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the walking lamp post
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Its a Friday , damn it ! But i'm at home.

Sadly , my friday was uneventful.

Headed for school , had dinner at my Grandma's , hung out at Rebirth to talk cock with Ian for a while before ending up at the kopitiam near my place to stir kopi with Jerel , Ros and .... HH .

** This is quite personal so its quite boring. You have been warned.**

Well , ironed out some disputes with HH with J&R being the meditators but it was still really awkward to accept the fact that your formerly number one best guy buddy wants to take things a step further , simply put , he wants out from a platonic friendship and into something else.

That kind of something else . Like , flowers and sweet nothings.

Whatever to the guy whom i used to throw boxes of tampons at while shopping at Cold storage , stuff bits of random debris down his boxers , have fights with bits of ice blown from a straw as weapons and of course , his sleeve i would so often use as for my tears during those agonising months last year.

Imagine the shock i got a couple of days when i was happily tellin him about this cute guy i just got to know and his reply was "Fine , whatever. Go throw yourself at him then , if that makes you happy ."

And he hung up on me.

He apologised , but he became cranky on wed again , as mentioned in my previous post.

I don't know lah . It suddenly occured to me that whenever i thought i've found myself a good male confidante/friend i could really depend on , things always go awry and i find myself getting hurled with accusations from their friends like "Why did you have to lead him on ?"

In what way ?

By puking onto his lap while in a completely drunk stupor ?

Or by telling him that my period's unusually heavy this month ?

Or by giving him a very graphic and detailed description about my bout of stomach upset ?

Come on , people ( you know who you are )

Get your facts right before you start your preaching again.

I'm sorry , as cliched as it sounds , i've never meant to hurt you because all these while i've always looked upon you as a brother , and that the sudden change in behaviour i attributed it to a rough patch you're going through.

And to the rest before this , i'm sorry as well.

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Have i mentioned how sucky it feels when you're walking through a crowd and then there's this couple who're holding hands gets in your way ?

For a brief second , an awkward silence prevailed.

You make the decision to turn right but its too late. They have released their hands to let you pass and this is the exact moment you feel like a complete asshole.

It happened to me TWICE today.

How very ominous.