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qwerty ( bimbotic irrelevant AND whiney post )
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no wonder they say the female species are an enigma. i am unable to fathom how my ultra feminine mind works sometimes.
as you all know i sort of broke up with david. well i say sort of because there wasn't any concrete relationship established to begin with, we simply plunged into things without knowing where we were headed. i told him to fuck off ( in a less crude way of course. hey i'm civilised most of the time ! ) my life a few days ago and it seems to me it didn't really bothered him much though he did ask me to wait till he gets back from his working trip to talk, twice. but i ignored both his messages.
and now it has been three days since his last sms and i'm beginning to get irritated. is he for real ? you mean he's not going to try to persuade me to go back to him? and now i'm beginning to get irritated with MYSELF for being irritated with him because i was the one who requested the "break-up", and i was the one who ignored him. and come to think of i'm actually not affected by it in anyway but it's my ego that has taken some form of abuse since he's not even attempting to baby me. right, what the fuck am i saying.
okay maybe enigmatic's the wrong word. perhaps paradoxical is more fitting.
and then today i worked myself into a high listening to mariah carey yodel "all i want for christmas is youuuuuuuu!". YES i know its a little premature to listen to that but whenever i listen to that song, i go into auto-fantasize mode. i'll start dreaming about a christmassy romance with all the dramatic details like an embrace in the middle of a snow-covered street or some shit like that.
and somehow today i started day-dreaming about a winter holiday with mark in london, with some out-of-this-world scenes like him us having hot impromptu sex in the plane, us huddled together in front of a huge opulent fireplace ( now where did that fireplace come from ), him proposing to me at the stroke of christmas in a happy boisterous pub ( and OF COURSE the crowd bursts into cheers when i tearfully accept his proposal )
no it gets even more ridiculous, listen.
then fast-forward 6 months later i realise i'm pregnant and mark is delirious with joy, holding me and kissing my stomach. we move to his hometown and settles in a small but cosy house in brisbane. i give birth to a pair of gorgeous brown-eyed twins. Chloe Anne Robinson and Kyle James Robinson ( hahahahah!! nice names huh? ). cheesy? I KNOW.
by the way, mark is the only person i've dated before who is genuinely into children. i think about the way he tries to convince into having his kids and i smile.
seriously, men nowadays are so commitment-phobic that the mere mention of kids gets them worried. no, they don't even joke about having kids the way mark does because they're afraid we might start entertaining funny ideas.
woo all these in the space of one song. really, fiona. and you're not even in love with mark. the problem with being single is that when you have no one to fantasize about, your thoughts turn to just about anyone. just yesterday ryan star had his hands all over me and earlier on in the morning it was jay chou who confessed his love.
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listening to : suede - beautiful ones ( HIGH ON DIESEL AND GASOLINE, BABY ! )
