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101 dating tips
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Was feeling a tad blue yesterday night and i complained to Kerwin about some boy-problems i had and he tried to help by giving me some of the corniest ways to snag a guy .
To briefly summarise his "tips"
"Touch him."
"Touch him again."
"Touch him some more!"
He guaranteed that the guy will fall head over heels over me if i followed his guidelines.
Ah. Behold the power of a woman's touch.
I found it unorthodox to resort to relying on seducing a guy to achieve something though.
And also , if the lure of physical intimacy is so great that he would fall for me , then i don't think that guy's a person i would want to be with anyway.
Kerwin also wanted me to grab him and plant a big wet one on him during the most unexpected moments , like while walking home on a quiet path.
He also said something like
"Tell him that you got a habit of biting people's lips and that you dare him to let you do it on him , before he can reply KISS HIM !"
WAH LAO. SO CORNY RIGHT!??! Some more if i got pushed away or even worse , get slapped by him how ?? SO PAISEH LOR. *shudders*
Rejection is very very very very very very very traumatising.
Besides , i told him , i don't wanna lose my first kiss to a guy under such rash circumstances.
I know this is really stupid sounding , call me a hopeless romantic or whatever , but my vision of my first kiss goes something along the lines of me falling asleep on his shoulder on the upper storey of an empty double-decker bus, him nudging me awake and then i would awake looking into his eyes .... and then.. LOL. *burst of pyrotechnics sia !*
Or how about this classic setting ..
At my void deck , saying our reluctant goodbyes , a chaste good night peck on the cheek that progresses into something else :P
Actually it almost happened before but .. I wasn't prepared and i was all flustered and i starting laughing when his nose touched mine and his goatee tickled my chin.
It didn't help that i regarded his tongue and lip piercings as obstacles.
The momentum was lost , man !
I will never forget the way he scratched his head and how he bit his lip so sheepishly after that in that few seconds of awkwardness - the aftermath of a kiss that never materialised :D
Hohohoho.
Although technically it won't be my first kiss since i've kissed a couple of girls before ( i wasn't sober but knew what i was doing ) , and have kissed guys on their cheeks for sessions of truth-or-dare or some other special occasion like birthdays , it still matters alot to me which guy i'll be locking lips with.
Definitely not when i'm drunk nor for a silly game of dare.
Recently , the grim reaper has been actively seeking out people around me . Two friends of mine passed away , and people around me had their friends taken away as well.
And they were all young people. 19 ? 21 ?
So little achieved when you're that age.
If i died tomorrow , i would really die with ALOT of regrets.
I certainly don't want to die before i've kissed someone i like.
I don't want to die without knowing how it feels like to be pregnant , to go through childbirth painful it might be , to see how good-looking my spawn would turn out to be.
I don't want to die without walking down the aisle on my prettiest day , then crying my eyes out while exchanging wedding rings.
I don't want to die before attending the weddings of my best friends , to grow old with them.
Yan and i often jest about how it would be like 10 years later. Would we go for high-tea or a mahjong session before picking up our kids together at the childcare centre ? Or would we remain spinsters for the rest of our lifes , living together until the day we die ?
I don't want to die without telling my grandparents how much i love them.
My condolences to all who have lost someone dear.
Death is random.
I want my epitaph to read
"Here lies the body of Fiona Tan
A jolly friend she was.
And she didn't die a virgin"
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listening to : the juliana theory - if i told you this was killing me would you stop ?
