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grrrrrrrl power!
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Before i joined this cafe , Jo was the reigning 'queen' of our branch because she was the only girl in our male-dominated working environment.

Upon realising that , i knew that there will definitely be friction between caused by her resentment.

What resentment ?

That she will no longer be able to enjoy the full attention from the rest of the crew because of me.

I'm not saying that because i think that i look better than her but because i understand the female psyche perfectly well .

And ALL female minds think alike.

Fuck all you detractors , don't try to cover up for your girlfriend by saying shit like "No leh , my girl isn't like that.. She's magnanimous and understanding !"

Understanding my perky ass.

Lemme tell you this.. She's just putting up an act. God knows how much she is seething inside , her claws tucked neatly under her cuticles , waitin to unfurl the moment YOU ( the stupid suck-me-and-i'll-be-content boyfriend ) are not around.

Guys , you should really try and eavesdrop on her during those all girl slumber parties or coffee sessions. Trust me , not a pretty sight to see your normally subdued girlfriend lashing her tongue "oh-my-god-i-cannot-believe-jane-is-such-a-fucking-whore-to-sleep-with-john!!"

Okay i digress.

Back to Jo.

Because Jo is the captain of our outlet's crew , i am at her beck and call.

Like a fucking dog !

Like today , as i was clearing a table , i accidently swept a glass off and amazingly it bounced off the floor like a rubber ball ( hey it rhymes ! ) and it did not break.

My collegue was amazed and so was i , and we were both chuckling about how incredibly awesome it was to see a glass fall off a height and not shatter.

Jo suddenly barked at me from behind

"Funny meh ? You're lucky it didn't break or you'll have to pay for it!"

WTF !????????

I stared at her incredulously and my collegue said

"Must be PMS lah.. Ignore her"

I gnarled my teeth at her menacingly when her back was turned ( i'll have you know i look really ferocious when i put on that expression because i have horribly deformed teeth )

And then a couple of hours later someone wasn't so lucky and broke a cup .

I mumbled a prayer for that suay guy because i saw Jo hurtling her fat ass towards him at Mach10 speeds.

"Wah.. Why so careless ? Quick , go sweep up the broken pieces before Ken ( our manager ) sees it. Be careful don't cut yourself !"

Wow.

Talk about being two-faced !

Even though she must be at least 25 , her snide remarks targeted towards me ( who else ? ) were incredibly juvenile , reminiscent of a school girl's mannerism.

Especially this incident.

My collegues were teasing me about how another collegue of ours , El , and I were so compatible with each other , and that El was interested in me ( Utter bullshit of course because i've never worked with El before )

I laughed it off and i went like

"ha ha ( sarcastic laugh ) , i've never even worked with El before , i've only seen him like twice during shift breaks!"

Apparently Jo was listening and she commented condescendingly as she walked past me

"Please lah.. You think El likes you meh ? You like him also he won't like you one , lor "

I could only look at her pass with my mouth gaping wide open .

It reminded me of my lower secondary days when staring incidents were the trend.

14 year old me : See what see ? Never see before huh ? Nabeh.. Sibeh xia lan !"

14 year old fellow ah lian : What ? If you never look at me how you know i looking at you ? Kan ni nah.."

Another one bearing testimony of Jo's childishness :

After work i had changed into my "civilian" attire of my usual getup of camisole and jeans.

I hopped over to the counter to say my good-byes and my collegues were wondering aloud whether i was going to head out to party because of the way i was dressed

"No lah.. I'm usually dressed like this.." , i said.

Before i could even add in anything else , of course Jo had to intervene , that lovely well-mannered lady.

"You know why she is dressed like that ? Because she think she is sexy what !! Right , Fiona ?"

It wasn't a question that was meant to be answered but i knew that if i did not , it would become an insult.

So.

I put on my most plastic smile ever and replied

"Of course. People don't say that i am sexy for nothing"

Jo rolled her eyes and made a retching sound that sounded like a snort.

Whatever.

I am going to stock up on my arsenal of rebuttals and mace.

I AM GOING TO WAR !!!!!

I hope our cafe hires another female soon so that we can spread the brunt of Jo's wrath between us.

Or even better , form an ally with me so that we can kick Jo's ass together.

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listenin to : Deathcab for cutie - photobooth ( this is really good shit )

The Garden State and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotles Mind's OST ARE MIND-BLOWINGLY fantastic .