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things guys ( girls too ) should take note of
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I'm no fashionista but i guess i have a keen dress sense at least.
Do take note !
Especially if you want to ask me out ( sadly , none ).
1) Not taking the effort to smell nice
Or even worse , smell bad. Its not going to kill you to invest in a small bottle of perfume and deodorant. Of all the guys i've dated so far , all of them was nose-pleasing , thank god. And i could associate them with how they smell.
2) Wearing shirts that are too long
I don't see why you should buy a top that looks like pyjamas on you. Long sleeves should be cuff-linked instead of rolled up during formal dates. My dad used to do it until i got him ( grudgingly ) a nice pair of silver cufflinks from Raoul. And now he has more than 6 pairs. Raoul's pretty affordable by the way. If you're feeling opulent ( if that's the case you may also call me ) , then go for it at Zegna.
3) Wearing polo tees ( or even worse , button-down shirts ) with their collars up
It unfortunately only serves to make you look like you're trying too hard instead of suave.
4) Not shaving ( with exceptions to goatees )
Me , cave-man !
5) Tees with explicit/offending captions on them
Not only does "Fuck You" make you look like a walking poster-boy for turn-offs , such trends are incredibly passe too. Wait ,was it even a trend in the first place ? Let me think..
No.
6) Shoes maketh an outfit
I don't care if you're wearing an awesome Bape tee and sculptured Diesel jeans if whats on your feet are your well-worn pair of And1 basketball sneakers. Hell no. Neither am i going to be impressed if you're wearing your military New Balance sneakers. Or that smelly old heap you hit the gym with.
Don't even think about buying that $40 pair of Nike dunks. Seriously.. $40 ? If a non-discerning Nike person like me can suss out a fake , so can the rest. $40 is not a bargain , its a fake. Its as fake as Anna Nicole Smith's titties.
7) Clean teeth
I get really anal about oral hygiene. I have seen people with teeth so caked with built-up plague that it looks as if someone smeared greyish yellow plasticine on them. Not to mention the ultra funky breath that goes hand in hand.
Look , if i could subject myself to sheer torture every morning and before i go out by gargling with a capful of horrid Listerine ( which makes my mouth numb and my lips sausagified) , so can you.
8) Disgusting accesories
If i could vote for worst trend for 2005 , it'll have to be the icky rubber wrist band. I don't give a fuck if yours is a nice psychedelic colour of purple and green swirled together or the "original" Livestrong . Its just damn gay.
Accesories like sweat bands and chunky metallic pendants will have to be shoved too.
9) Tight-fitting shirts
Not even if you have a physique to die for. Especially NOT if you have man-boobs.
10) Folded jeans
Its okay if its folded discreetly but NEVER more than 1.5 inches nor rolled up more than once. Why , can't afford to get it altered at a tailor's ? Then don't wear it. This is even more serious for girls . That gorgeous Miss Sixty jeans ain't gonna work if its folded.
Tip for girls : Either you do not fold it ( please , it only costs $5 to get it shortened ) , or you roll it up all the way until it becomes a capri. However it stays only if your jeans are straight-cut or it'll come undone.
11) Slippers
WHY ? WHY !?!!!!
If you thought jeans with slippers is bad , how about jeans with lelong slippers ? ( Trail ! urghhh )
If you really have to , please , get a decent pair from Project Shop or Havainas ( i have 4 pairs now ! ) and then match it with berms.
12) Fabric belts
The surfer-dude look with one end of a fabric belt hanging loose is so ten seasons ago. Stop it. Please.
13) The don't-you-think-my-ipod-is-cool look
To my disgust i have seen people hanging their Ipods around their necks like a badge of coolness. What.The.Fuck.
14) Imma P-I-M-P !
There was once when my good friend met up with us in a COMPLETELY white outfit , from his white old-school sneakers to his white porter bag. I don't know what went through his head because his usually dope dress sense had failed him.
I think the only okay colour is the all-black outfit. Any other colour and you'll just look like one of those guys in a boyband singing in a cheesy MTV.
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I guess thats all for now.. I have grandpa duty today. I think i'll help him shave when he wakes up later.
Girl's version coming up soon ! =)
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listening to : goldfrapp - ooh la la ( if only they played this in Zouk last night ! )
