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i said i am NOT interested so back off !
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Believe me when i say that one of the main reasons why those fundraising shows still strive despite an excess of it hitting our screens recently is...

PITY.

No , not pity as in , sympathy towards the needy.

But more of an intolerent empathy towards the long-suffering c-list celebrities repeating the hotline with the extremely irksome thumb-and-pinky to ear motion while putting on their best exhausted expression they learnt while in drama class.

Not to mention the politically correct breathless *pant pant* post-performance speech.

e.g :

i-am-so-anonymous-that-no-one-will-give-a-damn-even-if-i-fucked-nelson-mandela-actress :

*wheeze* i hope that everyone will pick up your phones now and donate generously.. $5 may not be much to you but it means *pant pant* alot to these kidney patients . the pain that i have suffered is nothing *gasps so audibly that her mouth threatens to split her face into half* to these courageous patients *pants* so please call 190000018256752611 now ! Everyone in the audience , please do your part too ( camera pans towards the audience and once they realise they're being caught on the screen quickly pulls out a top-of-the-range cellphone and starts punching on the keypad. but of course you know that they're pretending)

HELLO ?

$5 is enough to pay for a day's worth of food , so why the hell should i give it to you to fund your elaborate props and set costumes ?

How much energy does it take to pirouette around the stage ? I mean of course , we feel your pain , yes . I know how grating it is to fly around a stage with a strap around your groin hoping that the pressure never affects your sperm count . But isn't this "i sweated buckets for this show and mediacorp is paying me nuts so you better call in to make us look good when we hit the target" affair getting a bit too much ?

besides , we all know how much NKF have in their coffers.

You selfish assholes , contribute some of the moolah to smaller organisations like Renci lah !

if not the poor singaporean audiences are gonna have to put up with more unfunny nausea-inducing skits or another showcase of Vincent Ng's wushu-prowess .

i think i would be even more impressed if someone pressed a lump of dough onto his abs and bakes it so that it produces a loaf of ab-shaped bread.

Anyway.

Back to my topic.

We all know how irritating it is to have random people leech and walk beside you like a chaperone as you hurriedly make your way towards the mrt or something.

and we all know very well that "miss , this is just a market survey and i won't take more than 5 minutes of your time' is complete bullshit.

firstly , it is never just a "market survey".

that's just a frigging excuse because its a well-known fact that all these suckers want are your numbers so that they could pass it on to telemarketeers where the assault continues.

yep , if you wondering where those "hi you have just won a carribean cruise but you will have to come down to our office to claim it" came from , let me tell you this.

ITS YOUR OWN FAULT.

if , like most kiasu singaporeans , you fall for it and actually head down to some dinghy-looking office that looks like its incapable of even settling their arrears much less pay for your carribean cruise , you're stupid.

most probably , you'll get locked up in a cell and be subjected to 2 hours of hard-selling of some tupperware products that costs a couple of grand. woo-ha.

and the carribean cruise never materialises either.

i had it up to my neck when this pimply young boy addressed me as "madam" while i was in a hurry.

i tried to brush him off politely with a wan smile but he pressed on.

my my.

i did the unimaginable .

i actually stopped and wagged my finger at him and i said

"if you *my finger so close to his nose that i could feel the oil evaporating off his blackhead-dotted nose condensing on my prettily manicured nail* don't stop it this very moment you're going to be sorry"

everyone gave me a strange stare as they witnessed this minor one-sided melee but i couldn't care less.

anyway this boy started apologising profusely and took a million steps behind and fled.

only to start harassing another person.

I also find it downright irritating when those people latch onto me with opening lines like

"heya sista !" before shaking my hand or puttin their arms around my shoulder as if we're really pally.

You may chastise me for being rude , and you may preach all you want about these people wanting to make a living.

as a matter of fact , they are , what.

getting paid for being rejected.

and to those potential leechers reading this right now - scroll down and REMEMBER THE FACE IN THE PHOTOS.

do not pester her if you do not want whatever it is in her hand to be shoved up your ass.

oh dear , i am beginning to sound too cynical for my own good.

**********

Here's a summary of what i did for the past 10 days or so ( with bad grammar mistakes but never mind. )

Saw my friends getting beaten up to a pulp at a club.

Hang-ed ( or hung ) out with a few new friends i have made , one of whom is a political-reform advocate and not surprisingly , a Bob Marley fan. And another , a kickass bartender who scared the shit out of me off by juggling 3 wine bottles at Carrefour . Well done , you.

Engaged in trash-talk at a chalet.

Get wasted on a lethal cocktail of vodka , cheap bourbon and other unidentifiable but as vile-tasting liquids at Ju's farewell party.

Attend mind-numbing , ass-freezing classes.

Blew two weeks' worth of allowance on shopping.

Helped out at Renci .

Family gatherings. Yay , i love my family. :D

Talked to my classmates more than i ever did in all lessons combined.

Worked.

Slacked around in random coffee joints to bitch.

A sudden re-infactuation with someone i haven't seen for / contacted almost two months .

my newfound obsession with dimples.

Rooted for Singapore during the Tiger cup.

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Will add on to it when i'm feeling more conscious.. I'm in need of a good night's rest .. Yawn !
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listening to : KoRn - Alone i break.