orgasmic hamsters

orgasmic hamsters






Sunday, April 30, 2006

nobody fucks around with The Fiona

ello. i've been resurrected from the burning pit i call exams.

ITS ALL OVER AND I HAVE THE FOLLOWING WEEK TO MYSELF YO ! ( a blatantly shameless call for all ye arses to ask me out , dammit )

yesterday nigel and i were talking about the stupidity of some people over peach schnapps and lychee liquor ( girls , lychee martini is oh so passe. lol *deft flick of non-existent shampoo ad hair* )

we concluded on the two big "what NOT to say during the hot and heavy part of the mating game"

firstly , never ask a person if she wants to make out.

regardless of the answer, whatever that follows is awkwardness.

there can only be two humanly possible scenarios after our thorough analysis


boy : urm , do you want to make out with me ?

girl : er , no ?

scenario 2 :

boy : urm , do you want to make out with me ?

girl : er , okay ?

if you're caught in scenario 2 , lucky you. but unfortunately we're not living in hollywood so its wholly impossible that immediately after agreeing the girl will suddenly clamber on top of you while clenching your collar before pining you to the sofa/bed/washing machine and trying to suck out your tongue.

no siree !

as it is , what is likely to happen would be a pregnant pause with the two of you looking at the fraying threads of the bedsheet and likely a minute or so would pass before he makes a fumbled attempt to kiss you.

so never ASK.

spoils the momentum lah.

and secondly , never ever say thank you , especially after a sizzling make out session.


girl : oh baby.. *looks at him expectantly , spent*

boy : *brushes off stray hair from her flushed face* thank you

it cannot cannot cannot get any worse.

zooooook on friday night was a swirl of madness !

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xin and The Fiona . pre-party

how utterly unglam it was for me to bump into benny and kian outside zouk , with my disheveled hair plastered to my sweaty face and with a unconscious ruijie slumped around me.

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The Fiona , posing with unabashed glee at the expense of the fallen. post-party


but it was fun though. i've never entertained the idea of modelling ( not that i have the assets to speak of ) but the flesh imp models kinda broke away from the stoic paris catwalk types and suddenly i wished i was just that 3cm taller and my teeth a little bit straighter. hahaha.

i want to prance around a stage in front of a screaming enthusiastic audience wearing nothing but engine-red mesh stockings , killer heels , little black dress , and a handgun tucked into my frilly garter belt.

roar is the new purr.

allow me to end this post with a quote from nigel

"beauty is only a light switch away"


Wednesday, April 26, 2006

lost in Geylang

was supposed to head to Geylang for frog-leg porridge with M the night before and the incredible hopeless-with-directions-but-refuses-to-admit-it egoistic boy actually got quite lost. actually i think i would too , because its a one-way traffic at Geylang and the roads leading there reminds me of a labyrinth.

and here comes the quote of that night

m : "there are quite a few people who always get lost around here cos' there's a dead-end somewhere.."

*5 seconds later*

m : "oh shit we're ARE at the dead-end !!!"

LOL. and he still blamed me for the error lor. male drivers = chauvinistic

took us quite a while before we actually managed to filter into bloody Geylang where we finally managed to have a really spicy frog leg porridge at some back alley with the stench of a leaking sewage pipe as an appetiser.

not to mention the parade of very creamy pillow-like cleavages threatening to burst from their barely-there threads and the owner's come hither poses.. yum.



i am damn happy because i have 4 awesome DVDs to watch !!

firstly , i was making my way home from tampines interchange when i saw that Sembawang Music was having a sale..

then i discovered that they were selling their Oscar Classics for......

2 for $10 !!!!!!!!!!!!

Even pirated DVDs cost a little more !

Without hesitation i lunged for the two titles i have wanting to get my hands on for the longest time....

Casablanca and Gone with the wind !!!


and then dear ol' Tre lent me American History X and Garden State jus now. damn i can't wait.

i am chatting with Alvin ( who is in Germany now ) and we're waxing lyrical about how awesome the dialogue is of Closer.

especially the scene where Clive Owen confronts Julia Roberts about her extra marital affair.

so hot.. so.. raw.

and oh.. my ultimate celebrity menage-a-quattro partners would be : natalie portman , johnny depp and clive owen ( he isn't that gorgeous but he has this very menacing "i will kill you if you do not submit to me" look ) .

i love jake gyllenhaal but somehow his sex appeal is somewhat.. mild. lol.

my paper today turned out surprisingly well though my hands were still quivering after 15 pages worth of essays churned within a timeframe of 3 hours.

yours ,

the perverse film buff


listenin to : the shins - new slang


Sunday, April 23, 2006

the resident gourmet speaks up

okay so i've always been somewhat a snob when it comes to what goes into my mouth ( in more ways than one ifyanowadimean :p )

and that's why i've been packing lunch to school recently ( usually slices of french loaf and knobs of pre-packed butter ) instead of torturing myself with the pieces of lard and rancid crap the canteen vendors claim as food.

so anyway.

tre and i were both extremely apprehensive about having our dinner at delifrance , probably because we were creatures of habit and the new delifrance menu has yet to be sussed out by any of us.

speaking of which i finally learnt what stealth abs really mean. hahaha. ( stealth = hidden ) go figure.

but curiousity got the better of me and we went for it anyway over cafe cartel.

and oh what a big big mistake.

and fyi i've never really liked delifrance , especially now that it has started serving main courses and shit on its extremely pretentious menu.

oh sorry , they call it le menu ( prounounced as ler-mer-noo hor knn , not man-new okay you ignorant suburban dwellers like me )

and despite the fact that NONE of its items were authentic french fare , they made it look as if it was alright with all the pseudo-french names


grilled chicken is Poulet à l´ Estragon

and sirloin steak is Boeuf au Poivre Noir ( the only noir i know is film noir can ?)

i wonder what's with all those frenchie names anyway, since it is highly unlikely that anyone who patronises delifrance will have any grasp of french and even so , they have the english translation of it.

bottomline : pretentious and utterly redundant.

i know they're trying to create an identity here but it just makes me feel that they're trying too hard ( think bai ling ) and might lead our naive singaporeans to think that delifrance = french food.

and exploiting the beauty of the language as well.


anyway tre ordered the urm , something seafood set.

not surprisingly the food turned out like crap.

note : pardon the lousy quality of pics. 5 megapixel cam + shaky hands = shitty quality

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look at the meagre portion of the grilled fish !!!!! just as well it's nano-sized anyway because the taste leaves much to be desired. the mussels wasn't fresh too. give me $7 grilled fish at Han's anytime.

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the very deceiving poster of the seafood set in front of the cafe. clever marketing gimmicks and LYING are two absolutely different matters. someone call CASE. now.

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and this is my Boeuf au Poivre Noir . i requested for it to be done well ( its a request met with eye-popping disdain from discerning steak eaters ) and it wasn't just done well. it was done charred. i had to saw my way through the meat. and just look at the "salad"

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the "salad" close up. it looks NOTHING Like the succulent plumpy-ness depicted in the poster. instead , it turned up looking like it survived the WWII , the holocaust and even the battle of waterloo , got freeze-dried and bought back to life after being dunked in hot water. it was a sad looking pile of limp discoloured leaves with a murky liquid pooling around them. this is definitely salad-negligence in the first degree. needless to say the stale salad went untouched. it didn't come with any dressing anyway.

our meal came up to about $40 for crying out loud. we weren't offered any iced water and we even had to settle our bill AT the counter when there was a service charge being levied. i thought it was extremely unprofessional of them to leave the bill at our table way before our food was served , something i noticed which happened at the other tables as well. and they just practically left it there without having the courtesy of telling us what we were supposed to do with it.

in a nutshell :

never ever patronise delifrance. the food sucks and the service lacklustre. for $20 a person i'd rather you blow it at yes , dare i say , phin's steakhouse ( or maybe not )

or maybe for two glasses of good ol' bailey's with milk.

yours truly,

the upholder of culinary justice


listenin to : morrissey - interesting drug


Saturday, April 22, 2006

vanity fair

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zee wallpapers are pretty , non ?

and oh.

i've decided to stop whining about the size of my boobs and embrace my two little kittens with open arms.

i'm sure there are people out there who prefers them le petite :p


the most depressing words of all time : if and almost

god save the queen


Friday, April 21, 2006


Heh. in case you would like to know me better :p

Seven dreams before death:
1. travel extensively esp to countries like russia , bhutan , the more "unpopular" american states like wisconsin and etc
2. haul ass to the UK or LA to work
3. attend at least one chi-chi socialite event and gawk at the pretentious people
4. sky dive
5. shave my head
6. to be prisoned ( not the kinda long term stay of course )
7. to make a short film

Seven things I can’t do in this lifetime:
1. be a homebody
2. be a morning person
3. swim
4. starve
5. finding the guts to embark on a paranormal adventure ( including watching ghostly shows on tv)
6. fall madly in love with ginger ( even ginger ale makes me wince )
7. mete out pain on another living creature ( unless if it was for *ahem* kinky reasons lol )

Seven things that attract me:
1. a nice scent
2. well coordinated dress sense ( immediate elimination if you wear sports shoes. immediate decapitation if your clothes are crumpled AND if you wear rubber wristbands , it has never been in vogue for cryin out loud ! )
3. wits
4. intelligence
5. kinkiness
6. acute sense of hygiene ( clean/short nails, clean teeth etc )
7. similar musical preferences

Seven things I say:
1. anyhow only !
2. oh fuck
3. damn
4. right.
5. sup ? ( only when i feel like i wanna rap )
6. huh ?
7. wah laooooo ( with the long lazy drawl )

Seven books that I love:
1. the testament by john grisham
2. the works of laura ingalls wilder
3. da vinci code ( yes i know i am just part of the statistic.. )
4. charlotte's web
5. Boy by Roald dahl
6. curious incident of the dog in the night time
7. chick lit ! e.g weekend in paris by robyn sisman ( after all i'm a bimbo at heart )

Seven movies that I’ve loved:
1. love actually ( this is definitely an all-time fav )
2. saw
3. saving private ryan
4. perth ( starring lim kay tong.. this man is talented !)
5. closer
6. brokeback mountain
7. v for vendetta

and thats all for now..


time to head to school to mug with the fellow muggers......


details @


listenin to : elliott smith - twilight


Wednesday, April 19, 2006

"i promise never to kill tarrance again"

okay that quote was from starsky and hutch which i caught on dvd a couple of days ago. considerably entertaining but then again i might be biased because i have a thing for retro-themed flicks.

also caught inside man with nich, which didn't really live up to the 4.5/5 rating ( the only film review site i trust ) gave as i didn't really appreciate the slow pacing which i presume was to create suspense but it didn't go down well on an impatient person like me. clive owen was rather delice, i've noticed him since closer. this is a good movie of its genre but it pales in comparision to my favourite heist movie of all times which is ocean's eleven and twelve.

in other news, i have been sacked from tcc. boo hoo hoo. i'm not particularly affected by it but why must it come just as when i'm beginning to forge a sort of affection for the outlet ? the reason for my dismissal was for my no-show twice. its a long story but i'm still pissed with my extremely insensitive outlet manager. allow me to quote the bastard

"i don't care if you have an MC ! you just can't report sick at the last minute!"


my exams are next week and i have been doing everything but revise the past few days. instead i have been frolicking / feeding my growing alcohol habit / eating my heart out . very very bad.

but why do it today when you can do it tomorrow right ? LOL. okay lah , i shall start mugging on friday =D

today i had an interesting encounter on the train.

i was minding my own business and bopping away to the soundtrack of Saturday Night Fever ( yes that of the ah-ah-ah-ah-staying-alive fame ) on my pod when my canine-empowered nose detected a pleasant masculine scent and i looked up to see a strapping young man settle into the hard plastic seat in front of me.

he was nothing spectacular. just of your run-of-the-mill post-army boy clad in a preppy outfit which i thought was mightily well-coordinated. checked brown shirt , chocolate bermudas and black havainas. and he wore glasses. mega brownie points !

i didn't give him a second glance until a few mins later he took out a rather thick book from his NUM bag.

wow , i thought.

he reads !

i strained my eyes for a clearer view of what my intellectual boy was reading.

not the da vinci code please , i prayed silently. ( FYI : i have nothing against the DVC but it has come to my attention that some people think being seen reading this turns you into an instant genius to onlookers. wrong-o. )

and then i saw the title.

i gasped.

he was readin....

KAFKA ON THE SHORE !!!! ( of course this book might be dismissed as complete junk to all ye literary pretentious purists lol )

i was was very impressed and suddenly he morphed into this nondescript passenger into the King of the Cabin.

his face took on a clearer form and hey, he was actually good looking. chiselled frame, thick well shaped brows and a flawless mien. and then i saw his lips.

it had that cute litle bump in the middle of his upper lip which gave him a constant child-like pout. awwww !

now i can add on to my list of instant notch uppers in guys ( in no particular order )

1- army number 4s and police uniforms
2- glasses
3- goatees
4- book reader

now i sound like a man-crazy woman. okay so i am.

time for a few random shots.

had desserts at Bakerzin with nic after inside man.

he had a trio of dessert tapas , namely the raspberry panna cotta , floating island and chocolate shooter. the latter was very dismal , extremely lacklustre and nothing to shout about.

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but the panna cotta was.... ooooooooooooooh.

to say it was orgasmic would be an understatement , no shit. it literally melts the moment it comes into contact with your tongue into a burst of heavenly tart creaminess spiked with vanilla.

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and i had the usual, which is the warm chocolate cake. again i found it disappointing, it actually tastes similar to the one we ( nooooo fiona stop associating yourself with TCC ! ) urm , tcc has.

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the objective of this photo is to show how "brave" i actually am to have the guts to sit in the middle of the road. i know nobody is impressed.

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the photo which nic was ooh-ing and ahh-ing over because he apparently he thinks this is the only photo i look vaguely good in. and he is right , because it doesn't look like me at all.

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may i present to you.. the secret juvenile lifes of two 24 year old MEN.

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and below is an example of what 20 year olds really like to do when they have nothing else beter to fiddle with.

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and thats all for now ! i am happy and content.

good night !


listenin to : from the eurotrip movie - scotty doesn't know


Tuesday, April 18, 2006


i am desperately looking for the DVDs of

1) Trainspotting

2) Eurotrip

Would really really appreciate it if you have any idea where i can find them or even better, if you have a copy and are willing to lend it to me ( i don't mind paying :D )



Monday, April 17, 2006

whaaa..aat ?!

Seen in a toilet cubicle at a pub in Siglap just now

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something is wrong. very very wrong.

go figure !


listenin to : the postal service - sleeping in


Saturday, April 15, 2006

food for thought

11am : a very late breakfast of last night's dinner consisting of rice, a slab of curry fish and long beans reheated in the microwave

11.30am : a half-eaten Mushroom Quiche from Delifrance ( last night was the first time i had it and to my surprise it was really good and chockful of sauteed mushrooms when i had expected only a few token slivers of it )

2pm : munched on a kopi-o bun from breadtalk as i made my way through Citylink to meet P and Shun

4pm : another purchase from Breadtalk , the spanking new item which is a long piece of flat bread with kimchi and topped with cheese. damn good !

5.30pm : sat down at Dian Xiao Er @ Marina Square. Had the coveted Herbal Duck with rice and a plate of something fried tofu. the latter was .... orgasmic. deep fried tofu stuffed with some kinda meat and swimming in a savoury gravy

7pm : green tea gelato from the store next to Famous Amos at M.S

9pm : arrived at Holland Village and had a plate of Caesar Salad with Chicken at Yan's working place , Breko Cafe. the avocado bits tasted like rancid oil. urghh. still lapped the plate clean though lol.

11pm : tau hway with peanuts at the famous You Tiao King at Geylang !!!! so-so only lah , the syrup was rather dismal and the peanuts a tad too hard and sandy in texture.

12am : contemplated having durians but the sight of my protuding stomach ( i look positively 3 months preggers ) and groans from the overfed boys made me decide otherwise.

Today has been a gastronomic day indeed. hahaha. i just love eating so much.

and did i mention i now tip the scales at 42 kg, up from a miserable 39kg in Jan ?

i am so damn happy. 3 kilos away from my desired weight !!!!

okay time for bed, have to wake up at 6am tomorrow.

*waves to onelittletwit* ( whom i bumped into at Topshop heh )


Monday, April 10, 2006

calm after the storm

okay okay , i'm not going to die.

i think every person should have that one or two special movies to watch during their blah phases.

mine's Grease and Love Actually =D

Grease is just such fluffy mindless fun. And did i mention i really really love their costumes and the songs ??

"Greased lightnin' ! Go greased lightnin' !"


Sunday, April 09, 2006


you know, i honestly think i'm just trying to deny myself from the fact that i have as much appeal as a pile of decaying jellyfish in my previous post.

admit it, you bloody fabricator, you're still chaste not because you think you chose to be, but because you're a disgusting self-loathing heap.

i tried smiling into the mirror to cheer myself up but all i saw was a tired sallow face and a set of horribly deformed teeth with assorted remnants of my meals lodged between them.

i am emaciated. i look emaciated and i feel emaciated.

my legs look awfully skinny and my usually impeccably pedicured toes look like a shadow of their glorious self. my favourite nail polish in the sweetest shade of plum looks desaturated.devoid of colour. my nails are chipping.

and my hair. when did it start to look so drab ? i miss the days when i had loud messed up hair and revelled in looking slutty and breaking hearts at will.

my aura. if it had a colour, it'll be black. cold dark ebony.

on any given day if i were to be granted a single wish, i'd wish for good health and happiness for my family ( no i'm not kidding ) but right now, at this very moment, all that i really really want, is someone i could love.

and it doesn't even have to be mutual.

whatever happened to the cynical and nonchalent fiona ?

oh fuck i'm rapidly losing any semblance of sanity left.

and its only 6.30 in the morning.

i think i drink too damn much. my tongue is numb.


the birds and the bees and the birds and the bees

i caught Tab TV on channel 5 out of sheer boredom and was immensely riled by the blatant anti-homosexuality "facts" regarding the statistics of HIV-positive people here.

i really didn't see the need for the good people at mediacorp to place emphasis that "more than 40% were homosexual men" when the topic was teenage sex.

oh, the irony.

oh, the digression !!

damn homophobes.

izzy ( aka the sarong party girl ) was there as part of a discussion heralded by 3 utterly uptight i-want-to-be-best-friends-with-my-daughter presenters.

i would like to quote the flying dutchman

"i would want my daughter to kiss in front of me rather than do in downstairs. and why not after all he is her boyfriend and i want her to know that i am absolutely fine and open with it"

and then he abruptly changes his tune later to something like

"i find it disturbing to know that kids nowadays don't know the meaning of sex. don't they know that sex is more than just sex?"

yes yes.. sex is more than just sex.

it is... Sex.

speaking of which i think that the value of virginity goes through phases.

before, it was like

"oh my god you're not a virgin?!?!"

and now its like

"oh my god you're a virgin!? where have you been all your life?! the fiona rock?!"


"i'm not gonna marry her anymore ! she ain't a virgin!"

and now

"i think its absolutely necessary that my would-be wife be experienced in bed. i hate amateurish sex"

i can actually foresee the near future speak now. because it has and will always be cool to be different, maybe people would actually start lying about their not-s0-intact virginity to be cool. ( god i can't believe i'm actually using the word cool. i am a has-been. LOL )

and i admit, i am actually afraid of what is to come the day i lie on a bed stark naked with a foreign object about to enter the unexplored region. how would it be like ? would i start convulsing with disgust and guilt? would i roll my eyes and think "fuck this isn't what i thought it would be" ?

i remember how fiercely i guarded my first kiss. i had always fantasised about it being all rosy and soft, a warmth emancipating from the pit of my stomach, a toe-curling experience which would end with a shy smile and a hug. ( okay i meant my first real heterosexual kiss, i've kissed dozens of women before )

i was so paranoid about it that i wanted to direct it. yes you heard it right , direct my very first kiss. i wanted so badly for it to go right, i wanted to remember it fondly.

no silly truth or dare forfeits.

i wanted it to be etched lovingly in my memory and not something so botched up that i wanted to forget.

and what do you know? the latter happened. hahaha.

so many opportunities i had wasted, those tender goodnight consumnate peck-on-the-cheek that could have progressed to something memorable if not because of my prudence. i thought maybe this wasn't THE moment, that something better would come along.

and then one fine day someone came along. someone i didn't even fancy. he kissed me while i was unaware and although it was a fleeting liplock i went into a minor shock after that.

nothing like what i had waited so long for. no sparks flew, no nervous beating of the heart. it was just his dry lips against mine. horrid.

i was so sickened and so bloody pissed with him.

i have waited almost 19 years for that one special first kiss and YOU just took it away. FUCK!

i remember a time when X and i were at my grandma's place late one night. nobody was around, the air was chilly and we were comfortable slumped against each other lazily.

he held my hand and nuzzled my cheek with his. i was so damn nervous i didn't dare look at him though my heart was so full of love and anticipating him to kiss me.

i turned around slightly just enough to look at him from the corner of my eye and all that seperated our faces was an invisible barrier of warm air from our breath.

i knew he was waiting but because of my cowardice i did not and instead i chose to sit up on the pretext of looking at my phone because the suspense was too much for me to handle.


i am sad to report that since that unfortunate first kiss i've never had any romantic encounters to date except for nasty spur-of-the-moment moments that involved alot of embarassing fumbles and what-the-fuck-was-i-doing thoughts.

which is why, i am afraid of the second "first time" every person has to go through.

i don't want to be part of the statistic where 75% of all singaporean girls loses their virginity in a cramped chalet room. yeah thats right , chalets. and no wonder, chalets are a breeding ground for sexual tension. alcohol and a private room ready . perfecto.

neither do i want to wake up feeling bewildered to find my panties around my ankles with the dude i danced with the night before sleeping in his birthday suit next to me.

and definitely not with some horny 20 year old whose idea of foreplay is a quick breast-kneading session.

but with high expectations come great disappointment, i can only hope that i don't end up feeling as disgusted as with my first kiss. lol.

anyway.. pictures !

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spot the virgin !!

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shiny happy people

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dwarfed! ( i look pregnant. but hey ! i had a heavy dinner okay ! )

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post-puke scene

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the egoistic no-i-am-not-making-a-wrong-turn (when he really was) driver. note the phantom rainbow

listening to : the sad little stars - don't fuck with love


Saturday, April 08, 2006



the time is 6.22 in the morning and i woke up with the intention of showering..

and then i realised i already did when i returned home drunk as a lord just now at around 2am =D

seems that old habits die hard even when you're incapable of walking in a straight line =D

i will die a clean person.

p/s : to the 3 of you.. thank you so much for being there for me .. but seriously.. 2 shots of vodka for under 8 dollars is an irresistable deal !!!! and thats why i had... never mind. lol.


Friday, April 07, 2006


i initially had thought that he was gay, but he proved me wrong in the most erm, direct method possible. :p



Wednesday, April 05, 2006

dilemma and random post-insomnia thoughts

should i or should i not attend classes ? i am sneezing at the rate of 3 a minute on average and i'm feeling rather whoozy from it. weeeee. i call it the sneezer's high.

i'm feeling so warm now, i suddenly wished i was still in la and pottering around the carpeted flooring with the blanket wrapped around my shivering self in the foggy mornings.

ice age 2 was a major yawnfest.

the elections are rigged i'm tellin ya. the interviews are oh-so-contrived and politically correct.

i'm a year short of receiving the $$ handout from the government. damn !

i've decided to go to school after all. =)

tata !


Monday, April 03, 2006

random freeze frames

yesterday a girl was spotted fumbling with a wine bottle placed suggestively between her thighs..

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okok, i kid, i kid. that's me trying very patiently to un-cork a wine bottle at philip's BBQ last night. the first attempt on another bottle went horribly wrong as the cork broke into two halfway through unscrewing it. it was a very delicate task trying to get the second half of the cork out.

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... And ta-dah ! the perfect piece of cork ( NO pun intended ) . believe me when i say its a daunting task to pull it all out in one whole piece as it disintegrates really easily especially at its halfway mark. the solution ? PATIENCE.

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don't ask me why there is a secondary school textbook among a bunch of twentysomething people. Fang had brought this there so that she could use it to fan the flames but it unfortunately ended up on the pyre. HA. BURN BOOKS, BURN !

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the obviously very undomesticated Tae ( no he's not my boyfriend la.. just a very unfunny April's fool joke i played ) washing up after a very sumptuous meal of kimchi soup and short-grained rice whipped up by him. a conversation that ensued during the washing-up ( yea he was nice enough to wash the dishes cus he knows how much i abhor washing )

me : why are u pouring the rice into the sink ? don't u know its gonna clog up the sewage pipes ?

tae : no it won't , i've done that for years when i was staying in NZ *swirls the grains of rice around the water before pushing them down the drainage*

me : it will , trust me ! soon they'll accumulate and clog up the pipes !!

tae : it won't , see ? its soft *presses rice between his fingers to show me how malleable they were*

me : isn't it easier if you just dumped the rice into the bin instead of wasting time pressing the rice down the drain ??

tae : you are such a NAG !

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to all lecturers : what your students are REALLY doing during those mind-numbing tutorials and lectures behind those laptops. no, they ain't diligently taking down notes thats for sure.


phew its 3pm now and it feels so shiok to sleep in on a monday because because i don't have any classes today ! =D

time to head out to meet P to collect a DVD ( his latest short film ! ) from him followed by dinner at grandma's. and then off to catch Ice Age 2 with T ! SCRAT !!

and oh i was in an incredibly foul mood last night. sigh.

okay bye.


listenin to : placebo - protege moi



before i begin i would like to quote keith

"Somebody once told me, no matter how busy you are, you'll find time if you care enough"

how true.

if you really have the heart to, even a mere five minutes of simple conversation would suffice.

i know because of the countless times i had to lie along the lines of "oh i've been really busy lately with my projects and all.." when asked why i have not been contacting that person lately.

it isn't really a lie per se , but i say it is a lie because i just didn't care enough for that person to keep him in my thoughts, and using such a cliched but plausible reason to cover up.

i remember how, even during my busy project cum exam period last year , i still found time to have nightly chats with XX and even squeeze in a short meetup or two in between classes.

this applies to family as well. i used to wonder how some of my friends are able to use abovementioned excuses as a reason for not attending family gatherings. like hello, i still went for dinner almost everyday at my grandma's even during my O levels.

friends come and go , so do lovers. trust me when i say its just not gonna work when they give you reasons like "oh im sorry i have work up to my neck now.." even when if all you requested for is a quick lunch 2 minute's walk away from that person's workplace.


Saturday, April 01, 2006

ten things

yes i'm actually home early on a saturday and it feels so good to whip up a simple dinner of super creamy scrambled eggs topped with a generous sprinkle of freshly grated parmesan cheese , a whole french loaf ( toasted to crisp perfection ) drizzled with extra virgin olive oil , smoked salmon ( with olive oil too ! ) , Heinz creamy pumpkin soup and a glass of organic soy milk.

that's alot isn't it ? somehow home-cooked food always whets up an appetite for me. i sometimes struggle to finish one measly portion whenever i'm dining outside when i can clear off three portions in a single setting at my grandma's.

i feel that with age , you learn to appreciate the smallest of blessings bestowed upon you. it wasn't until recently that i begin to enjoying lounging about lazily at home , with a good book in hand , and body sinking deeper and deeper into the well-worn two-seater.

anyway yes i've been rather up to my neck and i'm actually really happy to be busy, to be able to coax myself into a deep slumber once my head touches the pillow instead of relying on my usual pre-sleep cough syrup or antihistamine fix.

for the past few weeks some rather stupid shit has happened to me and i'll compile them in a list right now.

1) a week or so ago i missed the Express bus to town and i decided to wait for the next one even though it was a good 20 minutes wait because i had something to read. as you know Express buses have a schedule to keep and if the bus schedule says 9.15am, then 9.15am it is. unfortunately i was too engrossed in my papers to keep track of time and when i looked my watch it was already 9.15am exactly and i looked up to anticipate the bus only to see it drive past me. KNN !!!! for once tardiness is good.

2) i opened a can of fruit cocktail last night and absent mindedly i poured away the syrup because i had been just too used to opening cans of button mushrooms whose brine has to be discarded.

3) when my phone rang a few days ago i assumed it was Xin because i had missed called her earlier and she always calls me from her workplace . i hollered "yo bitch!" upon picking up the phone only to be answered by a pregnant pause followed by a perturbed female voice. "hello is this fiona ? this is mrs fong your lecturer here...."

4) okay this is going to sound really gross. somehow the side of my pantyliner "flipped" over and i got a paper-cut like nick down there. every step i took was like a torture because i was wearing really fitting shorts and every single movement the fabric rubbed against it like sawpaper. yeeeowch.

5) i was halfway through a mother of all yawns when i turned to look out for traffic.... only to meet eyes with a really cute guy. damn my distorted face.

6) looking like an idiot running with my life to catch a bus i spied coming from a distance, only to miss it after humilating myself running while trying to hold my tube top up in front of a bus stop filled with colourful SMU students. AHHHHHHHHHHH !

7) wasting ten minutes looking for my favourite bra only to realise i was already wearing it. yes it is so comfortable that i actually forgot , thats why its my fav !!

8) whenever i bring put my umbrella, the weather is always perfect to a fault. whenever i don't , storm clouds will suddenly gather. ha. murphy's law at its best.

9) almost shitting my pants when i lighted a ciggarette which resulted in a momentary mini explosion because my collegeue had planted the head of an unlit matchstick at the tip of the cigg. BLOODY HELL NOT FUNNY LOR!!

10) emptying the contents of an entire salt-shaker into said collegeue's iced tea as revenge, only to forget and to take a sip from her drink later.

and now i shall take a well deserved nap. laters.

p/s : and yes it is really this blog's 2nd anniversary... it ain't an april fool's joke ! =D =D wish me happy anniversary leh.


okok so that was such an unfunny april fool's joke. and he's really actually my nemesis.


the writer








shawn kuku


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