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of women and sex
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Last night Keithf and I chatted online and even though it started off with a innocuous question regarding airfare , we ended up discussing sex like always.

I told him i feel that i was afraid to let anyone touch me not because i wanted to remain chaste nor keep to my vow of "saving it for the wedding night" ( which is all but a scam , really ! ) but because i was afraid of myself.

I was afraid that once i don't have anything more to be protective over , i would lose a rein on myself and will start , to put it crudely , fuck around.

Because i can , because i am that sort of person.

For now , only in my wildest dreams can i have a one night stand in someone's car , someone whose name is "hey".

Because i've always been a person who believes that one should always make the best of his youth , i might take my belief a little extremely because once you have lost your attraction as a nubile young lady , than maybe you will never know how it would feel like to have a no-strings-attached kind of sex.

I know its wrong to think that way but i like to live my life dangerously.

Another reason why i flinch and back away whenever someone tries to get close is because i know very well that you men ( assholes ! ) tend to misinterpret signs , that the slight gasp from her when you nuzzled her neck means that she is horny.

Not true.

I don't know how to explain it but skin to skin contact always feels nice , and not always in a sexual way. I liked being touched and cuddled , because it makes me feel loved. And not because i want to fuck the brains out of you ( well , sometimes... )

I don't know about the rest but i find it a big turn-on ( and flattering ) to have someone tell you that you turn him on .... and it shows .

:D

Okay i digress.

But i like it best when the simplest of actions such as holding hands is able to cause a big reaction in me , sometimes i can actually feel myself blushing , trying to contain the sudden urge to skip in joy and to plant a big wet one on his lips whenever i look down to see my small hand encapsulated in his.

And nothing , absolutely nothing , can feel better than that.

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listenin to : death cab for cutie - transalanticism