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my best friend the dumb blonde
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My best friend , Yan has been pissing me off big time ever since she joined this company that sells health products about two months ago.

Because she is pretty simple-minded , i warned her about the bad rep MLM companies have garnered for themselves , but she reciprocated by giving me a piece of her mind , that "i should have more faith in her because she is not stupid", that her company IS NOT an MLM company even though all the signs are there , and she even hinted me that i might be jealous because of the five-figure sum that she will soon be earning. And , she reminds me , "my company is a registered company okay ! and a famous one at that , don't believe go check online !"

Which i did , and all the searches came up with was an amateurish HTML website. I couldn't be bothered to tell her about my finds though , because knowing her character too well i know that she'll come up with some lame-ass excuses anyway.

So you guys might think that as her best friend i should show her some support but before i go to that let me first tell you just how simple-minded she is .

An asian dumb blonde , i call her.

Firstly , almost everyone that sees her will agree that she has the attributes of a model. Leggy , fucking tall and slim. And tell me , which girl doesn't have dreams of making it to the catwalk ?

Of course , Yan is no exception.

There has been many touts in town promising young girls a shot at stardom by claiming that they have what takes , but of course you all know that to achieve "what it takes" , you'll have to pay a price for your portfolio which is your passport to glitterati and all that bling-bling.

And Yan , that stupid stupid girl , actually got hoodwinked into signing up for one which cost her almost $200 for a badly taken photoshoot , complete with garish make-up and corny poses.

Undeterred however , she told me last week that she desperately to sell off her health products quickly , because it was the "promotion" period whereby if she sold a certain number of products she will be promoted to a manager ( to which i rolled my eyes and thought if only was that easy ! ) and also , she needed $500.

I was like... "Wtf , why do you need so much money for?"

She proceeded to launch into a lengthy discourse on how this very reknowned ( don't know how credible also ) talents company has recruited her , how the "consultant" told her that "only people we feel has the X-factor will be invited to join us because we are a very exclusive company and we do not want the $2000 we will be spending on all new talents to go to waste and that is why out of 100 girls only 20 gets selected"

No prize for guessing that OF COURSE , Yan got "selected".

Being the very cynical person that i am , i could have sounded very condescending but i chose not to , so i asked about the $500 she has to fork out when the company will be spending $2k to groom her.

Yan thought of it for a while before replying

"Oh , $500 are for the photoshoot , the $2k is the money they goin to spend for makeovers and stuff"

I rolled my eyes and i absolutely cannot believe that she actually believed all of that crap.

I wanted to tell her , if you're really good , not only talent companies will come knocking at your door begging to sign contracts with you , they will even pay you instead of the other way round.

Since she couldn't even grasp this basic concept i guess i should not put her down by telling her.

So anyway back to the MLM topic.

She upset me a couple of days ago when i was in a terribly blah mood and was in an urgent need of a listening ear so of course i called her.

But expectedly she was working ( she's a part-time waitress ) so she did not answer.

A few mins later she messaged me asking why i called her , and i said i needed someone to talk to , badly.

And her reply really disappointed me.

"Har ? Help me sell the products to your family first then i will talk to you !! :p"

WTF ?

Because she had pressurized me about a week ago to help her promote her silly water-purifying systems to my family , i had not given her the results that she wanted because simply , my family wasn't in the least interested.

Besides , even though i am her best friend , i wasn't obliged to do any sort of promoting to my family. Why should i when i can always join some other MLM company and sell the products to them myself and gaining the profits ?

I put my phone away and refused to reply her because i was fuming.

I cannot believe my best friend was so obsessed with making money that every other thing was of second priority.

The next day she called and even though i had already repeated myself hoarse tellin her that my family wasn't interested , she insisted that i give her their contact numbers so she could call them up herself or fix a date so that she could pay them a visit.

OF COURSE I COULDN'T DO THAT !

Why would i want to subject my family to unecessary aggressive selling ?

Yan was incensed of course , and i was saddened that she didn't understand.

We didn't speak for a few days but she called me yesterday and i thought all was well when she said

"Eh , since you cannot help me sell the products.. help me to ask your friends fill in a survey for me for my company okay ?!"