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breasts.tits.boobs.
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This post will be entirely dedicated to the pair of much celebrated mammary lumps on the female body.

Boobs are , to the men , nothing more than an eye-pleaser and maybe a sort of indicator whether he is doing the right thing to his woman. You know lah , erected nipples ?

Actually its not really a good indicator la , since i noticed that i get that even i sneeze or yawn. I know , its like wtf right ?!

But you don't know how much boobs mean to me , though mine isn't very big and worst still i'm completely flat when i lie down . ( Think two peas on a chopping board )

I get nightmares thinking about baring everything to the one i love only to have him doubling up in laughter and demanding a break up right away.

My best friend's mother recently detected a lump in her boob and for the next few days all of us were worried sick awaiting the results of the test and thankfully the lump was benign.

I know i'm too young to start , but every now and then i'll absent-mindedly start probing mine with two fingers while blogging or reading or even eating , making sure that they're not supposed to feel like cookie dough and so far , so good.

I've read that some women refuse to operate on their boob for fear of losing them but ehhhh !

Whats losing a boob compared to losing your life ??

I can totally understand how traumatising it must be to live with only one boob , to perceive it as undesirable. There is always the option of reconstructing your boob too , though i really don't see the need to and i've always believe that the latter is available solely for the purpose of still remaining appealing to her partner.

But really if your husband really cannot live with the fact that you have only one boob then he is really one hell of an asshole.

Worrying issues aside , have you noticed that boobs are never symmetrical ?

I swear to god , my leftie is bigger than my rightie and it makes wearing bras a chore because sometimes i really have to fill the gap with stuffing so that i don't look lopsided. LOL.

I have a love-hate relationship with bras.

I love how they look , i love simple details like a touch of lace or when i feel girlish , cartoon appliques even.

I love how they make the wearer feel so feminine.

I especially love buying them , even though the lingerie i have mainly consists of black and satin , i still end up buying the same kind because i love black too much. Heh.

But i totally hate how it constricts me , especially when the underwires "eat" into your flesh and leaves your boobs feeling suffocated.

Its like wearing corsets !!

Thats why i never wear them at home ( except when my dad is around lah )

When i was in primary school , i felt terribly jeaalous of a few of my classmates because they were already wearing bras when i was still wearing a 3-for-$10 singlet under my blouse.

I remember having a habit of staring at the backs of my female classmates to tell whether they were wearing a bra or a singlet like me , LOL.

I guess my perverse instincts has been cultivated since young eh !

So anyway.

I wore my first bra at 12 , and it wasn't even mine.

It was my aunt's !!

Since i had no mom to turn to regarding such issues , i decided to solve the problem myself by stealing bras from her wardrobe and stuffing balls of tissues and even socks into the large gaping holes.

I had to , because you can't expect me to wear singlets on my first day of secondary school right !

My grandmother was amazed by my apparent growth spurt and being the blunt woman that she is , asked me who bought me the bras , only to have me confessing red-faced that THE BRA IS NOT MINE LAH !

So she thinks it was necessary to address the issue during the weekly Sunday family gathering in front of EVERYONE ( Uncles and cousins included )

"Eh , Xinyi needs bras liao leh. Who want to go and buy with her ?!"

I WANTED TO DIE LOR !

So anyway , my aunt bought me a ultra tiny cupped bra which had flower motifs on it and i dreaded wearing it because it fitted so well that i could not stuff anything into it to make my boobs appear larger.

Anyway fast forward to now.

My boobs are unfortunately , still small and its the cause of much ire because i am unable to wear a bikini nor cleavage baring tops because i don't have one in the first place.

Oh suddenly i remember an incident ( nothing to do with boobs )

I was in a foodcourt with my grandpa about a month ago and i asked him to take a seat first as i ordered chicken rice from a stall.

The auntie was staring at me blatantly with a disgusted expression as she collected the payment and as she was ladling the soup into the bowl , she blurted out

"So where are you from ? Vietnam ? China ? Wah you not bad leh , you sound like local. You very young hor ?"

I did not have the time to think so i replied

"Huh ? I local what !!"

Then it suddenly dawned onto me that she must have thought that I was some kinda foreign bride and my grandfather was my local husband !!

WHAT THE FUCK?

I couldn't just let her think that way so on purporse i said

"I don't want cucumbers on that plate , my GRANDFATHER does not like cucumbers" , emphasising on the word grandfather.

I think its really sad that people just don't think that a teenage granddaughter would go out with her grandfather because they think that only young kids enjoy the company of their grandparents.

I think its even worse when those tongue-wagging aunties assume that a young girl in the company of an elderly man is , you know.

The incident affected me so much that i get all riled up whenever i see young girls from China/Vietname getting cosy with their ancient lovers.

EEEEEeyuck.