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my fault
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about the argument i had with david just now, well, things are kinda resolved for now. i guess it was a volatile cocktail of fatigue and the fact that my maternal grandma passed away made me really irritable and i flared up at him over his supposed increasing nonchalence.
ever since he came back from a 4 day working trip on thurs, i haven't seen him due to our work commitments. not only he didn't even attempt to make use of the little free time we have to meet up, when we had the whole day free today he actually preferred goin to Comex alone than asking me along and replying "i'm going home soon, you can drop by if you want" when i asked. which i think its highly insincere. i tried to pick a fight with him but i guess his years of maturity ( and a big deal of patience ) held him back from arguing with me and i felt really silly after waking up from a nap, refreshed and realising how rash i had been.
anyway. even though its all okay on the surface for now i know that the foundation has been shaken and we're not going to last for much longer. and the thought of it saddens me. i hope i'm not falling for him for many reasons, the biggest being i am still totally clueless about how he really feels about me. and
1) he has a moderately paunchy stomach. hairy too.
2) he is away at least once every two weeks for up to few days
2) he leaves dishes unwashed for days, weeks even in the sink
4) he doesn't comb his hair
5) he has zero sense of fashion in him. he actually wore this hideous combi of a red tee and green khaki pants once to town with me. AND he never irons his clothes. to think that he's dating a fashion writer. i can't bear to correct his dressing because i know he'll find it a drag.
6) he thinks that my profession is a joke and that magazines/fashion are pretentious nothings.
7) he is unfunny.
8) he is your typical brash american with the i-know-what-i-want-and-you-damn-well-give-it-to-me attitude which often rears its ugly head in restaurents because he wants nothing less than the best service etc.
9) his ex wife is a model-esque hot blonde and among his ex-girlfriends include an FHM pin-up girl.
10) he doesn't change the sheets despite countless reminders. every stain on it is a memory. ha! gross.
11) he doesn't smell ( thank god ) but he doesn't smell nice either since he doesn't use perfume. a big minus.
12) he is a racist. which is really ironic since he is half asian and he is dating an asian.
but despite all of these i find myself thinking about him every other nano-second. i don't know if its because he just happens to be there to fill this void mark left, or that i genuinely like him. sigh. i haven't seen him in a week already.
anyway finally caught the devil wears prada. trust me man i think its really exaggerated and blown to epic disproportions but then again of course our tiny magazine circulation is nothing compared to the millions commanded by U.S vogue/ cosmopolitan etc etc.
i'm so sleepy now after spending the day at the grandma's wake. never really got to know her since i only see her only once a year during chinese new year but i kinda miss this jolly grandmother i never spoke to ( she speaks only cantonese ). tomorrow is the 5th day of the funeral, which is the day of the cremation. just by thinking about it reminds me of my beloved grandpa and i know i'll definitely break down at the crematorium. i miss my grandpa =(
and now to bed i go.
