--
sobering up
--
I looked into the mirror and saw my mother , even though i am like the female doppelganger of my father.
I miss my mother so much , i wish she would call me more often.
Once every few months just isn't enough.
I wonder what would have happened if from the very beginning my mother got hold of my custody ( impossible because she was 20 , young , reckless ,rebellious and a party animal. like me. )
My dad , always sullen and brooding. Never replies when spoken to despite repeated attempts.
My mother , always laughing her bitchy laugh. Full of endless enthusiasm.
Just like me.
My dad : "You look like a fucking slut wearing that"
My mother : "I have that top too , you know !"
Just like me.
My dad , the workaholic.
My mother , the overaged zoukette with ants in her pants.
Just like me.
My dad . Always condescending and insulting. "Don't fucking stay here and bother me. Why can't you move out and stay with your mother ?" , "don't be so cheap like your mother"
Like your mother.
Well , fuck you. Don't insult my mother.
She used to be your wife after all.
My mother. Always so nice . "Remember , never let boys take advantage of you okay ?"
Been saying that since i was 12 , and she is still at it.
I'd flip through the family album sometimes and my heart aches whenever i see my mom , as young as me , cradling a fat red-faced baby in her arms and a milk bottle in one hand.
She was so young , how could one expect her to be endure such a burden when her peers were attending tea parties and dancing to Banarama ?
She was so young , and my dad's 12 years her senior. How did their marriage survive two years ?
Every trait i own today , were from my mother.
From my habit of going bra-less at home ( i remember once my mom was piercing my ears for me when i was in primary 6 , she leaned over and my face was literally being cupped between her ample cleavage because she was wearing a low-cut singlet. Unfortunately i did not inherit her heaving bosom. Whaddafuck ? ) , to my relaxed stance towards dating. My mother used to say , date all you want , but respect your body.
I listened. I'm glad i did.
My mother was a pretty lass in her time. Why the hell did she make the mistake of marrying my unworthy dad ??
Sure , my dad was pretty well endowed in the looks department , fortunately. But their characters were as similar as anal sex is to abstinence.
So why oh why.
I think my dad selectively mute , because when he is with his girlfriend , he suddenly becomes as eloquent as David Letterman.
But whenever i try to talk to him , my presence is as significant as a breeze.
And he is rude. I cannot stand rude people. Take this phone conversation for example
Me : Dad , is there any bread at home ?
Dad : Where the fuck are you ?
Me : At grandma's place lah.. So is there any bread at home ?
Dad : Don't fucking lie to me !
Me : Really lah ! You can call me back if you are so doubtful.. So is there any bread at home ?
Dad : Fuck you !
Me : What !?! Can you just tell me if there is any bread at home ?
Dad : *CLICK*
My cousin was laughing his ass off listening to our conversation , and he still finds it humorous enough to talk about it every now and then. Of course i didn't see the humour in it. In fact i was hopping mad at my dad's blatant lack of manners.
Actually i'm supposed to be mugging for my papers tomorrow , but i missed my mother suddenly and hence decided to blog about it.
http://artpad.art.com/artpad/painter/
I know , my middle finger looks like a dick between four fingers. But hey ! I'm a writer , NOT an artist :p
The girls ! Xin , me and Pei. Muahhh ! I love you all.
--
listening to : Sigur Ros - se lest
Next up : Frankie J - Don't wanna try
Okay i shall put up my playlist for tonight which consists of 10 songs , two abovementioned
3) Darren Hayes - Insatiable
4) DJ Shadow - Organ Donor
5) Deathcab for cutie - Photobooth
6) Metropolitan Jazz Affair - Moanin' Darkness
7) Erykah Badu - Back in the day
8) Mazzy Star - Fade into you
9) Suede - The beautiful ones
10) Franz Ferdinand - Take me out
