathroom since flats are built like...... you know lah. )

Hell , i can even tell when the neighbour's pausing to soap him/herself because the sound of running water stops for a minute or so and continues again.

And now to the list of stuff ( from conversations to yelling matches ) i've managed to accidently eavesdrop upon is.....

People making out.

YES INDEED !

I don't know if it came from the neighbours above or below my unit but it sure sounded , urm , loud.

There was no mistaking the urm , sound effects produced by a copulating couple in the throes of passion.

I didn't really hear it because brushing my teeth mutes the surroundings until i paused to gargle.

That was when i thought i heard someone urm , moaning.

At first i thought it was a child crying in pain since i have rather sadistic neighbours who often whacked their kids .

Until it got louder.

I really wonder what is going on in their minds. The bathroom is definitely not somewhere i would want to get down and dirty at.

-shudders-

------
Its my BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
---

I'm gonna be 18 on friday !!!!!!!!

C'mon ! Wish me a happy birthday !

Birthday presents ?

How about...

1) a two way air ticket to the himalayan region ?

2) a date with Jay chou ?

3) a Boyfriend ?

Preferably a cute one . Hahahha.

Awwwwwright. A bouquet of white lilies would do.

Or a bunch of carrots wrapped up nicely.

Or broccoli.

Hey ! I LIKE BROCCOLI . I like Asparagus too.

I like my vegetables.

Okay i digress.

 

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

----
food for thought
-----

John Kerry or George Bush ?


 

Thursday, October 21, 2004

-----
food for thought
---

If the human species evolved from apes , there's no knowing how much we would change a couple of million years later.

 

--
Murphy's law make an unwanted return
------

Alright. Just a recap for all ye who are new to my blog.

Murphy's law : When something can go wrong , it WILL go wrong.

Right.

I had a really really really really bad day yesterday.

I overslept ( as usual ) and i woke up with a really bad case of the flu .

I had a bad hair day , bad make-up day and get this ! Bad clothes day.

How does one get a bad clothes day , you ask.

Well this is entirely my own fault , because i couldnt be bothered to pick out my clothes and wore whatever that came into my view.

I wore a one-sized-too-big adidas tee and a taffled mini skirt with a stud belt.

TOTALLY WRONG.

It looked okay but the clothes did not go well on my body. Because the skirt did not have any belt loops , the belt kept riding up and i had to constantly tug at it to make it stay put.

Having worn too many fitting tops the t-shirt i was wearing made me feel very very unattractive and frumpy.

It didnt help that my bag weighed a tonne either!

For the entire lesson i was feeling really moody and the huge ulcer i have near my molars made me very reluctant to talk.

Argh.

I thought that my bout of moodiness ( malaise by evening because i was starving ) would end once i reach my grandparents' place. Wrong-O !

My grandmother gave me a long lecture because she heard it through the grapevine that i have been spending waaaaaay too much money.

I admit i did something really nasty to her. I actually stared at her and i felt so pissed and frustrated that i contemplated flipping over my plate and soup bowl over and then scream at her. I can't believe that i actually harboured such evil notions.

At my grandmother , my beloved grandmother.

What does that make of me ? I am such a fucker.

Needless to say i left in a huff and i turned a deaf ear to every word she said and i didnt even bother to tell her that i was leaving.

I decided to make a trip to the bookshop since buying stationary always puts me in a better mood. don't ask me why. my form of retail theraphy i suppose.

As you can see in the picture below , there are three red circles. Each circle is a bus stop , with a distance of approx. 300m from each other.


I was supposed to alight at the first stop as bookstore A is located within walking distance.

But i did not. Instead i opted to alight at the second stop asbookstore B is supposedly bigger than bookshop A .

So i walked towards bookshop B . And gues what.

BOOKSHOP B was undergoing RENOVATION.

Oh , sweet lord!

I was cold , drenched , uncomfortable in my clothes , almost collapsing under the sheer weight of my supersized textbook and my ulcer hurt.

Buying new pens and pencils would have alleviated my grumpiness alot more.

By then i had an urgent need to visit the toilet.

My shit was already reaching its exit , to put it crudely.

Did i mention about my hostility against public toilets ?

So i had to hail a bloody cab home so that i could empty my bowels in the clean confinements of my home.

AND TO TOP IT THE SONG THAT WAS ON THE RADIO WHEN I HOPPED INTO THE CAB WAS WAYNE WONDER'S 'HOLD ME' . THE NUMBER ONE IRRITATING SONG THAT SHOULD BE BANNED FROM RECEIVING AIRPLAY BECAUSE IT IS SO DAMN IRRITATING.

There goes $3 . I could have bought 2 new pens that would have made me happy.

But instead i wasted it on cab fare when there was a much cheaper alternative which was to walk home.

But i couldnt , could i ?

WHAT THE FUCK.

Can somebody please pity me.






 

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

----
A bad case of funky breath
---

I was alerted to the sight of a delicious looking guy who just boarded the bus and i was rather delirious when he decided to sit in front of me.

I noticed that his hair looked really soft and i almost wanted to reach out to touch it when something pungent filled the air and i was really repulsed because it smelled really sourish .

I attributed it to the surroundings as the bus just went past a canal.

I thought otherwise when 5 mins later ( and good distance from the canal ) i scowled at the smell again.

There was nobody near me except......... Could it be ........ ?

I stared hard at him. He yawned.

The smell almost drowned me.

Goodness , it smelled like sulphur.

Then it dawned onto me that if i could smell his funky breath from where i was sitting , then it must be a torture to talk to him.

You know , i can never tolerate bad breath.

WHy?

Because everyone has a resposnsibility to keep their breath fresh.

Like regularly brushing teeth .

And not to forget the daily ritual of cleansing the tongue. It really really works wonder okay.

And breath mints.

Hunk ? So what. Your breath stinks.

-----
Sweeeeeeeeeet.
----



I don't understand whats going over me recently. I've been going ga-ga over such mini skirts from Abercrombie and Fitch / Hollister. They look totally gorgeous with a white spaghetti top and a simple pair of havainas. Damn. My poor wallet.

-




 

Monday, October 18, 2004

-----
Affected.
---

Lots of stuff got me thinking recently and its affectin me real bad .

My seemingly perfect life suddenly took a wrong turn.

I wished i could just shrug the opinions of others off like some ( my respect if you're one of 'em )

But instead i let it all go to my head.

For the past few days i've heard some very unpleasant stuff about myself.

Like.. being a flirt .. being selective about the friends i make ( in other words : arrogant ).. ignoring my friends etc.

I don't why i want to clarify it since i haven't done anything bloody wrong but i really really really want to make myself heard.

1) Being a flirt : Number one , the fact remains. I am very single. I'm sick of being single.

Just when i thought i could finally settle down , the other party pulled a fast one on me and went back into his arms of his ex without tellin me anything.

He has made no attempt to contact me , much less offer an explaination.

Fuck you , asshole. i hope you fuckin burn in hell with your blatant lies and denial.

Anyway.

As i was saying , i'm sick of being single. I go on dates with different people. I go on dates to know people.

So what ?

I'm SINGLE , for fuck's sake !

When i mean date , i mean a purely chaste one.

You know , like coffee bean , cinemas and malls ?

Nope , not beaches or parks.

No kissing , not even good night kisses. No holding hands , no touching , NIL. NONE.NADA.

You should seriously go out and get a life if you think dates evolve around sex , you perverse moron.

I am not desperate. Being sick of being alone is not desperate.

If i was , i would have gotten attached long ago and hang onto the arm of a different guy every week.

If you were attached and still went on dates , obviously its a different matter altogether.

And one more thing.

I NEVER expect a guy to pay for me unless he persistently insist .

And so i can safely say that i am not out to empty wallets.

And no , i don't just go out with anybody. Only if i feel that you're a person without a questionable character and yes , sincerity and the time we have known each other counts.

Which isn't alot . Maybe like , 4 ?

Speakin of which i have more guy pals then female ones .

Because i'm rough and not into pink.

I curse , i swear , i point middle fingers.

I watch soccer.

Hell , i even play soccer.

Okay i digress.

But at least now you know that most of the times when you see me on the streets with some guy , 90% of time , that guy is a brudder.

Like you know , he kicks and punches me like any other guy and i do the same to him.

Burping and farting together too.

==========

2 ) Being arrogant : Just one sentence for this : If i was , i wouldnt be doing the things i normally do ( like sipping coffee at a coffeeshop ). Damn , i stay at a HDB flat like any of you !

==========

3) Ignoring my friends : Too many a time my friends go "Fiona , why don't you like introducing your friends to us ?" . Well , simple. Because i don't see the need. If all my friends knew each other , then my life would be a really sad one. I need my privacy too. I can bitch about one person and never get caught because they don't know each other. Get what i mean ? You certainly can't do that if all your friends knew each other.
----------------------------

I am really pissed , upset , disappointed and all the synonyms of these words.

Because everything negative came from friends whom i thought i knew so well , and vice versa.

Not anymore.

Thanks for making me feel down .. Thanks for making me cry after so long. Thanks for making me reconsidering my character.

I know its weird to hear such emotional confessions but hey. You know i'm just being honest.







 

---
breakfast at greasy spoon's
---

Ah. The epitome of american culture ( even tho' the name seems to have originated from Britain , the description just feels so american ) , right here in my kitchen.

Definition from some website : The typical greasy spoon serves mainly fried food, for example, various combinations of fried eggs, chips, bacon, black pudding, sausages and mushrooms. These are often accompanied by baked beans and tomatoes. Other typical possibilities include bacon sandwiches (on sliced white bread), and toast. Despite the origin of the word 'café', the main drink consumed is usually tea. Often the only coffee available will be instant. Alcoholic drinks are not sold.

Speakin of black pudding , my initial reaction to it was... Something dark and sticky like treacle/molasses. But damn am i so wrong ! Black pudding is supposed to be a kind of sausage made from the blood , fats and what-have-you from animals. Not my kind of pudding , give me custard pudding anytime !

Ok i digress.

I made a huge mess in my kitchen an hour ago frying bacon and chipolata sausages and sure , it does smell good but the aroma of bacon degenerates into a rancid nose-clogging odour that hangs around your head. I made scrambled eggs too! DId i mention i make the best scrambled eggs ? Soft , fluffy and buttery.. With a generous dose of pepper.

As i was saying.. the mess in my kitchen was epic sized i tell ya. Smart ol' me used the oil excreted ( what a word!) by the bacon to fry my yummy gourmet slighty spiced chipolata sausages and i had the shock of my life when boils erupted on my sausage from which oil burst forth . The distance travelled by the oil sprays was an olympic record , man ! I guess i should thank my lucky stars that i wasnt at the receiving end of the scalding oil , eh.

I had a satisfying breakfast despite all the setbacks and it's a great feeling to devour such greasy cholesterol-laden food while sipping on fresh earl grey tea and reading the mornin papers without the need to make conversation wth anybody. I'm not being anti-social , but i have this really bad habit of reading while eating and it really bothers me when i have to talk when i am eating which is why i hate going on dinner dates. Its such a torture to have the other party look at you eat and tryin to talk with his mouth full when all i really want is a peaceful meal while tryin to absorb the controversial knowledge Dan Brown is trying to impart .

Of course i'm not against having meals with anyone. Its just my two cents worth. If you have had a meal with me before don't worry i wasn't harbouring evil intentions to murder you.



 

Friday, October 15, 2004

-----
Irrelevant post of the daY
--

You won't believe how much my boobs hurt while taking this shot. 40 kg weighing down on two globs of fats isn't exactly comfortable . Yup , this is what i call a "blog filler" , very much like what you would find at the end of articles in Reader's digest. Anecdotes , no ?



Leopard crawl , fiona style

 

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Okay my hard disk crashed so it won't be possible for a regular update until my com is up and running again ( prolly in about 2 weeks ) . But i won't completely cease updating of course.

 

Sunday, October 10, 2004

By the way , if you haven't noticed , i have just placed a shoutbox here which you can see if u scroll to your left . Why ? Because Haloscan is fucked up. Do leave your comments on my spanking new shoutbox or while Haloscan is still stable , in my comment box.

 

---
Random picture of the day
--

Okay guess what. I cut off my shoulder length tresses a couple of days ago !

They were gettin unruly and i had to do something about it.

I love my current 'do but 10 minutes is too long a time to style my hair. Hair wax ? Pile it on !





Melvin , get lost from my picture !

 

----
yr friendly neighbourhood hawker
---

well i experienced something really heartwarming just now.

Was buying teh-peng ( my current favourite drink ) from the coffeeshop downstairs when i noticed the affable auntie selling mixed rice conversing loudly with a foreign construction worker.

He was pushing a five dollar note into her hands but she was pushing it away .

"No need no need two dollars is enough ! I understand that every dollar counts for you all so its okay ! Discount for you !"

After a few seconds of bantering the guy relented and handed her a two dollar note instead.

Quite a good bargain actually , two bucks for a huge packet of rice !

You certainly won't find that elsewhere. Certainly not high-end restaurents , Macdonalds or Subway.

People can complain all they want about the cleanliness and the mediocre standards of food at coffee shops but i'm staying put.

Some people seek luxury and all their life they toil just to go home to a stone-cold villa with equally cold neighbours .

As for me , i'll remain a heartlander all my life , thank you very much.

 

Saturday, October 09, 2004

-----
Turn me on baby !
--

Well. I guess its rather taboo for a lady to talk about turn-ons but hey , who cares ?!

ANyway.

Got inspired by one of the recent posts of

Colin's blog.


I don't understand why some ( or rather , most ) girls go crazy over the sight of a cute butt.

I am unable to comprehend their fixation on butts , nor appreciate it.

Sure , i can see the appeal in seeing a perky firm ass swaying to and fro in a tight mini skirt on a girl.

But on a guy ?

Seriously , my man can have saggy butt cheeks and i won't even care.

Of course i'll draw the line at pimply blemished bums that looked like it had just survived a severe bout of genital ( or anal in this case :P ) herpes ( speakin of genital herpes , i don't know why it never fails to make me giggle madly whenever someone mentions it )

As i was saying..

Turn-ons. Yup.

I like big manly hands !! Complete with throbbing veins and hands wide enough to encapsulate my tiny ones in one swoop.

Weak looking hands are so ... uncapable.

And overnight stubble. Mmm.

Very very rugged looking . Hahahah.

The escaped convict look . I like.

Okay so not everyone looks good with nano-whiskers sproutin all over the chin area but there is one particular individual that carry the look very very well.

**drum roll******

ADAM LEVINE FROM MAROON 5 !





Okay , so he's not exactly your typical drop-dead gorgeous pin-up boy and neither is he very aesthetically pleasing.

Nope , no bod , no washboard abs. Heck , he's skinny !

But he's got It.

Watching the music videos of This love and She will be loved only serves to enforce the fact.

I noticed that enigmatic ( in other words , a constantly inebriated expression , dull sullen eyes , the i-need-my-weed-now-so-ya-better-give-it-to-me-before-i-fucking-shoot-you look ) looking guys appeal to me most.

Think Darren Hayes of Savage during his pre-solo days.

And Johhny Depp *scream!!!!*


--------

Oh , did i mention Adam Levine writes some really great lyrics too ? Check this verse of "Harder to breath" out.

What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head

You should know better you never listened to a word I said

Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat

Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did

**

Maybe you're decoding the lyrics in a different light but i find it really really kinky. I think lah.

---

P/s : Having a bad case of the runs now. Must be the bourbon coke i had yesterday. Never fails to upset my system the morning after.


 

Friday, October 08, 2004

------
Bottoms up !
--

Okay , this is what i usually get in my mailbox. Forwarded emails. Anyway i found this rather interesting .

1) A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
2) When you go to a bar you can always pick up a beer.
3) A beer won't get upset if you come home and have beer on your breath.
4) You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
5) If you pour a beer just right you'll always get good head.
6) Hangovers go away.
7) When you are finished with a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.
8) You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
9) A beer always goes down easy.
10) You can share a beer with your friends.
11) Beer is always wet.
12) You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.
13) A frigid beer, is a good beer.
14) You can have more than one beer and not feel guilty.
15) You can enjoy a beer all month long.

 

----
Irrelevant post of the day
---

Even though i am so dog tired and its an unearthly 2am now , i just had to satisfy the blogger in me because i got really intrigued/disgusted by two incidents today.

1) What actually prompted me to get off the bus hastily even though it was not my destination ?

There was this malay guy sitting in front of me .. I reckon he was in his late fifties as a good percent of his short crop was white.

So he started scratching his head. Nothing curious , you say.

NOT.

As the bus moved away from the shady spots and sunlight streamed into the bus , i could actually see clouds of white dust EMERGING from his hair.

Like a mushroom releasing its spores.

I don't know what it is that hovered around his head like a fog. Dust ? Or nano sized dandruff ?

I don't know.

And i don't want to know because there is a high possibility that i have inhaled some of the stuff and i shudder at the thought.

He started scratching more violently and the dust cloud became more dense and opaque.

I held my breath and got down the bus. I had to.

Okay now for curious incident number 2 ( speaking of curious incident... there's this book titled 'the curious incident of the dog in the night time" by Mark Haddon. A really good read , i'd say ! However i feel rather sorry for the author as his last name is rather unfortunate. I can imagine strangers going "What ?! Mark has a hard on ?!" should the rest mention his full name.Okay i'm being lame )

2) This really attractive lady sashayed across the train station in a really nice dress that accentuated her slender but voluptuous figure. As luck would have it she chose to sit beside me , making me feel really inferior and diminished since all eyes were on her. For once i really wished that i was a hot-blooded male because to have this angel sitting beside me was.. euphoric ?

And she smells really nice too. I suspect Issey Mikaye.

Anyway.

Let me tell you about a quirky habit of mine.

I have this thing for nails. Not nails as in those used for putting things together , but fingernails but you know that already right ?

Yup , nails . I don't care if you're immaculately groomed , handsome , charming and rich. What good is it if you're all of the above but you're like a neanderthal with those claw-like nails with *gasp* dirt embedded in it.

Major turnoff !

Okay i digress.

As i was saying , naturally my attention shifted to her nails.

Thankfully she had rather nice nails in a lovely shade of plum ( i love plum shades )

My gaze shifted down. I had the shock of my life.

Her toes. They.... looked like they could play the piano !

It was abnormally long and spaced out like fingers.

No amount of pedicures will ever make her feet decent looking.

She will never star in a feet fetish porn flick.


 

Thursday, October 07, 2004

------
A is for Astronomy
--

I don't know if i should boast about this , but i am sure that i am one of the very few teenagers in singapore that can identify a constellation pretty damn well in our night sky without the help of a star map. Not that there are

1) Many teenagers interested in astro
2) Many visible stars to begin with ( Our beautiful light polluted skies )

Hell , it feels funny to be calling myself a teenager. Fiona the teen ?! Wtf.

Anyway.

I get really excited by DSOs ( Deep sky objects . Generally speaking it's any object in the sky that isn't a star or in our solar system. Like nebulae , star clusters etc ) and even more so when there are really detailed images taken by earth's resident magnifying glass , Hubble.



And when i say detailed , i mean detailed. Like the picture above , believe it or not , but those funny looking colourful shapeless globs in the picture are galaxies. Nothing much , but when you consider looking at the full picture http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/ap040929.html you will know what i mean. Like thousands of galaxies in one damned picture ! Now thats something , since we all know that using far to describe the distances between galaxies would be an understatement.

Now you get an idea of how powerful the Hubble space telescope is.

----------
My manager, the moron
---

Okay , he's not THAT bad. But as i have mentioned before in one of my earlier posts , he irritates me to no end. And now i shall add embarrassement to the list.

I really really really want to bury my head under sand whenever he lapses into his neither-american-nor-british-accent-so-i-dunno-what-the-fuck accent and i am right there beside him. It makes me feel that the unfortunate customer he is speaking to assumes that i speak as badly as him . Definetely NOt.

Anyway this is what really happened last week.

**re-enactment**

Fiona : I'm sorry sir , but i'm afraid we don't accept your card here

Cute caucasian blonde : Aww geez s'awwright then i'll pay by cash ( proceeds to open his wallet )

Gopi the moronic manager **suddenly appearing out of nowhere ** : Hi sir how can i helpchu ?

Fiona **suddenly shrinking and trying her best to make Gopi scram** : Gopi , there is nothing wrong.

Gopi ** ignoring his poor harassed worker** : Sir ?

Cute blonde customer : Oh there's nothing wrong don't worry i guess they don't accept german cards here

Gopi : Don't worry sir can i take a look at your card sir ? ( Notice he has a habit of repeating the salutations twice. like "Hi madam good morning madam !" Dumb shit. )

By this time i was already shaking my leg really impatiently. WHATS HIS PROBLEM !? The customer was already almost through with his payment but yet dear old Gopi wants to intefere again. I suspect because he wants to show off his new found lingual skills, God forbid!

Cute blonde customer : actually its really fine i'm rushing for a flight so.....


Gopi : It will not be long sir ( Notice his very lousy command of the language )

Cute blonde customer : Well .... okay *Hesitantly hands him his credit card*

Gopi **Looks at his and shakes his head apologetically and launches into a indiscernible mash of words** : oh arm sho shorry shir bart we dunch accept this card here shir.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Thats what i told the customer five minutes ago !

CUte blonde customer **with a cute perplexed expression as obviously he doesn't catch what Gopi is saying** : Huh ?

Gopi *Smiles fakely* : oh arm sho shorry shir but we dunch accept this card here shir!

Cute blonde customer *grimaces* : Urm okay ( obviously he still doesnt get it . )

Just as Gopi was about to start another round of meaningless banter , i quickly popped the customer's order onto the counter

Fiona : Two regular lattes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cute blonde customer * looks relieved* : Thank you !

He hurriedly grabs his drinks and leaves after winking at me.

I really don't understand why Gopi must embarrasse himself and me like that.

 

---
Irrelevant post of the day
--

Just wondering. What song makes you groove ? Personally , i find myself swaying to and fro whenever i hear Sean Paul's 'Get Busy'. Very "Shakeable" ! Do tell me about in my newly installed shoutbox on your left ( Shameless advertising eh ? )

 

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

---
Fuck Haloscan !
--

Congratulations. Haloscan ( The comment box ) has screwed up on me ( and prolly the rest of the blogger users too ) so i have decided to implement a shoutbox feature on my blog. Would you mind scrolling ever so gently towards the left and leave a comment on it. Thank you. Cheers.

 

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

-----
Random pic of the day
--

Here's how i looked like when i was in sec 1 ( 5 years ago )

Really really bad hair that looks like ... a broom.

I was tanned and gaunt.

I spoke with exaggerated gestures .

I was....... Gross.



( Kinda blur as it was taken by Aaron's handphone )

 

Saturday, October 02, 2004

---
Confessions of a closet techno junkie
--

Recently i had high-tea ( i'm not loaded okay , so its like an annual event ) at the Ritz-carlton with Ju , Rosie and a couple of her ( Rosie's) cronies.

Apart from the lavish spread that filled me up as quickly as it emptied my wallet , i was bored to tears listening to their cronies talk while Ju desperately tried to make conversation with me above the inane topics the RGS ladies were talking about ( Like higher chinese , triple science and get this , FRENCH! )

Despite the fact that Rosie was formerly from RGS , she was never , in my eyes , a pompous person , unlike her so-called friends ( who insisted on taggin along with her without official invitation. damn ) .

So this girl , lets just call her Grass ( just some random stupid name lah. nothing to do with her whatsoever ) noticed that i was stuffing the delectable chocolate rum truffles into my mouth and she had to interrupt my bliss.

"Hey.. Urm. Fiona ?"

I answered her with half-mashed truffles in my mouth. I couldn't be bothered with etiquette.

"What?"

"So , what kind of music do you listen to ?"

WHAT THE HELL!? She stopped me from my chocolate rum truffles just to ask me such a stupid question ???? Obviously she was just trying to be friendly but c'mon. Not when i'm eating right. But i betrayed my conscience and smiled weakly

"Eh.. I don't know. Maybe R&B and alternative ?"

She nodded thoughtfully and i thought i could carry on with my greediness but hell no.

"I like r&b too but i'm not too sure about the alternative part. i'm more into jazz and techno...."

I looked up at her in awe. Techno ?! I grinned at her. Maybe we do have something in common after all , despite the very different upbringing

"Hey ! I like techno too ! I'm so into Groove coverage , man !"

Her upper lip immediately curled up into a scowl , almost snarl-like and her left eyebrow raised into almost a right angle.

"I mean techno as in techno-classical. Like as in ,Vanessa Mae . Oh my god , you didn't think i'm referring to techno as in those ah lian ah beng techno right ?"

She smiled regretfully , with heavy overtones of disdain.

I wanted to impale her with my fork so much that i had to clutch it tightly. Who is she to insult techno ?! Bitch.

"Don't stereotype listeners of techno okay.. Do i even look lian to you ?"

She shrugged and i thought i heard her mutter "maybe" under her smelly sock breath.

She poked at her slice of cake listlessly , almost afraid to look at me since i was sort of glaring at her.

I guess Rosie must have overhead the conversation and felt the tension between us so she started yakking away at some irrelevant topic.

argh.

Just because you take 10 subjects in school and ace every damned thing doesn't make you a better person so don't give me that holier-than-thou attitude.

Needless to say , she sucessfully ruined my appetite.

Next time , if i ever see her again , i'll use a piece of sticky tape to stick the hem of her skirt up to her waist and let everybody see the granny-nanny-baggy-baggy beige panties that i'm sure she wears since she's obviously tied in a dead knot to her mother's apron strings. ( and as we all know mothers always buy those kinda undies for their little girls. well , at least i've never heard of moms buying thongs for their daughters anyway )

I don't give two hoots about what the other may perceive of techno/eurodance.

Noisy ?

Ah beng ah lian ?

un-class ?

For one thing , anything that your aural senses dislikes , it classifies them as noise.

Likewise , someone who is into Green Day may find Lisa Ono a strain on the ears.

and vice versa.

---
random picture of the day
-







mooning in progress

secretly snapped pic of my butt ( what else !? ) . No , the black strap is not some kind of bungee jumping equipment , contrary to popular belief , but my bag. I think i was leaning over a glass partition which is why my top looks so darn short. Photo courtesy of Aaron the lousy amateur photographer.

Listening to : The beatles - Hey jude

 

Friday, October 01, 2004

http://www.photoshopcontest.com

Check this website out ! WAY COOL.

 

----
Jaded
--

Jaded. This word has been hanging on my lips for the past few days , and it ain't a good sign.

I feel like i could really take a break now , away from everyone. I'm not saying that my life has been hard for the past week or so , or rather , it has been too good to be true.

What the fuck.

Rather , i have been so preoccupied with hanging out with different groups of friends so much , realisation dawned onto me that i have lost touch with myself.

And my old friends. The good ol' ones.

Pangs of envy attack me whenever i see couples going all lovey-dovey with each other. I must be crazy.

I think of him too , whenever i see even the simplest act of concern on the streets such as the boyfriend offering to carry the bag for the girl , and the girl reacting by expressing mock reluctance , giving in eventually .. With a genuine smile of joy , away from his eyes.

I miss being the girl who gets stray strands of hair tucked behind the ear by him

I miss the gentle brush across my cheeks with his hand

I miss looking at him nodding off on the bus

I miss washing the dishes for him.

------------------------

I need a getaway!

Forget Mauritius. Too exploited. Too many tourists. Too artificial.

I wanna go to the Seychelles.




To walk along this beach ..

To have the foamy waves lick at our feet..

To feel the sand between our toes..

To have him piggyback me.

How surreal eh ?

I don't mind Yorkshire .

Or Tibet.

Or Bhutan.

Okay , this long overdue post sounds way toooooo mushy and romantic . I apologise. This isn't like me. I need to reformat my brain !!!


 

the writer

fiona

20

singaporean

writer

Links

 

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