orgasmic hamsters

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Wednesday, March 30, 2005

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it kills.
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Before you shag that hot eurasian chick you picked up at Zouk a few hours ago or that hunky dude with THE bod from some gay bar along Tanjong Pagar , wait. ( I know i'm being terribly sexist by implying that most flings are initiated by men , regardless of sexual inclination. But hold on.. it TRUE ! )

Why wait ? You ask.

Sauntering into the nearest 7-11 store , you pick up a box of strawberry-flavoured but inedible stuff so strategically placed by the counter at the last minute among with your titbits , pretending to be nonchalent.

Because you risk to contract STDs if you're going to get into his/her pants , i reply.

No sweat , dude . I have rubber. You say , and you zoom off in your swanky Subaru Legacy .

Ah. Always the case .

What people don't know is that , the HIV virus is small enough to penetrate through condoms . Condoms are a form of contraceptive , not a device that prevents STDs.

Because the virus can lie dormant in your body for as long as 10 years before it blows up and pins you to a corner , you continue fucking around and accumulating all sorts of viruses until the day you wake up to find a cauliflower growing on your balls and no , it doesn't taste any better stir-fried with garlic the chinese way.

A week later you have a cauliflower garden thriving between your legs.

A month later you would be so weak , that even if Angelina Jolie stripped in front of you , you won't even have the strength to fondle her.

And that is all your fault , you gallivanting motherfucker.

Don't go around cursing the heaven and the people around you for the terrible infliction .

I've given some thought to that Balaji or whatever minister said regarding gay parties , that they increase the number of AIDS carriers.

Its true to an extent though my initial reaction was to scoff at him when it first came out in the papers.

You see ah , i noticed that gay men love crowds.

Safety in numbers.

You seldom see two gay men engaging in any sexual act , that they usually do it together in a group.

The word here is orgy.

So you see ..

One condom. 5 asses .

Everyone knows that asses have no natural lubricants , and that lubes are definitely a must-have for anal sex.

Which means that the condom would be worn quite thinly from all that friction. ( look , 5 asses are alot of ass ! And i don't think that in the throes of passion anyone would be bothered enough to change his condom )

Thus increasing the risk of breakage.

And assholes are even more susceptible to spreadin the virus as they're such a conducive place for viruses to mutiply in.

So there you have it.

Abstinance is the best form of preventing STDs lah. Wanking off isn't so bad you know , at least you don't have to exert so much force , its "own time own target" and you get to train your biceps.

I feel very strongly about such people.

People who fuck around without knowing they have AIDS and in turn spread the virus to the person.

Actually it serves that person right also la. Who ask you to be so loose in the first place ?

And even worse , people who KNOW that he/she have AIDS and still continue infecting people because they want others to share their misery and thats really a damn despicable act.

Heinous motherfuckers.

I hope you have fun eating cauliflowers harvested from your balls.

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would you like to eat my cauliflowers ?

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listening to : koRn - right now ( yes again )

p/s : actually cauliflower-like growths are not a sympton ( how the F do you spell that ) of AIDS but genital warts but usually AIDS sufferers get all the STDS in a package deal so yeah . And yes , i hate eating cauflowers. Broccoli tastes much better anyway.

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sexy blogger !
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OKok .. The Sexyblogger thingy is like so passe now but what the hell , if you can't beat 'em , join 'em ! And no i don't have a flickr account so i'll have to post it up here.


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Taken today , just before headin out. And yes , i was decently dressed . I was wearing a tube top before i decided to change so the photo turned out looking so wrong la ! By the way blogger damn lag now sia. nabei . publish 10 times , fail 10 times. wow i sound so ah-lian.

 

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