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attack of the male ego !
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they say the female mind is hard to comprehend , but i say the male ego is one big international mystery altogether !

being someone female with quite a few male friends , i consider myself top authority on dissecting the male ego because the number one fact about male egos is , it only shows up ONLY in the company of females.

some guys ( or rather , most ) have this unfortunately eluded impression that their supposedly masculine behaviour will have us weak-kneed and kissing the path that they tread on ( and a blowjob at night ) but the truth cannot be any further away from that.

sure , gestures like offering to pay for dinner or shielding you from the maddening crowd during peak hours are definite pluses which will get you into the good books of girls , but i'm not talking about basic etiquette here.

take this for example.

it was during Jun's birthday a couple of months back and we were having at Marche and at my insistence he finally relented to allow me to foot the bill. while walking towards the cashier counter Jun suddenly stopped.

"eh... i think.. you better give me the cash first.."

"wuh ??"

i craned my head to look at the 6" tall giant and raised my eyebrow

"aiyah.. looks nicer that way mah"

i had to ponder for a second before realising that what he was meant was , he did not want the cashier to know that i was paying for dinner and thats why he wants me to pass him the cash first.

i couldn't help but chuckle to myself at Jun , and concluded that his ego is bigger than his frame.

and then there are the more irritating ones.

let's take W for example. the fitness fanatic who goes for 10 km runs every other day to test his endurance.

i went out with him a few weeks ago and we happened to pass by the super gay california fitness gym at somerset and the "display cabinet" where only the fittest of the fit dare to run on the treadmill there because it looks out onto the busy street.

as always , the usual slew of heads-smaller-than-body men were sweating their guts out and i commented softly

"wah.. so muscular. gross."

my insignificant comment was like the cue for Z to suddenly pull up his sleeve , which he did.

"i also have!"

then right there at the traffic lights in front of everyone else he flexed his arm and urged me to

"go on , touch it !"

WTF!??!!!!!!!!??

i shrugged weakly and said something like "no need to feel lah , can tell its nice.."

he grins and proceeds to flex his arm some more.

"see , my little mouse says hi !"

*facepalm*

at this point of time i was very very very tempted to give him the finger flip and tell him to stop his crap right now cus' it isn't impressing me but of course i did not and went about with my own way of shutting him up - by diverting his attention.

"i also got mouse.. just that its a baby mouse yea ?"

i flexed my arm too ( where not surprisingly nothing showed up ) and he burst into uncontrollable laughter and heng ah , it also made him pull down his sleeve.

it has actually happened a few times before , guys showing off their muscles to me and never once was i even vaguely interested.

speaking of which..



i think guys who post such pictures of themselves online should be sent to exile in Siberia , regardless of nicely buffed he is.

some of the more common male-ego-rearing-its-ugly-head situations includes -

1- a murderous stare from the guy whenever someone tries to check his female companion out followed by a comment like "what the fuck , did you see the way he was looking at you!?"

2- boastful or "tua kang"behaviour in the hope of impressing the girls during a group outing.

guy A : wah that Skyline damn chio hor..

guy B : nice meh ? a few years ago i drove that until i got into accident then ah i decided to get a cheaper car like Lancer just in case really kena accident again.

there was once vivid incident during X's birthday where J , the biggest tua-kang in the world , threw a $10 tip to the waitress after footing the bill. instead of ooh-ing and ahh-ing over his generosity , i ( and the rest of the girls i'm sure ) was thoroughly revolted at his pompousness.

of course the word "ego" is a very loose term so please do not try and rebuke me by tellin me about the Freudian concept of "Egos".

i have so many ego incidents to share but because its still so damn early my mind isn't functioning yet.

lastly...

i really detest it when people in the service line assume that your friend's your boyfriend.

like yesterday , i was with M to buy tickets at the box office at Cineleisure.

the box office cashier was friendly enough but i froze when she happily asked

"how about couple seats for the both of you?!"

i didn't even dare to look at M so i just smiled awkwardly and shook my head and we both said "just the normal seats" at the same time

why don't they rename the seats to be more single-friendly like "retractable armrest seats ?!"

i think the name "couple seats" itself is damn tacky and overglamourised. makes it sound as if the seats come with something extra like scattered rose petals or that it emits lavender fumes from when all that it really does it to let a couple rest on each other more comfortably , a belief that i have since proven wrong because i have done that before even on a supposedly non-couple-friendly seat , and with much ease too !

but this particular salesgirl at FCUK will have to take the cake.

i was trying out a top and i came out to seek P's opinion when the salesgirl chirped loudly

"you look nice in it ! i'm sure your boyfriend will like it !"

i blushed and just smiled and P politely said that "oh i'm not his boyfriend.."

instead of being embarrassed , the cheerful salesgirl looked shocked

"oh really ?! but you two look so perfect with each other !!"

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listening to : deathcab for cute - photobooth