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Sunday, February 06, 2005

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Men are visual creatures.
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And yes indeed !

Tell me , how often have you seen a guy with a female Godzilla lookalike ?

I mean yes of course you have , but most probably the guy himself looks like Chewbacca .

Being the very inquisitive me , i probed into this case further and taught myself a lesson on social behavioural studies ( which is one of my modules in school by the way ) .

As everyone knows , Friendster is THE place for all buayas to prey on innocent girls online anonymously , simultaneously satisfying their inner-voyeur by reading up every profile of the girls they come across.

So i've set myself up as a bait .

Firstly , i changed my main display photo to this




And i basically deleted all of the normal looking photos of me in my account.

And guess what ?

For a whole two weeks NOBODY messaged me .

And then yesterday , i revamped my account and changed the photo again.

I guess this one's more aesthetically pleasing.




Seriously , i can't stand this photo even though everyone else seems to like it and they go "awww.." because

1) i look like a bloody 14 year old school girl when i'm in fact going to be 19

2) i don't look like that at all in person. yes i have flabby cheeks that just screams to be pinched but bear in mind that 50 years down the road, gravity would have taken its toll and the two blobs of once-cute fats will become unattractively droopy , wrinkled like crocodile hide and it'll feel like rubber instead of a pillow filled with down.

Anyway.

I came home 8 hours later to find 6 new messages waiting for me .

Example :



WHAT A JOKE.

Maybe you should go to the British Council and take up some english lessons before attempting such a Jackass stunt , darh-ling .

Its so obviously that his message is a "cut and paste" sort of strategy .

Because the message is so generic , this person can always just hit Shift+Insert in the message line to just anybody he fancies without going through the hassle of typing one.

I wouldn't be surprised if he had sent out a few hundred messages like this within one night.

And that at least one would bother to reply. Which will be good enough for him.

Out of the few hundred messages i have received ( after doin a check with my girlfriends , i can safely confirm that most girls with decent looking photos have received the almost same number of messages ) ever since i signed up with this bloody thing because it is the website du jour , i can safely say that only 3 or 4 are really sincere in making friends with me , judging from their messages which i have replied and have maintained healthy friendships with.

I am really not impressed with lines like

"hIi , my name is Moby and i like to do poseur-techno music that nobody really fancies but just pretends to because it its sooooooooo coooooool to do so and Eminem hates me. Anyway , i like your picture. You sound interesting. Call me at 96272881917282 or add me at mobylovesmarshallmathers@fug.com okies ?"

or

"Hi , you so cute la. be friends with mi ok ? add me lor ! tah_ah_kow@ahbeng.com or sms me at 9322020022222 hor ?"

Which brings me to another point.

Why are some people SO trusting with their phone numbers ?

All they know about me , is a public profile and a few lousy quality pictures that can easily be phoney.

I might be a closet ladyboy with a fetish for calling up men at random from a private line and getting a hard-on from breathing and panting heavily into the mouthpiece and they'll never figure out that all this is their own undoing.

Or i might be a drug dealer who purposely dialled your number so that it'll appear in my last dialled list and i'll leave my phone somewhere for the police to find and then they'll call and put a very bewildered you into detention .

Red herrings , you know ? Using you as a scapegoat and throwing the police off my lead.

As i was saying..

I don't know about the rest of the girls but personally , if i see a message that i think is quite individualistic , probably i'll reply even though i'm not really actively seeking to broaden my social circle.

For example

"Hey , you have a fascination with blood ? that so bloody interesting ( pun intended ) ! i don't exactly share your interests but i do have quite an obsession with body piercings and i guess the two goes hand in hand yah ?"

or

"hey , i love your blog. loved the entry about the forked tongue although i almost threw up upon seeing the photos. cheers !"

Oh yeah , i love it when people dish compliments on my blog. Heh.

So there you have it.

Proof that men ARE visual creatures.

And no , please don't give me the shit that we women are as much of a visual creature .

Skeptical ?

Why not you take a walk around town and observe. Probably you'll see quite a number of attractive women with less-than-perfect partners.

And NO normal-looking guys with substandard girlfriends.

Such is life. *laments*

--------
he who failed history
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As for me , the last two guys i had a crush on weren't exactly greek gods .

Heck , they weren't even half as cute as Soo Kui Jien.

And they had pimples the size of marbles.

Maybe its my natural instinct to be attracted to men with substance ( read : ugly but intelligent ) because i'm not exactly well endowed in the looks department and to be head over heels with a Manhunt contestant is just way out of my league , or as the chinese saying goes "Lousy toad hankering for the immaculate Swan"

That , or good-looking guys are usually scatter-brained without personal opinion and the conversation usually goes

Me : So , where are we headed to for lunch ?

Him : You decide lor.

Me : How about Long john's ?

Him : Dunch want lah , had that yesterday

Me : Okay.. how about food court ?

Him : Aiyo , so many people leh..

Me ( thinks : bloody hell , ask me decide still so choosy , go fuck yourself lah ) : Okay.. then where you want ?

Him : Actually i feel like having Pastamania...

Me ( Then SAY SO IN THE FIRST PLACE LAH YOU DEEK ) : Okay.

You see , usually we hear guys complaining that we girls are guilty of the above.

Well , SAME TO YOU TOO MISTER !

To be a metrosexual is one thing.

( though i personally find it abit unsettling to date someone who asks questions like "Hey, you using that Lancome cleanser huh ? how is it huh ? I now using Clinque leh , abit drying." Or even worse , to hold hands with someone with a sparkling manicure. OMFG )

To be girlish and undecisive is another.

I'll certainly prefer the former.

Of course i'm not saying that you have to be in the RI alumni to impress me , but i think that one should have the basic grasp of worldly matters.

I am not expecting my boyfriend to be an intellect.

Its okay if you don't know the difference between Venice and Vienna , or that Oscar Wilde's a gay , or where the Louvre musuem is.

But i think its really sad if you thought that "Charlie and the chocolate factory" is the latest line of chocolates by Cadbury, that the Mona Lisa was painted by Leonardo Di Caprio Or *shudders* , if you thought that the Pacific ocean is the only ocean in the world .

An example of a conversation with a person who obviously failed history. I swear this really happened to me a couple of months back.

Me : Wah lao , look at that Mat-rocker !

Him : His leather pants damn gross leh. So tight.

Me : Yah lah , look at that Swastika on his vest. iI bet he didnt know Hitler really brainwashed his people to hate the jews.

Him ( silent for a while ) : Oh... yah lor... hahah.....

Me : Yah..

Him : Yah.... what kind of jews ?

Me : What ?

Him : What kind of jews lah ? Apple or orange or what ?

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I think i'm falling sick after all that late nights and stuff. Damn , hope my flu and cough clears before Chinese new year !!


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Listening to : The beatles - To love somebody


 

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