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the little sinking red dot
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Singaporeans are a bunch of loathsome motherfuckers whose inane complaints comes in infinite truckloads .

Reading the Forum every other day cuts shorts my life by a day and increases my blood pressure.

You wouldn't believe what kind of banal stuff those people complain about.

There was this letter directed at NParks from an irate resident with an issue regarding felled trees that was directly causing an increase in mosquitos because apparently those logs were blocking some drains which in turn caused a build-up in stagnant water which in turn makes excellent breeding grounds for mosquitos.

NParks replied diplomatically of course , but if it was up to me , i would have said

"Dear old menopausal lady , shut the fuck up before we shut yours . Get your facts right before shooting your mouth off because whaddya know about nature ?

If we could we would have obviously removed the logs to prevent complaints from motherfuckers like you but we couldn't because if we did , we would have caused damage to the environment because don't you know tractors and other equipment are mammoth in size , no ?

But of course you don't give a fucking damn don't you lady because protecting the environment is of no concern to you compared to getting mosquito bites on your delicate cellulite-covered skin. Be patient and give those logs time to decompose peacefully ya ?

'Sides , what proof do you have that the mosquitos you have been seeing are directly caused by those logs ? Invest in a good mosquito coil and a mosquito net and shut the hell up.

Yours sincerely ,

NPARKS "

Another complaint that pretty much got me rolling my eyes was this obviously paranoid person who , after a visit to a goat farm or something , wrote to the Forum stating her displeasure that the farm compromised on hygiene because there was no soap on the farm , so the visitors could not wash their hands after coming into contact with the animals.

WOW NO SOAP LEH!!!!! THAT IS LIKE , SO SCARY !

Who ask you to touch the goats in the first place ?

"Oooh i'm going to contract Salmonella and Hepatitis and die from inhaling in the stench of the goat's excrement"

I feel like kicking someone's ass whenever they complain about animals being too "dirty" and the rush to sanitise their hands after say , using one index finger to brush over the fur of my hamster for a fleeting second.

I have handled hamsters all my life and i have not contracted rabies or an outbreak of warts on my face yet.

I'll let you guys know that animals are NOT as dirty as they're made out to be.

Excluding those stray cats and dogs whose idea of fun is a romp in the dumps of course lah.

If they are so filthy , why are you eating them ?

Come on , if you're going to get so uptight about such rubbish then why visit a farm in the first place ?

Its like going off to an island retreat to get away from the stress of the city life and bringing your laptop and handphone along.

And then there's a plea in today's Sunday times to "Increase recess time of our kids"

In that heart wrenching letter one mother wrote about how her lil' spoiled brat has no time for a proper "recess" because "20 minutes is just not enough for a child to queue up , tuck in and play" , after taking into consideration the time taken for the teachers to dismiss them and to line up properly before going back to class.

She also bemoaned about the fact that some teachers make their lessons so long that it eats into their recess time , no pun intended.

Teachers , always getting the brunt eh ?? So much for caring.

Too much , and the parents feel the pain for their little emperors .Too little , and the parents cry foul ( "I pay for my kids education and they better be worthy of my money !" )

I've been a primary school kid once and yes my recess time was also 20 minutes and we would all moan and sigh whenever we had to stay back for recess for "not doing your homework" or seeing the minutes tick by as the teacher droned on long after the bell had rang for recess.

I ate my food in a rush and drank my 10cents cup of Grass Jelly or Soya Bean milk from the stall that always had rumours circulating around it like "The uncle never washes the cups and recycles the leftover left in our cups" or "The uncle washes and recycles the straws!"

After gobbling down my food , whatever is left of our precious recess time was spent in the fitness corner swinging on the Monkey bars , playing round-the-school catching , seeing little boys fight or digging holes in the sand ( yes we had sand in those days. What rubber mats ?? )

There would be a mad rush as the bell signalling the end of recess was heard and we would all line up according to our heights , a smelly and sweaty lot , but filled from the food and flushed from play.

If all of my peers grew up into normal looking and well-built people even after 6 years of recesses which lasted 20 minutes and a curriculum not very different from now , i don't why the kids of now would not survive.

Looking at my little nieces and nephews who are fortunately not spoilt and given the rod when necessary , i am glad that i grew up in a family where brattiness would not be tolerated and i shall make sure that the tradition will continue when i have kids of my own.

20 minute recesses ? No problem !

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listenin to : deathcab for cutie - styrofoam plates