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horrors!
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Before heading out for yet another day out with B , i stole a glance into the kitchen and saw my aunt with cling wrap wrapped around her eyes to prevent tearing as she chopped onions.

I asked incredulously

"What the hell ? You paid 1k to come here and toil in the kitchen ?!"

She turned around , eyes red from the onion fumes.

"Yah lor , your uncle likes to eat home-cooked food mah.."

Then she smiled a smile so genuine that it could only come from the heart. I fought the urge to throw up.

She went on

"Your uncle is alone at home most of the year and as his wife i want to make sure that during the brief period we get to be together that he gets good home-cooked instead of takeaways.."

I shrugged and went out to meet B , who was already waiting outside in his car.

Sure , if i was someone's wife , i would definitely would want my husband to have the best and i have a duty to ensure that it happens , and vice versa.

Hell , i might not even get married and remain a bed-hopper all my life but in the unlikely event that i tie the knot , i cannot imagine myself playing the role of a domesticated wife.

Or in a chinese degradatory phrase , the "Huang Lian Po"

I have cooked and did household chores for the guys i have dated before. As much as i'd hate to admit it , the little woman in me felt an uncanny warmth emancipating from my insides .. An unexplained toe-curling bliss knowing that i had done something to make him happy.

I still can remember the time when xxx came over to my place for a simple home-cooked fare of porridge , steamed fish and tofu. Simply by standing by the stove , stirring the porridge as he sat a few feet away at the dining table waiting for dinner , i couldn't help breaking into a silly grin.. away from his eyes of course.

Then , i never felt so loved as he came up from behind to give me a hug as i washed the dishes. He knew how much i hated washing dishes and despite his firm offers to help , i refused. I don't know why either , i just desperately wanted to do something.

As if the sole purpose of my existence was to slave for him.

But then again those were purely isolated incidents. Its like eating ice cream. Too much of it and it makes you sick.

Women from previous generations were housewifes not by choice , but by circumstances. Men from then fell automatically into the "breadwinner" category and women , housewifes of course.

So many roles to play. A mother , a cook , a caring wife , and by night , a bolster. I say that because it wasn't a woman's prerogative to refuse sex in the past. No cliched excuses , nothing. And i am darned sure that most of our grandmothers never had an orgasm before because sex back then was purely recreational and it was a wham-bam-thank-you-mam affair where only men derieved pleasure from.

Okay i digress.

Perhaps i say that domestication scares the shit out of me because i am still entertaining juvenile thoughts.

And the juvenile in me is still very much commitment-phobic.

But the rebel in me says , why give up a life that knows no limit to be tied down getting scalded by straying streaks of hot oil in the kitchen and running after the kids with greasy hair plastered to your face ?

I say.. Why marry someone as narrow-minded ?

The man i would marry in the future might freak out at the idea of a menage-a-trois ( maybe not the the third party was a hot slut and not a chippendale dancer with tight abs) , but he's definitely not going to be one whose idea of a good wife is one who cooks and washes well , and whose legs are constantly spread open , always ready for a fuck.

If so , the wedding vow should go

[Groom's name], do you take [Bride's name] to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage.
Do you promise to fuck her , beat her, abuse her and enslave her
At your own discretion , at any time or place
And forsaking all others, be faithful only to her only when you feel like it
So long as you both shall live?

[Bride's name], do you take [Groom's name] to be your wedded husband to live together in marriage
Do you promise to cook for him, get shut out from the outside world for him , bear his children and lose your figure for him
For ever and ever and ever
And forsaking all others, be faithful only to him and worship him
So long as you both shall live?

But of course love posseses a force so insanely powerful that it fucks the mind of all who falls under its spell.

So much that i wouldn't be surprised if i looked at myself in the mirror 10 years later from now wearing a faded "Singapore is a fine city" tee with pureed carrot stains and an bawling infant in my hands..

And sighing .. in pleasure. About how wonderful my life is.

*shudders*

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listening to : sugarcult-memory