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the straits times kopitiam
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If you read the straits times regularly , you should know about the tiny flame wars going on in the forum ( the longest flame war i've ever read was the exchange between the pro-NKF camp and the anti-NKF camp ) , which is by the way always an interesting read because of the colourful personalities behind the letters , such as the inane and petty complaints from the heartland aunties .
Angry Auntie says : I am a housewife residing in Tampines , married with 2 sons and a daughter . My daughter studies in the nearby Giraffes Primary school and my heart aches whenever i look at her because she has to walk more than 2 mins every day to get to school. This is no way to treat a 10 year old kid , i wish to see improvements like a shuttle bus service that will ferry my daughter to and fro from school.
You will also get to see crappy diplomatic and pointless ( notice how they NEVER address the issue directly ) replies from the government agencies , e.g :
Disgruntled citizen says : Nabeh cheebye , why the bloody IRAS website down one huh ? Kan ni nah , you IRAS assholes should know that the whole of Singapore will be filing their income taxes online what , then why the website lagging one huh ? Tell me , you smart alecs !
Wo Bu Guan , spokesperson for IRAS replies : Thank you for your insightful feedback , the IRAS reminds all citizens to file their income tax by April 15 or the necessary actions will be taken against them. Please feel free to forward all enquiries to IRAS at 1800-3825-968.
The award for the most irrelevant replies goes to.... SMRT and SBS !
Actually can't really blame them lah huh , since its so hard to answer why "Service 197 is always crowded that i cannot board the bus in the morning" or "Why did it take one hour for Service 22 to arrive?"
Not forgetting the "bouquet-givers" :
Happy Customer says : I was dining at Harry's Le Coq when i realised to my horror that the spring chicken which i ordered had one wing shorter than the other. I brought the matter to the manager's attention and not only he got me another chicken, he also waivered the bill for my entire 20-strong family. I wish to thank him for my wonderful dining experience at Harry's Le Coq. Kudos to the manager !
I sometimes can't help but suspect that the praises for some people comes from themselves ( especially those in the service industry ) , its like after all how can the editors fish out the real bouquets from the fake ones ?
And the new breed of writers who dare to give suggestions that will never implemented , such as a letter in today's Forum which brazenly suggests the gahmen to review the 3/4 tank policy due to escalating petrol prices , so that "local consumers can get cheaper alternatives and also act as an incentive for local gas stations to offer more competitive rates".
Like wtf.
The gahmen only see the underlying message.
"Simi lan jiao , then give Malaysia earn our money !? Then wait ExxonMobil see no money to here then they move to Malaysia then FINISH LIAO LAH. Then no more anchor tenants in our country liao lah !"
Another relatively new breed are the "fuck the government up" writers who actually dare to question or even *gasp* criticise the gahmen itself. Of course those that you actually see in print are the more subdued ones , you don't think letters with headings such as "EH NABEH PARLIAMENT SIAO SI BO ??!" getting printed.
Wu Ji Lang says : I am writing in because I would like more transparency from the government. The annual budget alone is not enough to justify everything.
Spokesman for all the big shots says : The government has decided to revoke your citizenship and you shall be sent to spend your life in exile in Siberia with Chee Soon Juan with effect from now.
And then there's the morbidly health-conscious/paranoid writer. A good example can be found in today's ST forum regarding how fertilisers can be made into bombs.
DAMN FUNNY LA DEY !
I mean , i understand his concern but the thing is , if a person really has malicious intent to harm , just about every item can be made into a weapon. Why go through the hassle of extracting the whatever chemical from the fertiliser and to mix it up with some expensive catalyst when you can buy guns online or simply just use a knife or parang or what-have-you.
Concerned Resident says : I applaud the recent measures taken by the authorities to curb Aedes mosquitoes breeding but i feel that the most effective way is to evacuate the residents to an enclosed area and doing away with drains and canals forever. After all , what is flooding compared to a dengue epidemic ?
And very commonly, those ultra super long-winded monologues from scholars , lawyers or retirees that serves no apparent purpose except to prove how intellectual they are or to do some public bootlicking ( shameless whores , they are )
A*star scholar , RI alumni says : I am a President's scholar currently enrolled in the very prestigious Oxford university from which i have been awarded with double degrees in Political Science and Sociology summa cum laude , and is still studying for my PhD in the same fields.
I note with interest the recent spate of political ongoings in my motherland , revolving mainly around the controversial presidential elections ( or rather, non-elections ) which ended with His Excellency being granted a second term . To this i congratulate our president with much respect because he has proved in so many ways of his unwavering dedication to our country.
Being a distinguised political student has allowed me to view things from a higher perceptive and with a bird's eye view of the political scene in Singapore , i safely conclude that we have one of the most flawless and efficient governments in the world. Not only we are spared from monstrosities such as repression or treason plaguing the other countries , we [ message truncated due to length ].
There are just so many more characters waiting to be uncovered , but i'm too laxy to flip through the older papers la. I will address the issue of why "Ang-mohs get better service" in my next post. That coming from your friendly coffee server ( ME ) , i can guarantee you an unbiased commentary.
And oh , i've got a new part time job !!
I'm going to church later , for the first time in eons I'll be attending City Harvest's evening service with my best friend so you can bet yr life that i will definitely do a write up about CHC since i was deeply traumatised the last time i went there ( about 1 year ago ) .
Take care , y'all.
