orgasmic hamsters

orgasmic hamsters

 

 

 

 

 

Friday, July 29, 2005

-----
the problem with men
----

Yesterday , we celebrated T's birthday at a place synonymous with Bengs and Lians ....

KBOX ! ( Okay its actually a KTV for the benefit of my foreign readers )

To be honest , i absolutely detest KTV sessions because i don't see any sense in paying to sing along to music when you can do that bloody well in the comfort of your home , or bathroom with self-delusional "omg i sound so much better in the loo" acoustic effects.

But then again like BBQs ( which i abhor as well ) , it makes a good place for get-together sessions since people are lumped together in an intimate setting perfect for conversations or rather , yelling matches over horrid off-key singing .

Anyway.

I realised that i have belittled the size of men's ego.

I used to think that it was this big *gestures with hands a metre apart* but now i think that its this big *points to a HDB building*

Mammoth sized it is.

Everyone had a drop too much last night and people were walking around proposing a toast for no reason and one of them was James.

His alcohol tolerance was something of a legend because it has been said that no one can outdrink him but tonight was definitely not his night.

Midway through he annouced "Okay my bladder's full , time for a piss!" and promptly disappeared through the door.

Kelvin and T looked at each other and seemed to echo each other's thoughts

"Eh.. Lets follow James to see whether he went to puke !!"

So they did and they came back collapsing in a fit of laughter

"Wah lao..... he really threw up man !!!!!! I can't believe it !!"

I wasn't convinced because the amount that James had drank was meagre compared to the gallons he could guzzle.

"How you know he puked ?!" I quizzed , interrupting the finger-guessing game that i was playing with Deric.

"Of course la , the entire toilet only had one locked cubicle , whaddya expect ??" Kelvin replied and added as an afterthought

"Shit .. i still cannot believe that he threw up."

Just then James walked in rubbing his stomach

"Ah.. shiok ah my bladder's empty again.. Eh come , who wants to drink with me ?!"

I looked at Kelvin and T who were biting their lips to prevent themselves from laughing out loud.

"Don't want lar.. Any more and i'm going to throw up" Kelvin said , amazingly convincing.

"What ! Are you sure !? Wah lao , drink so little wanna puke already.. Go home lah you !!" James taunted and took another swig of his pint ( FYI i used to pronouce this as peent instead of pine-t )

Everyone in the room fell into an awkward silence , knowing better than to burst James' little bubble.

As for me , i did what past experiences have taught me not to which is to down beer and hard liquor consecutively.

So i ended up throwing up so much that i was still at it when i got home and i must have been really loud because it woke my dad up and it was the first time that i let my dad see me in that state. Hahahha.

Of course he was lecturing me while i was engaged in a cosy tete-a-tete with the toilet bowl but he was nice enough to make me a cup of hot camomile tea which went untouched. I didn't really hear what he was saying though i could vaguely remember him saying something like "No more late nights for you !!!"

Damn.

Trust me , i would rather be dead drunk because then you wouldn't feel the shitty nauseous feeling but more often than not i would be completely sober and feeling like there would be no end to this puke fest.

I swear i am going to stick to drinking just one kind of poison the next time round. No more laying my hands on whatever is on the table !!!!!!

And now i shall head back to sleep even though its already 11am. Thank god i don't have class today.

 

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