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adventures of loo-cy the cockcroach
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Unlike most girls , i do not have an irrepressible fear of six-legged creatures. While staring at a cockcroach or a slug a hair's breadth away will probably make everyone else barf or send them into a mouth-foaming spasm , i actually like observing them .
But of course i don't touch them lah.
But yesterday's incident will send even the bravest into fits .
At around 4am , i was in the midst of getting a harsh scolding from my dad because i went home really late.
So as usual my dad repeated these done-to-death phrases
"You think this home your hotel ah ? Come and go as you wish ?" ( Of course not dad , hotel rates are expensive whereas i'm staying for free )
"You think your father is dead huh ? Don't you not have any respect for me at all ?" ( I don't see the link between respect and a 19 year old staying out late )
"No more next time i tell you !" ( Riiiiiiight. )
How i managed to maneuver around the furniture in the dark with only a towel wrapped around myself ( My dad caught me just as i was going to sneak into the common bathroom ) and into the master bedroom's bathroom to get my facial cleanser was a miracle in itself.
But how my dad managed to follow me around the house as i tried to shun his nagging was the bigger miracle.
While trying to reach for the cleanser in the dark , i tried not to pay heed to the monotonous drawl of his lectures and hummed quietly to myself.
SUDDENLY.
I stepped on something .
Doesn't matter what it was but i knew if i stepped on something that felt like that at 4am it can't be something good.
I yelled and i don't know what the fuck i was doing but i guess it was a body's natural reflexes to flail yr hands around while yelling . So my towel dropped and i groped around in the dark to look for it while praying the intruder doesn't crawl up my legs. '
My dad turned on the lights and sure enough there was an incredibly huge oily-looking cockcroach with half of his body flattened.
Yes , my towel was around me by the time the lights were on ( big thanks to calmone :P )
YUCKS!
BLOODY HELL !
It appeared quite incoherent because it went around in circles , dragging a wet trail behind it.
And yes , there was a small smudge of wetness where i stepped on it.
BLOOOOOOOOODY HELL AGAIN !
My dad , being the perfect house-man , couldnt stand the sight of a cockcroach in his immaculate toilet and went to retrieve the Baygon.
I quickly grabbed the chance and hopped one legged to the common bathroom because you don't want cockcroach juice from the bottom of your foot all over the house don't you ??
As the saying goes , no big loss without some small gain.
At least the cockcroach helped create a diversion !!! HA !
At the expense of its life :P
I almost slipped and died because being the brainless me i used undiluted Dettol on my foot and as everyone knows Dettol is alkaline and alkaline is very soapy.
And yes my foot is still feeling soapy.
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Paedophile
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Caught The Woodsman with Tre , with Shelly and Nash sitting on the other side of the theatre because it was a last minute decision on their part to catch it.
I must say that although the plot wasn't exactly original , predictable in some parts , Kevin Bacon's performance as a paedophile struggling to shake off his past was very compelling and every nuance of his expressions so genuine that his performance alone outshone the entire film.
I don't know why but i kept imagining him as a skull because his face looked so boney and his face looked "tight" .
Anyway.
Tre , the "driver with 2 weeks old probational driving licence" kept me entertained the whole night with his bursts of "Shits!" "Oh fuck !" "Damn!" every few minutes because
1) He had taken a wrong turn
2) He had lost his bearings and had to resort to asking me , the "compass without a needle" for directions.
3) Some other equally reckless driver had pissed him off ( Which was quite frequent i noticed )
4) He had to make illegal turns at the most awkward places . Like turning right when we're in the middle lane , or making a U-turn through the narrowest space between a road divider.
But the highlight of the night HAD to be this.
Stopping at East Coast for a few rounds of pool , he reversed into the parking lot and said
"You know , this place is teeming with parking attendants .."
" Relax lah , its 2am ! They need to sleep too you know !"
"Hello ? Parking attendants are around 24/7 !"
"Chill lah .. We won't be that unlucky"
My ass !
After getting thrashed ( as usual ) at pool , we happily made our way back to the car.
Then i heard a groan from Tre .
He held a long strip of paper in his hand.
"SUMMONS !!!!!!!!!! - Insert string of expletives here- !"
I was amazed . How very lucky .
The impossible had happened .
"2.41 a.m some more ! We were already on our way here !!!! - Insert more expletives here-"
I glanced at my handphone.
It was already 3.15a.m but i didn't have the heart to tell him but since he reads my blog he'll find out anyway. =P
Comparing him to other rides i had from my friends , he was somewhere in the middle .
Joel had to be the worst !
Which other moronic driver drives in a swiggly S-shaped way just to scare me IN THE MIDDLE OF A BUSTLING ROAD ?!
Or how about abruptly braking and accelerating ?
By the way i was quite disgusted by the sloppy way the stall vendor of the famous "Bak Chor Mee" at Bedok Blk 85 packed my noodles.
Usually , chilli would in a cute little plastic pouch right ?
Hell no.
I went home to find the chilli squashed beneath the packet of noodles and the plastic bag .
Do they do this everytime or what ????
-_-
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Listening to : Story of the Year - Sidewalks
