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obituary
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in memory of my lost innocence.

days when i never had to worry about my increasing reliance on alchohol. when i could sleep without the mandatory dosage of vodka.

when i never had to worry about when my period was due; instead jubilating whenever it was late so i could a few more days of pad-free happiness

when i never sat stoned on bus journeys and missing my destination on purpose just so i could have a few more moments with myself and my ipod.

when i never had to worry about my future; when will i ever land the coveted internship with a reputable publisher ?

when i never had to fret incessantly about mortality and the frailty of life. why do we have to die ? does it hurt more to know about your own prognosis or that of those dear to you ? i'd say the latter.

when i never had to worry if my friends loved me.

when i never had to doubt the person i loved. ( d was once married)

when i never had to worry if the person i loved was the person i loved.

i like d. i like him because we have so much in common. i like him because he's so nonchalent. i like him because he knows what he wants. i like him because he's as sarcastic as me.

but we're seperated by a 17 year age gap. which is alot if you ask me. and a whole lot of of mistrust on my part. i can't help but wonder if he's in the arms of some foreign chick whenever he's away. and i'm really holding back the urge to ransack his closets for discriminating evidence.