orgasmic hamsters

orgasmic hamsters

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

--
sobering up
--

I looked into the mirror and saw my mother , even though i am like the female doppelganger of my father.

I miss my mother so much , i wish she would call me more often.

Once every few months just isn't enough.

I wonder what would have happened if from the very beginning my mother got hold of my custody ( impossible because she was 20 , young , reckless ,rebellious and a party animal. like me. )

My dad , always sullen and brooding. Never replies when spoken to despite repeated attempts.

My mother , always laughing her bitchy laugh. Full of endless enthusiasm.

Just like me.

My dad : "You look like a fucking slut wearing that"

My mother : "I have that top too , you know !"

Just like me.

My dad , the workaholic.

My mother , the overaged zoukette with ants in her pants.

Just like me.

My dad . Always condescending and insulting. "Don't fucking stay here and bother me. Why can't you move out and stay with your mother ?" , "don't be so cheap like your mother"

Like your mother.

Well , fuck you. Don't insult my mother.

She used to be your wife after all.

My mother. Always so nice . "Remember , never let boys take advantage of you okay ?"

Been saying that since i was 12 , and she is still at it.

I'd flip through the family album sometimes and my heart aches whenever i see my mom , as young as me , cradling a fat red-faced baby in her arms and a milk bottle in one hand.

She was so young , how could one expect her to be endure such a burden when her peers were attending tea parties and dancing to Banarama ?

She was so young , and my dad's 12 years her senior. How did their marriage survive two years ?

Every trait i own today , were from my mother.

From my habit of going bra-less at home ( i remember once my mom was piercing my ears for me when i was in primary 6 , she leaned over and my face was literally being cupped between her ample cleavage because she was wearing a low-cut singlet. Unfortunately i did not inherit her heaving bosom. Whaddafuck ? ) , to my relaxed stance towards dating. My mother used to say , date all you want , but respect your body.

I listened. I'm glad i did.

My mother was a pretty lass in her time. Why the hell did she make the mistake of marrying my unworthy dad ??

Sure , my dad was pretty well endowed in the looks department , fortunately. But their characters were as similar as anal sex is to abstinence.

So why oh why.

I think my dad selectively mute , because when he is with his girlfriend , he suddenly becomes as eloquent as David Letterman.

But whenever i try to talk to him , my presence is as significant as a breeze.

And he is rude. I cannot stand rude people. Take this phone conversation for example

Me : Dad , is there any bread at home ?

Dad : Where the fuck are you ?

Me : At grandma's place lah.. So is there any bread at home ?

Dad : Don't fucking lie to me !

Me : Really lah ! You can call me back if you are so doubtful.. So is there any bread at home ?

Dad : Fuck you !

Me : What !?! Can you just tell me if there is any bread at home ?

Dad : *CLICK*

My cousin was laughing his ass off listening to our conversation , and he still finds it humorous enough to talk about it every now and then. Of course i didn't see the humour in it. In fact i was hopping mad at my dad's blatant lack of manners.

Actually i'm supposed to be mugging for my papers tomorrow , but i missed my mother suddenly and hence decided to blog about it.

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I know , my middle finger looks like a dick between four fingers. But hey ! I'm a writer , NOT an artist :p


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The girls ! Xin , me and Pei. Muahhh ! I love you all.

--

listening to : Sigur Ros - se lest

Next up : Frankie J - Don't wanna try

Okay i shall put up my playlist for tonight which consists of 10 songs , two abovementioned

3) Darren Hayes - Insatiable

4) DJ Shadow - Organ Donor

5) Deathcab for cutie - Photobooth

6) Metropolitan Jazz Affair - Moanin' Darkness

7) Erykah Badu - Back in the day

8) Mazzy Star - Fade into you

9) Suede - The beautiful ones

10) Franz Ferdinand - Take me out

 

the writer

fiona

20

singaporean

writer

Links

 

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