orgasmic hamsters

orgasmic hamsters

 

 

 

 

 

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

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that time of the month
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It is such a spirit dampener and depressing to wake up in the morning with a familiar and dreaded wetness ( and no it has nothing to do with being turned on ) in your undies that makes you go... OH NO... NOT TODAY ! OH FUCK OH FUCK NO NO NO NO NOT TODAY !

Yes indeed , that time of the month has come.

And as usual my body ALWAYS schedules it to fall on a day when its not supposed to. Fuck.

Tonight's supposed to be the night when i finally get to party after a hiatus of 2 long weeks and believe me , even the most absorbent tampon will not suffice on the first day of that time of the month.

WHY ?

Is it because the flow is like a engorged Amazon river ?

Nope. That is of little or of no concern to me because it doesn't really me affect me although it can be quite disgusting to sneeze or cough and hell , you can actually feel... okay never mind i shall not disgust my male readers with the details but all ye female readers should know what i mean. :D

Also , stomach cramps don't really daunt me since a little pink pill usually solves all my painful woes.

So what the hell is preventing you to let your hair down and get high on free flowing booze , you ask.

The reason is simple but my explaination for it is quite bizarre.

Because i feel unattractive whenever its that time of the month.

Though i'm not a provocative dresser , i make it a point to either wear a mini skirt with a decent top or vice versa ( the rule of thumb is , DO NOT overdo it. Either you wear something that reveals your legs or something more skimpy on top. NOT both. Tube tops and mini skirts are so .. bitchy and come-hither. But i think its just the traditionalist in me making a fuss )

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the outfit that screams CFM ! CFM ( Leave me a comment to find out what CFM means. Wow , are there really people THAT innocent ? ? )

And yes , i love dressing up. I make sure everything matches perfectly and that alone can take hours even though once you're in the club nobody gives a damn because its just so dark.

But somehow , i feel repulsive whenever i have my period and i suddenly long to be covered up in long sleeves and jeans and hide my face under a cap.

Why the sudden phenomenon ?

Simple.

During menstruation , obviously there is no egg to be fertilised and so your body doesn't see the need to be attractive since , lets admit it -
Girls dress up for the fundamental reason of attracting guys because the body says hey , we need sperm to fertilise your eggs so that the human species can survive so go forth and reproduce !! Up your chances of getting those gems fertilised so go go go and dress up !

Which goes without saying for the rest of the month you take great pains to doll yourself up because it is actually a case of mind over matter.

Anyway.

Was reading in a forum regarding the topic of gettin picked up at clubs.

When i just started out clubbing , i used to find it very flattering that someone actually finds me attractive enough to want to get to know me.

Even if that guy weighs 1000 pounds and reeks of week old fish.

Now now , i'm no Cindy Crawford ( okay so she's a has-been but her name has always been associated with beauty )

Neither do i have Jenna Jameson's ( go and google her name if you don't know her but please don't hold me responsible for the sudden flurry of pop-up porn ads ) boobs , fake as they are.

After reading that forum thread, my ego level is now hovering dangerously above zero.

Guys are intimidated by the real chiobu-s but they still want their egos to be masturbated when they succeed in getting a girl's number.

So they have no choice but to pick the second best , who are the plain janes like me who actually look quite decent after a few shots of tequila , under the sparkly shiny disco ball in the darkness.

That , or they just want a free fuck ( don't even bother if that is your only agenda because u will only get my 5 toes up your ass )

So now instead of feeling flattered , i guess i've got to go OH NO when i actually get picked up like a piece of trash again.

By the way if you're wondering i've only exchanged numbers with one person before in a club and yes , we're still good friends now.

Sigh.

How ah tonight ? = (

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My life - summarised
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Okay i've been pretty busy after i got back from China , catching up with my friends and my bestie over the weekend and then working my ass off at the airport and meeting up with friends again , okay , only this guy in particular.

He's an Ah beng ( without the Ah beng dressing and the Ah beng hair , thankfully. He's just the kind that makes you think "Wah , this guy surely is Beng" when you see him on the streets ) , speaks colourful hokkien to his friends and is definitely the last kind of person on earth i would even think of dating but i find myself quite intrigued by him .

And he doesn't even have a goatee.

And he chain-smokes.

And the first impression that he gives me ( even now sometimes ) is that he just wants to get me into his bed.

AND HE HAS LONG PINKY NAILS , like , WTF !?!!!!!!!!!!! ( i don't have the heart to tell him to get rid of those ghastly appendages )

But he is nice la. Really nice.

He makes me smile too !

Anyway.

School is scheduled to start in mid-july where i have to remodule my fucking Econs and Marketing. nabei.

SOMEBODY HELP ME !!!!

Meanwhile , its just work work work , more freelance writing , more nights out , more retarded activities with the idiots i hang out with and more time with my Ah Beng friend.

Heh heh heh.

So what ? I used to be an Ah Lian too , okay !

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Had smelly beancurd @ Geylang with my Ah Beng friend yesterday after work and it FUCKING STINKS. its much worse when u actually eat it. Like , something u would find if u scraped under the rim of a public toilet bowl.

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China
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Lazy to write about China now la , have decided to post a picture up with every entry.


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Children from rural villages . Definitely my favourite subjects.
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REPLY LEH !
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By the way... After reading SO MANY letters in the ST forum regarding the transportation fare woes of Poly students ( they have to pay adult fares when their JC counterparts enjoy student rates. wtf ? ) , i have yet to see a SINGLE reply from any of the public transportation companies ( namely SMRT and SBS transit ) nor the government.

Why ? You all humji ( cowardly in hokkien for all ye homo ignoramus ) ah ??

I thought you guys are always the first to reply the public ?

Or you guys still conjuring up a plausible reply to convince us ??

Want to earn our money , then SAY SO LAH.

By the way , do read yesterday's ( tuesday 14/6 ) forum page.

A very interesting read indeed , for you can see how moronic Singaporeans can be.

Fancy writing in to complain about being overcharged 15 meagre cents at Watson's because they don't round down prices when you buy in bulk. ( e.g a packet of tissues costs 15 cents and if you buy one u only pay 10 cents but when you buy 2 it costs 30 cents )

Hello , send one letter is 22 cents a stamp you know ????

Auntie ah , limbei give you 20 cents for you to shut the hell up you can keep the change la.

OKay i noticed that i've been sounding really singlish and hokkienish of late. I'll be damned.

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listening to : koRn - Right Now

HAPPY 19th BURFDAY TO TRE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Update : its 3.40pm and my cramps are in full swing now.

If you're wondering how cramps feel like , well , its like having the kind of stomachache that will be relieved by a visit to the loo but no , this time round no shit comes out and you're left to moan and groan on your bed with a makeshift hot water bottle ( a plastic bag filled with warm water and securely tied with a rubber band )

I'll be heading to Zouk ( i don't like Zouk but the rest wanna . sigh ) later in spite of everything so if you're heading down later , sms me hor .

Say hi to me later should you bump into me at Zouk ( Or China Black ) later even though chances are , you won't be probably be able to see me because I'll be inconspicuous among those tall beautiful people.





 

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