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men are from confused land , women are from fickle land
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My computer mysteriously rose from the dead as i absent-mindedly tried to switched it on last night , and WALLAH~ the boot-up beep from the CPU never sounded so sweet.

Anyway i'm not gonna take the risk and turn off my computer again for a long time until i get a new laptop and the files in my hard disk saved.

So bloody happy that my body clock is finally readjusting itself. I can now sleep at more humane hours like 12am and wake up at 10. That is , until the party-goer in me stirs itself awake and drags me by the ear to clubs. Or until my classes start again , but that'll only happen in Jan.

Caught Zathura with Tre last night despite being seriously jet-lagged. You owe me one , man.

On the drive home we debated about sex as usual ( because we're very sexual creatures lol ) and i came up with a lame-ass theory of virginity being purely psychological since there is no sure way of proving a person's a virginity , even for women as the hymen can be easily reconstructed these days. Come to think of it , we can only take a person's word for it.

For e.g , a virgin has sex with a woman in a totally inebriated state and conveniently ( and sadly ) cleanly forgets about the incident.

So ( lets assume the woman disappears after the one night stand ) , he is still a virgin as far as he or anyone around him knows. Which not true of course since he already had sex , except that he is just unable to recall.

Okay this is totally bullshit. Oh well , food for thought anyway.

The age-old saying has it that women are extremely fickle-minded , stuck in a constant confused state etc etc. Well , let me refute the claim by adding that MEN ( esp those SNAGs ) are guilty of the abovementioned as well.

They sigh when you tell them that you'll have to skip tonight's movie date as you forgot that one of your good friends is having her birthday celebrations.

Then they'll send you on a guilt-trip by asking "so.. your good friend is more important than me huh ?"

If you ask me , that sounds more like an ultimatum with an underlying message.

And boy do they love giving ultimatums.

I really hate it when guys go like "come and meet me if you miss me , if not then its okay.." whenever i ask if my presence is really necessary , like to a dinner gathering with his sec school friends or his friend's chalet or etc.

Like wtf ?!

Of course i can always play the meanie and not give a fuck but thats not the point i'm trying to prove here.

The strategy is more like emotional blackmail or discreet manipulation.

And then i always have to mull about it for a long time before giving an answer because

1) If i do go , he'll have the idea that i'm going because i want to see him , which may not be the case. And even if i do , i certainly don't want him to know about how i feel ( because i'm a nasty person who doesn't believe in premature happiness hahaha )

2) And if i don't , he'll sulk and moan and groan and whine that i'm a heartless baddie etc.

For point 1) , you may say that i can always agree to go AND emphasise on the fact that i'm not going because i miss him BUT that'll definitely lead to point 2's scenario.

Which means that the question is a paradox.

Which means it sucks.

Which means that you should NEVER use it , i don't care if you're a guy or a girl.

A person from my not-too-distant past is slowly making his way back into my life again , and this time he's back with a vengeance.

I don't know what he wants , despite repeated claims of him missing me and the usual mushy works.

I admit , after such a long hiatus , i do think of him sometimes but its still in its infancy stages.

Whatever that had happened between us a couple of months ago has been extremely tumultuous , stopping just a whisker's breadth away from being dramatic.

And yes , i played the villain , breaking his heart and stuff.

This time round i feel i am ready to give him a chance but his words don't seem to match his actions.

I tried to probe about his intentions discreetly but he gave me a cryptic answer which i am unable to decipher ( and i am really upset because i've always thought myself to be a clever decoder of human emotions and a general smartass ) . He something like "This time i'm going to take the slow approach.. The last time i was too hasty and scared the girl ( me ) away "

Yeah it is slow alright.

He thinks its working .

I'd hate to break your bubble , but its not.

It just gives me the overall impression that you're just making a fool out of me by not replying my messages or giving me excuses whenever i tried to ask you out for coffee and then suddenly taking a 360 turn by saying how much you hve missed me and stuff.

Or asking me out when you know jolly well i am busy and then going "see , you don't even care anyway"

Sorry my friend , i may find wit and intellect a big turn-on but this is just NOT it.

I don't like silly mind games at all. Neither do i enjoy looking desperate.

I am desperate only to let you know that , if nothing comes out of these soon , my patience would have run out.

And one last case to prove that men are confused little lambs as well.

Another guy , L , whom i ever so gently turned down a week ago suddenly messaged me a simple "hi" last night online.

You might brush it off as nothing , but then i couldn't help but question his motives when his nickname was " oOo L loves CinDy oOo a nevEr-enDing love stoRy oOo "

Wow , good for you man. You handle rejection very well , so well that you've fallen in love again within a few days.

And of course with his nickname looking like ( wtf is oOo ?!!! xXx ?! an online intepretation of book-ends ?! its not cute at all ) that i'm sure you know why i didn't fancy him.lol.

Okay lah , i'm on getting on your nerves.

And this concludes my first real post after sucha long time. wo0t.

Aright time to head to the hospital.

okay bye

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listening to : jay chou - feng