orgasmic hamsters

orgasmic hamsters






Thursday, August 31, 2006


work has been great. excellent even ! however its not so great when you're being constantly surrounded by pretty clothes and at every photo shoot the girls and i will definitely pick something up and coo over it.

"awwww this dress is SO CUTE!"

"ahhh i am already over my spending limit this month ! oh my god how much does this cost ??"

less than a week into my job and i already have my eye on a pair of shoes and a dress. save me ! i've done alot of running around sourcing for stuff for our photoshoots and i got it worst when i had to look for 12 pairs of shoes and poor me had to potter around balancing 5 huge paper bags. i must have looked like a high-maintenence girl to onlookers ! needless to say i suffered from excruciating muscle aches the following morning.

but then again, today i got to oil the bodies of our male models today ( after much fighting among us hahaha ) goodness, young nubile male bodies all tight and hard. hahaha. what a refreshing change from d's hairy and loose tummy. LOL.

i want to highlight how atrocious the behaviour of some singaporeans can be. two took place today. i urgently had to borrow a pair of strappy heels for a shoot and because i couldn't borrow from the bigger chains such as Topshop ( we needed to call in advance ), i had to settle for the dodgier stores in Parkway Parade ( as the shoot location was in marine parade ). they stocked up only on really ugly shoes. think chunky platforms studded with multicolour diamantes. but because i was SO desperate i went into this store and picked out the most decent pair i could find. it was definitely not photo-shoot standard but really, beggars cannot be choosers.

so i went up to the sales assistant confidently and told her that i am from a magazine and that i need to borrow this pair for a photoshoot. now usually such small shops will be more than happy to comply because we give them free publicity. but this auntie with the bad rebond job and bell bottom jeans ( dotted with fake diamantes, what else ! ) gave me the once-over and coughed

"excuse me? what ? you want to borrow ????? where got such things"

i tried explaining to her in my faltering ( i stutter when i speak mandarin to mainlanders ) mandarin once again and gave her my namecard. she glanced at it, sniggered and said

"cannot. where can borrow things one ? siao. no no no."

then she turned away and ignored me. okay for one thing i guess i looked kinda dubious because i got caught in the rain and looked quite a sight with my windblown hair and damp clothes but HEY at least she could show some courtesy instead of treating me like some sort of joke.

i fought the urge to go up to her and say into her face

'okay fine, instead of getting featured i'm going to blast you for your repulsive customer service you XXXXX XXXXX'

damn knn lah. in the end thankfully i managed to borrow a pair from charles and keith.

and then the second incident happened in parkway parade as well.

i was buying tea for the team and i ordered 8 cups from the foodcourt. the moment the auntie behind me heard me say "8 cups", she immediately interuppted me with a pissed off expression

"wah 8 cups, so many ! give me first lah, i only one cup if not i waste my time"

without even waiting for my consent she went on to order, much to my ire already fueled on by the earlier incident.

if she had asked nicely, i would have gladly agreed. but i'm a paying customer and i damn well have the priority to order first, 8 cups or not.

i hate parkway parade. morning shoot tomorrow and its already 3am. I NEED SLEEEEEEP


Monday, August 28, 2006

the devil wears chloe paddington ( prada is soooo passe daaaahlings ) !

overheard at the office :

skinny advertising chick to skinny advertising ( and probably gay ) dude : wow, you're looking good recently huh ?

skinny advertising dude to skinny advertising chick : yeah, there's still a bit more here to go though! *pats non-existent tummy*

skinny advertising chick : mmm yes i know, i have that problem too. its the most stubborn part like, totally ! *rubs non-existent stomach with a rueful expression*

i have a feeling i am going to become the envy of the office.


Friday, August 25, 2006


the time now is 8.10pm on a friday night and yes i'm home. and boy for once i am not lamenting about being home on a friday night because i am thoroughly exhausted after chalking up a grand total of 5 hours worth of sleep in the past 48 hours. and why ? because i've suddenly got insomnia. hmm. weird. i think i'll be able to sleep really well tonight though because i'm so bloody tired.

the fatigue got so bad that i threw up after my salad lunch and felt nauseous the entire day.

so today i helped d out with a shoot for australia's channel 9 and it was heartwarming to be actually there. it was an interview with this man who was blinded 8 years ago in a chemical explosion and after going through a series of operations this man finally regained his sight in one eye. its such a nice change from the grim news of late. and his wife had stuck with him throughout those tumultuous years. awww.

speaking of news, for those of you homo ignoramusus out there, guess what.


yes, thats right ! we no longer have 9 planets in our solar system. so keep those old-school solar system maps under lock and key because they have become obsolete overnight and will become collector's items. hahaha.

apparently astronomers conferred and decided after many years of debate which started the day pluto was classified a planet, that pluto's irregular orbit and among a few other reasons too chim for my simple mind to comprehend meant that it shouldn't be considered a planet at all, just a super large piece of floating debris. so now the cosmic underdog is just, well , a dwarf planet. so much for memorising the solar system when i was in primary school.


i feel so blessed right now. heh. i'm absolutely delirious with joy because of a few reasons

1) i'll be starting work with Cleo magazine come monday as a fashion editorial intern =) it feels absolutely surreal to be working for a magazine you really like ! i know it sounds glamourous and all but i assure you, beneath the glitter are hard work and crazy deadlines. i'm going to make them promise to please please please let me be the interviewer should we ever get to interview jay chou or jude law !!

2) i'm with someone who adores me. yes that person is d. he upsets me sometimes especially during shoots because he gets so serious that he ignores me completely. like today i was moaning that i was starving during a live feed and he was deaf to my pitiful pleas. asshole. though we're still in the dating stage i feel that he is someone i can really depend on and relate to.

3) my best friends are finally having their holidays !! PARTY TIME !!!!!!

4) and i have been lovingly fed home-brewed birds nest soup twice a week for the past two months by my grandma because she was in the mood to spend and bought birds nest in bulk. anyways i think that birds nest are just redundant extravagance because i don't think its beneficial at all. its just protein !! but i like eating it lah.

i am so bloody sleepy. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. tmr d and i shall spend the day lounging about at his place, maybe swim for a few laps and simmer in the sauna. i love saunas though i am paranoid about losing weight there. hahaha.

i am a happy girl for now


Thursday, August 24, 2006

my eyes ! my eyes!

friendster is good. there's no denying i like friendster because it allows me to snoop on my friends and sometimes i would wander outside my circle of friends and look at stranger's profiles and wonder why i have such uncool friends. hahaha.

BUT occasionally i receive messages that make me wonder why, WHY WHY WHY such people still exist. they give friendster a bad name.

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i really feel like replying this dude. any suggestions ?

"hi vincent ! hee ! so hapi lehz see your msg ! moi ish 20 year diz year lohz, stil studyingz but ish actually slacking more neh.. hee ! enjoy music lor, like s.h.e and 5566 ! their music rawks can ? and i think 5566 so kawaii too *shy* you leh ? repli me soon okies ?? ^-^"


Tuesday, August 22, 2006


nicholas tan yongzheng is a piece of shit who would rather continue with his stupid gaming than to send his poor friend who is running late a file she really needs :p

and that file in question is... JAY CHOU'S NEW SONG !!!!

i'm listening to it for the first time now .. awesome !

all hail Jay ! all hail Jay !

trivia: idolising him actually helped me pass my O level chinese a couple years back.. although i just barely scraped a pass, without my fervent memorising of his lyrics during the peak of my obsession, i'd be at a loss as to what to write for my essay. THANK YOU JAY !!

okay i'm running late for my dinner date.. ciao !


Monday, August 21, 2006


despite having spent the whole day eating, i woke up at 5am to find my insatiable stomach growling. so i made myself two slices of cheese toast and iced milo.

then i saw it. a fat juicy cockcroach waltzing cross the kitchen doing the cockcroach samba.

now usually i'd leave them alone unlike my dad who derieves immense satisfaction in attacking them with a rolled up newspaper savagely because i don't really have the heart to kill ( ants definitely excluded but the most reliable way of removing them completely is to locate their nest and seal it )

but this time round i had to act because i wanted to eat in peace without wondering if the damn unwelcome guest was going to nibble at my toes so i took out the trusty Baygon and cornered it.

a few minutes later it lay on its back twitching uncontrollably. then i wondered

how the hell do pesticides work ??

i realised i didn't know and being someone who is constantly in search of enlightenment ( a.k.a noseyparker ) , i knew i couldnt sleep not knowing the answer so here i am. ah.. good ol' internet !!

and so here's a piece of trivia

"Insecticides work by causing the nerves to fire continuously. That in turn causes the muscles to contract uncontrollably. The constant muscle contraction causes the insect to die of exhauation."

bet you didn't know that eh !! which brings me to another question

if we had a life-sized aerosal spray can would it have the same effect on humans ? i doubt so though, since our skin isn't as porous as that of insects and probably won't be able to absorb the toxins. any budding ecologists have the answer because i have no idea how to phrase my question into the google search box. hahaha.

and now its 6am. yawn. projects to finish later and sigh, d is still in bangkok because of john mark karr. but now that the paedophile's back in the states d doesn't have to film him anymore so hopefully he'll be back this noon ! YEAH !


Sunday, August 20, 2006


at cc's chalet just now, a grand total of 4 ppl commented i look skinnier than ever before and though i refuse to believe it , i know its true. i haven't been eating well plus after that bout of viral infection when i literally thrived on porridge and multivitamin pills for almost a week.

so now i'm embarking on a new crash diet and this this i am fucking determined to stick to it and put on at least 2 kilos within a fortnight.

i'm going to force myself to eat ( shouldnt be a problem since my appetite has been pretty damn good and after that sickly diet i'm all set for a palette ticking time again ! ) and ensure that i have at least 5 egg whites/ 2 egg yolks and a carton of milk EVERYDAY. i'll mix my protein weight-gain formula with the milk. i never finished the protein formula i bought almost half a year back because it tasted like crap but i don't really have a choice.

and oh loads of carbo too. i love rice and bread so it's not really that hard!

wish me luck, my dear readers ( yes all three of you )

p.s : to those of you who thinks that i should feel blessed with such a crazy metabolism then you're wrong ! i used to weigh about 41 kg two months ago but now i'm back to 39 which is pathetic and my fat cheeks have lost some of their lustre.

okay its 5.30 am and i should be turning in.. more good food with the family tomorrow and d's coming back ! i miss that slob !


Saturday, August 19, 2006

the door bitch speaks

if i had my own club, not only it'll be a fantastic club spinning my style of music ( an eclectic mix of everything i like from tiesto to the postal service to old school techno ala solid base ! ) , and a ladies-only room so that they can party to their hearts content without getting preyed upon by leery desperados or worrying about letting loose and risk looking wild in front of the hunks.

and.. get this ! there will NO alchohol served at MY club. instead, there will be "bong" stations located everywhere and for five dollars a pop you get to inhale the sweet sweet smoke for two minutes, which is equivalant to about two shots of tequila AND i don't have to hire bartenders/dishwashers. hahahhaa. novel hor !!

and of course i'll do sentry duty and trust me i'll be a really menacing door bitch with all sorts of rules.

1) NO HIGH HEELS - seriously i'll be shooting myself in the foot by imposing this because i'm guilty of wearing heels to party sometimes but only to go home limping and cursing my choice of footwear. apart from the self-inflicted high heel syndrome, please spare a thought from your fellow party people with their exposed vulnerable feet. female clubbers esepcially because most, like me, prefer wearing comfy open-toed flats and believe me when i say the moment when heel-meets-flesh, your heart skips a beat for a moment before you bend over clutching your feet breathlessly in pain. stilettos are the worst. i've had the misfortune of getting stepped on just below my small toe and it ruptured one of my veins causing a bruise the size of australia.

2) NO UGLY DRESS SENSE - strictly NO sports shoes ( i have a friend who enjoys wearing her disgusting breadloaf sized running shoes WITH mini skirts. fucking gross ) . men with more than two buttons undone on their shirts will be denied entry immediately, and if they have chest hair they will be permanently banned. girls who enjoy looking like whores ( bandeau tube top with mini skirt AND knee length boots. oh , the horror ! ) or take the meaning of kitsch to a whole new level will also be politely declined. i like kitsch but honestly, bright orange floral tops matched with tattered baby blue gauchos ???

3) NO OBVIOUS SPGS - i'm sorry to stereotype but if you have long rebonded hair, wear skimpy ( and usually all black ) oufits , carry an imitation LV clutch and potter around in clunky platform shoes then you're an SPG. a low-class SPG no less, one who hangs around Wala wala in hope of nabbing some balding pot-bellied redneck. go away, there ain't no such men in my club.

4) NO FAKE ACCENTS - all patrons will have to undergo a short speech test and required to say "oh hello john nice weather we're having , no ?". if i feel that you're trying too hard ( that the veins pop out in your forehead and neck from the sheer strain ) and that you remind me of CNA journalists, then you're out. bye !

5) NO SUSPICIOUS LOOKING MEN - i can tell from your unwavering lifeless stare and tongue constantly hanging on your lower lip that there is only one thing on your agenda. you will also probably have a horrid combover and wear cheap leather shoes.

and thats all for now !!


Friday, August 18, 2006

ah ah ah ah stayin alive!

thank god its friday !! it has been an absolutely uneventful week for me. for a person so used to being occupied 24/7 with schoolwork or some other shit, i got so bored stiff that i actually suffered from mild depression for a couple of days.

actually i should be busy with my impending GRADUATION PROJECT ( oh yeah i love the ring to it.. ) which i'm supposed to shoot a short film for. but since d's still in bangkok i can't start work without him cus i have to borrow his equipment and expertise and editing suite ( the advantages of seeing someone who owns his own media company ! )

now that the weekend is here i finally have more interesting stuff to do and of course i feel alot more sane knowing that i'm going to start work with a fabulous magazine soon !

i tried my hand at baking cookies yesterday for the first time in my life. i used to think that i'm quite the domestic goddess but i've proven myself wrong.

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cookie dough ! i spent quite a bit on the ingredients alone. especially on the chocolate chunks because i insisted on cadbury.

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first batch = FAIL ! i think either the dough was too wet or i should have reduced the size. anyway they turned out burnt on the underside and rather uncooked on top. SIGH.

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second batch ! slightly better, at least they weren't spread out in one huge piece but some of them still ended up quite burnt. the third and fourth batches all ended up the same so i only reaped like 30% edible cookies. which tasted really good ( shameless ! tsk tsk ) , reminiscent of famous amos hor !!

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hahaha i love this shot of yan and me because it looks so spontaneous ( and hideous ). what happened what i was trying to take a nice photo but because we just ate sting ray my breath smelled rather funky and the best part was my mouth was like a hair's breadth away from her nose. LOL . i hate her nail colour though.

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andy a.k.a pimp daddy and i before we got seriously intoxicated at zouk with the rest of the posse.i think his liver is like a sponge because he had like 10 pints of beer, 1 jug of bourbon coke and 5 shots of tequila before he felt mildly hammered. WTF ?! i had like 7 shots of tequila and about half jug of screwdriver before i was felt mighty flirtatious and tried to pick up a blonde chick, who blatantly rejected my amorous advances with a bewildered NO. hahahaha. why, don't you think i'm cute enough for you my flaxen hair beauty ??

alright.. and now i shall start primping myself for a night at MOS with the girls later.. tonight's the crowd gonna be arty farty so hopefully i'll get to bump into some brooding suicidal painter !! ( shh don't tell d :p )

oh.. did i mention d actually got upclose with alleged killer John Mark Karr yesterday as he had to film him ? i don't know about you but because i've read the story before this guy got nabbed, i feel that there is more than meets the eye on this case.

then again would there be so much public interest if the victim was black ?


listenin to : augustana - boston


Wednesday, August 16, 2006


i've never felt so restless in my life before. the past few days can be compared to a stark whitewashed wall - gets blinding after awhile. i hate routines. waking up just to watch the telly ( okay i'm seriously hooked on travelogues and cooking shows on Travel and Living ) followed by dinner with random friends and its back home to the telly. what the fuck. i can't wait to start my internship.

anyway here's a few photos i've taken.

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each line on his face a tale of hardship

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some surreal place off kallang

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ditto. check out the three pronged thingy !

and now i present to you a few of d's amazing showcase of his talents. these are all taken on his fully manual leica m6 camera . damn. he's really good isn't he ? i'm so proud of him. yea we both have a thing for people/potraits. expressions intrigue me and they're the hardest to capture because it lasts for only a fleeting second before it changes.

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listening to :

speaking of which i've been listening to alot of mellow stuff lately. these are on my playlist in my ipod

michael buble - home

augustana - boston

new radicals - someday we'll know

snow patrol - run

train - drops of jupiter.

i guess it heralds the start of a new phase and goodbye to the angsty music phase i was so into for the past one year or so. maybe not. dunno.


Tuesday, August 15, 2006


in memory of my lost innocence.

days when i never had to worry about my increasing reliance on alchohol. when i could sleep without the mandatory dosage of vodka.

when i never had to worry about when my period was due; instead jubilating whenever it was late so i could a few more days of pad-free happiness

when i never sat stoned on bus journeys and missing my destination on purpose just so i could have a few more moments with myself and my ipod.

when i never had to worry about my future; when will i ever land the coveted internship with a reputable publisher ?

when i never had to fret incessantly about mortality and the frailty of life. why do we have to die ? does it hurt more to know about your own prognosis or that of those dear to you ? i'd say the latter.

when i never had to worry if my friends loved me.

when i never had to doubt the person i loved. ( d was once married)

when i never had to worry if the person i loved was the person i loved.

i like d. i like him because we have so much in common. i like him because he's so nonchalent. i like him because he knows what he wants. i like him because he's as sarcastic as me.

but we're seperated by a 17 year age gap. which is alot if you ask me. and a whole lot of of mistrust on my part. i can't help but wonder if he's in the arms of some foreign chick whenever he's away. and i'm really holding back the urge to ransack his closets for discriminating evidence.


Monday, August 14, 2006

oh no

you know your hormones are all fucked up when you start tearing up watching extreme makeover. someone please tell me that i'm not the only one who gets all weepy watching that show !


Saturday, August 12, 2006

i wish all of you happiness, because since it seems highly impossible for me to achieve anything remotely anywhere near the description, i might as well hope for the best for the people around me.

even if they don't give a flying fuck. yes and that includes you, you and you.

now piss off


Thursday, August 10, 2006

happy national day!

that's right ! mine was spent rather unpatriotically with mark, though we did pay homage to this little island by looking at the "propaganda-ish" murals at mount faber. you know, stuff one finds in social studies textbooks here like "and today, Singapore boasts having one of the most reliable transportation networks in the world yadda yadda yadda"

yeah we really have an awesome and almost fautless train and bus system but bear in mind that we're a little country so its really hard to achieve anywhere near our standards in places like california or malaysia. so i think the govt is just making a big hoo-ha, lol.

one good analogy : someone with a small dick usually has a very big ego :p

despite the little bits that irks me sometimes such as ungracious passengers and how the govt tries to conform us, i still love this country to bits.

i may harbour the occasion thought of greener pastures but no matter where i'd be in the future, my heart will still stay on here, thank you very much *cue sniffles and sobs*

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mark and fiona wishes all Singaporeans a happy NATIONAL DAY !!!! ( with appropiate nation-building murals as a backdrop )


Monday, August 07, 2006

all about films

yep, to ask me to narrow down my first love to a genre would be an absolute torture. but if i really had to, then it would probably be paraphilia ( wahh sibei obscure genre ) . you know, twisted sexuality issues. homosexuality ( though most would argue that homosexuality isn't paraphiliac in nature ), shock-inducing fetishes and the like.

it never fails to intrigue me how far what was initially intended to be solely an act of procreation has branched out amidst much fanfare. i actually have come to believe that it isn't the the act itself that encourages such behaviour but the attached pleasures that comes with it as an incentive for the human species to engage in sex, thereby ensuring survival.

you most certainly don't get morbid behaviour when it comes to other basic needs such as eating or sleeping even though our bodies most certainly releases the same pleasure hormones, endorphins, when each need is met.


i've caught a few pretty good films of the said genre, both mainstream and peripheral. of course they are more subtle and not too graphic as compared to those floating around the net.if you really want the real thing ( snuff, rape, self mutilation etc ) for the authencity and not for the film itself, download it.

here are a few notable ones

1) the woodsman

2) transamerica

3) cruel intentions

4) mysterious skin

5) brokeback mountain ( oh shut up, i really liked this one )

6) c.r.a.z.y

7) mee pok man

i think Hard Candy's gonna be good. hur hur. can't wait to catch it, and S11 ( local shit, baby ! ) too !!

okay back to sleep. MY HOLIDAYS ARE HERE !


Saturday, August 05, 2006

about d

its 5.30 am now and although i crawled out of bed with the sole mission of taking a piss, i ended up checking on my Monty Python video clips and watching one of em.

fucking hiliarious ,i tell you. nothing like a dosage of Monty Python's classic humour to kickstart the day.


d smsed me just now, and no it wasn't any of those achey-breaky mushy stuff but rather

"hey sweetie, 40 civilians just died in lebanon. bloody israelis"

that's what happens when the person you're seeing is a journalist. for every day spent idling with him in his apartment, an hour will definitely be dedicated to the both of us gawking over the telly. nope, not over MTV but BBC news ( and the occasional travelogue on Travel and Living )

quite a novel way to bond, really. because we'll be mostly at each other's throats trying to engage in friendly debate. like how AIDS is actually a disease created by americans to curb population explosion in africa ( ironic that it kinda backfired and now its a worldwide epidemic even in the states , the so-called creators of the disease ) . not quite an absurd theory but i doubt any person in existence will be able to commit such a heinous crime against humanity. d doesn't really believe in human goodness.

sometimes i think his heart is cold after those first person encounters with suffering after all these years with the news corporation.

there was this time last week while over a nice little dinner at Oso ( this awesome italian place in tanjong pagar ) , we nitpicked over my stand of how space exploration should be halted in place of directing the funds to solve our OWN problems of famine, poverty and the likes before wondering what goes beyond yonder.

d vehemently disagreed and argued that without knowledge, we would be rendered useless , that such issues will never be resolved because there will always be the predator and prey and that sort of shit. yin and yang. that nature will always be balanced ( which is also why communism failed, he said ) this went on for a while and perhaps it was under the influence of champagne but i got so pissed off with his lack of compassion and self-righteousness that i almost left the restaurent in a huff.

such is the wrath of two stubborn individuals. ha. which will probably cause the end of us but it all good for now.

i'm craving for macdonald's big breakfast now.. ahh... the ultimate comfort food.


listenin to : tiesto - traffic ( ahaha like wtf yea i know but d loves trance and somehow it rubbed off me )


Friday, August 04, 2006

Thank God Its Friday.. Not ! ( and a trip to the pasar )

i sat down at the table and stared at my sad bachelorette lunch and was suddenly so overwhelmed by a wave of self-pity that tears stung my eyes momentarily before i laughed myself for being so absurd.

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for a while i pondered about my existence. i'm sitting at home half naked, finding stale newspapers a joy to read and sobbing about lunch while other 20 year old are out there winning Miss Universe pagents or swindling money from their sugar daddies.

yes, this is my very simple home-cooked lunch consisting of steamed fish, stir-fried dou miao and good ol' porridge eaten the traditional way, with chopsticks.

damn healthy ( and bland ) fare, yes. but because i am stricken with a very bad viral infection, i seemed to have lost interest in savoury food.

been a damn long while since i cooked chinese food because pasta is just so chop-chop ! u just have to boil the pasta, heat up some pasta sauce from the bottle, toss then together and sprinkle a generous dose of oregano and its a meal under 5 minutes.

i woke up this morning feeling extremely under the weather and for the next hour i wondered who i could call at such an early hour to pour my grievances to ( and getting the person to take me to the doc's ) but i could find no one.

d ? he left yesterday for a week long working assignment in manila. sigh

mustering up my strength i dragged myself out of bed and cabbed it down to a clinic. it was only 11am when i got out with a new supply of meds and i was feeling faint from lack of breakfast and the feverish sweat plagueing me.

so i decided to troop down to the wet market ( hahaha weird decision considering i should have just went home in my state ) and little-miss-hygienic-and-pampered almost threw up as the acrid stench of fresh produce hit her.

but i love being in wet markets. i love being spoilt for choice, to be able to prod and pick at my vegetables instead of them being all wrapped up ( and looking wilted ) , like they always are in supermarkets.

and wet markets are bachelorette-friendly too ! u can get a small sliver of beef and perhaps just a handful of fresh beansprouts.. ta~da! a meal for just under a dollar. you certainly can't get that in supermarkets because you have to buy stuff by "family" bulk.


i got conned by the happy and leery fishmonger who sold me half a small garoupa for $4.50. knn, you think lao niang dunno anything huh ? i should have haggled it down to $4 but i was too sick to argue. besides he was so blatantly ogling that i didn't really want to bask in his presence any longer.

yes i think its rather weird for a girl my age to be spotted among a sea of bad perm jobs and even worse eyebrow tattoos, looking rather conspicuous in her shorts and tee.

did i mention how it really makes my day when i surprise the aunties by replying them in my faltering but decent hokkien when they try to speak to me in english ?

vegetable seller : girl ah, this one, fresh fresh ! you want ?

me : mai lah , wa ai dou miao nia. li wu bo ?? ( nah, i just want dou miao. do you have 'em ? )

vegetable seller *indignant expression* : wu wu , zi tao ! buei kak ! ( yeah, here ! eighty cents )

i used to accompany my grandma to the wet market weekly when i was much younger. every saturday without fail we would stroll through Bedok Town park to get to the huge market at the other end.

even as a young girl i had already acquired an impeccable sense of hygiene so i would tip-toe my way around the pools of murky water and the occasional dead prawn. because i hated the stink of meat so much, i would wait for her at the 'dry' produce side of the market and steal bits of dried shrimp to eat. which one really shouldn't do because god knows where they came from and it should be always washed and soaked before thoroughly cooking it.

and she would come for me with a packet of fresh soya milk and a stick of you tiao in it. ahhh. those were the days !!


its 2.30pm now i still feel like shit. because of the infection my pus-phlegm smells really funky and just by opening my mouth i could smell it. fucking gross ! the fever has subsided somewhat but i am still very much malaise-d. there goes my friday.

the doc said it'll be a week or so before i'll actually begin to feel better. what the fuck. one whole fucking week.

which means alot of incessant blog entries without any focus. hahaha.

and d's not even around to pat my head to sleep. i miss that old fogey already !!


Thursday, August 03, 2006

the edge

about the seemingly incoherent previous post :

i started feeling nauseous after only two martinis and two shooters. this alarmed me slightly for this was definitely below the usual dosage of booze that would get me swaying about in a daze.

i went home only only to find myself literally worshipping the porcelain throne - knelt in front of the toilet bowl and gripping the side as i tried my best to purge out the "foreign object" that felt like it was stuck at the edge of my throat.

nothing came out, only the usual post-alcohol bitter spit i was so familiar with. but the phantom object was still there.

for next agonising 5 hours i made countless trips to the bathroom a disoriented person. i was breaking out in cold sweat and felt limbless. finally at 6am i slumped against the toilet bowl, spent.

i woke up feeling absolutely no signs of the hell i had been through a couple of hours earlier. i went to take my medicine for the my throat infection and thats when i read the label -


wtf ?

i immediately went to google the antibiotic's name and found out that apparently this type of medicine causes the liver to allow alcohol into the bloodstream. the symptoms that'll follow will be extreme nausea , and the like. and perhaps even liver failure.

phew. i am glad to be alive.

damn i should really stop drinking.

headin out to meet d now folks , have fun =)


urgh i just threw up twice. good night.

i swear 'll never touch alchohol again in a loooong time.


Tuesday, August 01, 2006

i was going to write , but then i got high ( woo oo )

i was going to bitch and rant and rave, but then i got high ( woo oo )

i was going pose in my birthday suit, but i know why ( why ? )

because i got high, because i got high, because i got high ! ( la da di da da )


the writer








shawn kuku


spirit fingers









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