still alive, though work has been rather taxing.
okay so 'rather taxing' is an understatement since i've been so stressed that my period came 2 weeks earlier. TWO FUCKING WEEKS!
which of course prompted another flurry of paranoia, and another trip to the doctor. since my usual doc was away i had to settle for some dubious doctor around the neighbourhood and i swear to god after this incident i will forever remain A CREATURE OF HABIT.
this fucking doctor was the worse ever. period. so he had a look up my little rosebud and he shook his head gravely. and i can guarantee you that it is far from assuring to be on some gurney lookalike with your legs spread open and this old man peering into the inner depths of your privates and shaking his head.
"what it is, doc?? why am i bleeding down there when its not my period!!?" ( then i didn't realise it was my period )
"i don't know but i think you've got a tear down there and you need to stitch it up"
"what tear?! how come i don't feel it?!"
( ignoring my question completely) "you gotta come back and get this stitched up or you'll bleed everytime you have sex"
i was feeling rather bewildered at that time because firstly, i've never felt any sort of pain down there neither have i had any problems er, copulating.
"its okay doc never mind about the tear, i'm not going to sleep with anyone in a long while"
and guess what. HE ROLLED HIS EYES AT ME AND WENT
"yeah right you're telling me you're not going to have sex anymore how is that possible"
you chao kuku! are you insinuating that i sleep around? if that wasn't blatant sarcasm i don't know what.
because i wasn't convinced that it was a tear that caused the bleeding since the flow was quite heavy, i wanted to know if its not any other thing that's causing the sudden symptom like a cyst or whatever.
"how can i know when i've not any done any tests on you yet girl? can you stop asking so many questions??"
seething in anger but not wanting to create a scene, i kept quiet. the worse was yet to come.
"okay girl you gotta do a blood test."
fine, blood test it is. though the first time i had my blood drawn i was thrashing about on the verge of fainting, i've been through it so many times that i was ready to get poked like a pro.
the needle went in and i squirmed a bit but took it like a brave girl. then, the doc got me to do something that made me gasp in muted horror
"okay girl, press down here with your two fingers"
he instructed me to press down between the needle with my two fingers so that he could withdraw the bloody needle.
WHAT THE FUCK. this was supposed to be done by a nurse!
halfway through withdrawing he suddenly muttered incoherently and trudged off with the needle sticking from my arm.
THAT IS RIGHT. HE WENT OFF WITH THE NEEDLE STILL IN MY ARM!
it was just hanging there, jutting out obscenely, the crimson liquid a concave cylinder in the syringe.
he came back with a metal tray and nonchalently removed the needle from my arm. how unprofessional!!!!!
i even had to stick on the plaster myself.
and now, almost a week later, i still haven't gotten the results from my blood tests even though i was promised i would get it on friday. bloody hell.
and yes, i went home and stuck a mirror between my legs and had a thorough self-examination. really, i see nor feel no tear. maybe he was just making some sort of excuse so that he could shut me up. i usually trust docs but this time round i'm going to insist on seeing the actual lab reports.
i'm not too worried now since the cause of the bleeding's my period but i just want to make sure that i get a clean bill of health ( which is stupid since my previous blood tests have proven otherwise but well, thats paranoia for you )
other than that, all has been fine.
and oh i find it extremely rude when people you're not exactly on buddy-buddy terms with asks about your salary.
i am earning enough, thank you very much.
can't wait for december, when deadlines for the inaugural issue's finally over.
BYE FOR NOW PEOPLES !
listening to : goo goo dolls - slide