-----
excuse me while i get my hankie
---

Sometimes , i really feel that the best form of entertainment comes free .

Take public transportation for example.

The myriad of random characters and the mini-dramas that occur ( from eavesdropping on people's conversations to openly gawking at public displays of affection ) never fails to pique my interest in taking buses/trains even though most of the time laziness and the weather gets the better of me and i hop into a cab.

Anyway.

Took a feeder bus to the train station just now i couldn't help but give a second glance to this well-dressed gentleman probably in his mid-twenties because his scent wafted to my nose in delicious continuous waves ( wah kaoz , what a description ) and get this - IT WAS THE UNMISTAKENABLE ALL TIME FAV SCENT OF MINE : HUGO BOSS !!!!!! ( That scent never fails to make my head turn . Sooooo manly . Okay i sound bimbotic. ) .

Didn't hurt that he was quite cute , too . That overnight stubble. Yummy.

Of course i chose a seat where i could have a good view and sniff of him , which was directly behind him.

I might sound like a psycho to you but while i was at it ( admiring his back view and practically floating on his scent ) , i actually noticed that his nape is unusually hairy and i concluded that he is a hairy person . Keen sense of observance eh ?

OKay , i digress.

As i was saying..

Yeah , halfway thru the ride , i got quite stunned when he actually fished out a neatly folded brown checkered HANKERCHIEF ( even typin the full word out gives me the jitters ) .

AND proceeded to PAT his nose ever so gently , so daintily with it .

I swore he looked at it lovingly before he placed it back into his breast pocket ... ( Careful now , wouldn't want to crease it , won't we ? oh the horrors ! *waves hand in exasperation* )

For a moment i was quite aghast . It has been quite some time since i last saw a hankie , with the exception of my grandfather and aunt who swear by their hankies .

But as realisation sank in , i was torn between deciding if he was just being nice to his mother or that he's really a sissy.

If he was just being nice to his mom , would he even use it in public in the first place , and with such grace at that ?

If he was really a sissy , then why oh why did he have to look ( and smell ) so good ?!

Now before you dismiss me as a mad ranting bitch who has too much time on her free time to debate over such mundane insignificant matters , well , you're right.

as a matter of a fact , bus rides ARE boring. especially if you take the same bus every damned day.

I have nothing against hankies , i love it that they're so charming ( don't ask. i just find it charming in a way that is inexplicable ) and somehow , it makes the user look so.. sensitive ( not sensitive as in sensitive to tissue lah , assholes . ) and refined. ( yeah , the association with hankies and gentlemen from the dunno-what era .
just like those classy ladies with their frilly umbrellas that served no practical usage except to shield them from the sun. and of course how can i not mention the raised pinky and tea cup combination that never fails to get on my nerves )

But please bear in mind hankies are a breeding ground for bacteria , germs and whatnots. Imagine a whole colonies of contented fuzzy bacteria munching on your bits and pieces from your nose and the corner of your mouth and mutiplying by the millions.

And by evening the colonies would have grown so fast that it would have spilled out into your pocket..

And out of your pocket and onto your shirt....

And then your skin where it would thrive on your sweat and grime ..

and then it'll enter your body through your pores and make friends with the various forms of bacteria inside ..

And then it'll eventually sink its teeth ( do they even have teeth ? ) into your vital organs and then you'll die of a collapsed lung or heart sucked dry of blood by the parasites.

ALL BECAUSE YOU USED A FRIGGING HANKERCHIEF.

Now , i don't think anyone would like to have "Hankerchief" as a cause of death on your death cert , right ?

what the fug , i can't believe i actually said all that unfunny and irrelevant stuff. i've so strayed from my intended topic.