--
Down n out
--

Yep.. thats the way i've been feeling for the last few days.. I feel jaded.. So very jaded.. You would too , if all that you got from the person you really like is indifference ..

Can't believe he's the same person from last week..

Can't believe i actually believed in something that was never gonna happen..

Can't believe i held on so tight to a hope that was so threadbare ..

Can't believe that all these happened before.. And yet history managed to repeat itself.. A perfect replica.. A bad case of deja vu..

Once bitten , twice shy ?

Some people never learn..


Here's an excerpt from Natalie Imbruglia's 'Torn'

-
Torn , i'm all out of faith
This is how i feel
I'm cold and i'm ashamed
Lyin naked on the floor ..
-

---
i am getting.very.pissed.with.POPOUT BANNERS

I mean seriously

WHATS WRING WITH THE WWW nowadays ?!

DON't the ad-makers have ANY SENSE AT ALL!?

Oh my , i am the 50,000th visitor to a site and i get top bucks for that !! OH WOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANd then you realise you are the 50,000th visitor to every damned site.

Whats their fucking problem ? Can't i go web surfing in peace w/o the disruption of some about:blank shit ?

Argh. Its getting to me. The wonders of the WWW. Chew on it.

-------------
The third......
---

Nipple.Yeah thats right.

A THIRD NIPPLE.

How cool is that.

I could go on fours and feed an entire army.

Just some random thoughts.

--

-----
Buses.
--

Was on my way to work and i had the most unfortunate luck to board a very crowded bus that smelled rather funky , no thanks to the midday heat bringing out the potent mix from our bodies . Underarms you know ?

Anyway.

I was trying hard to breath from my mouth when this indian woman boarded and stood next to me. She smelt REALLY FUNKY , of curry powder and something sourish. Eew. And she was really ugly , her face was powdered at least 4 shades lighter than her body so she looked really freakish. And she had really bad hair. And i mean BAD.

After about one minute , she started to sort of push against me and i glared at her but it didnt seem to have any effect for she snorted and continued pushing against me as if i was blocking her way or something. I heard her go tsk-tsk and being in a really bad mood ( one can't help but be feeling really grumpy when stuck in such a bus ) i turned around and said

"Whats your fucking problem ?" ( i know it was really rude but i couldnt help it )

I was torn between deciding if her expression was that of being pissed or shocked. She hesitated before replyin

"Can you please move ? I have no space"

I shifted to one side where there was a little kid standing behind me , out of her sight.

"What say you ?"

I had no reply from her for she turned around in embarrasement. By then the passengers surrounding us were looking but i didnt care.

---
Whoops
--

Been rather busy .. or VERY busy in fact trying to juggle time between my school , work , friends and family. Shall update tomorrow when i finally have the afternoon to myself.

---
Sieg heil ... NOT !
--

Caught Brotherhood with T yesterday , and i must say i was a bit disappointed as the movie wasn't as great ( to me ) as the critics had claimed to be. It didnt exactly tug at my heartstrings as promised , although tears did well up in my eyes for a couple of scenes.

Carnage and gore galore ! I've never been an advocate of war , and this movies just reinforces my beliefs. To hell about what Bush says about a 'necessary' war to end the terror in Iraq. F**k that ! War has and will never be never been a necessity as a mean to end something , be it terror-related issues ( Iraq/Afghanistan ) or disputes between countries ( the brewing tension between Taiwan and China , and the Korean war half a century or so ago )

In 'Brotherhood' , the film takes place in 1950s Korea. North Korea was the aggressor and after much brainstorming in the theatre i managed to make out some facts regarding the Korean war and yeah , communism caused a war ( North was a communist state , South was US-protected ) between the two.

Anyway.

The movie had some really good effects , to the point that it made me squirm around uncomfortably in my seat while limbs and flesh were astrewn all around the place. However i was rather unimpressed by the lead actor where in many a scenes he actually RAN the whole length of an ongoing crossfire a few times UNSCATHED. I mean , what the hell. Its forgiven if he only did that stunt once and emerged alive but not 3 or more times. If anybody was that lucky , he should be made the commander if the entire battlelion right away. Damn.

Sadly , in war , innocent lifes will be taken inevitably. I was outraged to know that the Communist bastards actually massacred an entire village and it was not an isolated incident. What the F ? WIll doing that ensure a victory ? In Singapore , similar incidents were reported during the World war 2 when the Japanese soldiers rounded up people regularly and shot them at gunpoint if they were suspected to be 'spies' or something without even checking them , killing them based on their own assumptions. Shit.

Overall , i would give movie 3 / 5 stars. Minus 1 star for not being poignant enough to make me cry buckets , and another star for being a tad too slow .

--
Irrelevant post of the day
--

I've endured a terrible wedgie for like two hours today and i was trying VERY hard all the time NOT to put my hands into my pants to pull it out. I reckon i was walking rather weirdly before finally checking myself into a cubicle to pull out the offensive wedgie. A wedgie by the way is .... well give your undies a quick tug from above your butt and you'll know. :D

---
Ssuicidal fans
--

The fan next to me is shaking so damn violently that i fear for my life. I need insurance. It looks like a porcelain doll with those kinda nodding springy heads that had just been given a good hard knock by a sadist.


-----
Those eyes..
--

Those eyes of his.. whenever he's next to me , i can't help but steal glances at those eyes that seems to always exude an aura of sorrow.. Never will i forget his unwavering stares into nothingness , his solemn expression whenever silence sets in. Those are the times when i really wished i could do something to share his load but my attempts are often futile , if not only providing temporary relief with my clownish antics.

Even though i know what's weighing him down , i feel so at a loss and useless because i know that no matter how i try i will never be able to bring back his old cheerful self.. Its like he doesn't really recognise the efforts i've put in for him.. More often than not , especially recently , i've been questioning myself about my significance to him even though to most people it would seem that there's more than meets the eye between me and him when in fact its only friendship between us. A highly unusual friendship maybe. I don't know , i can't tell anymore. Its driving me up the wall , what with the occasional nonchalence and the next day a surge of concern. Not good.

-----
Dreams.Nightmares.
---

Okay so it wasnt really a nightmare since i dreamt of it while taking my compsulsory post-sleep nap early this morning. A napmare ?

Anyway.

I dreamt that i got raped !!!!!!!

It wasnt those kind of rape with lotsa XXX graphics ( think Irreversible. ) , because all i could remember was the rapist pining me down to the ground and my friends in the background seeing me get raped and doing NOTHING about it.

And guess what.

The rapist was Tay Ping Hui !!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean okay , i admit it. I was besotted with him for a couple days after seeing him in one of Mediacorp's recent dramas ( can't recall the title ) but it ended there. No fantasies whatsoever !!

The dream was really damn real. I remember knocking his knife off his hand and kicking it real far off but he surprised me by drawing out yet another knife and holding it against my neck , looking daunting and towering over my petite frame. I swear i could really feel the cold blade dragging against my skin as he said

"You asked for it , bitch."

I remember replying something like

"You're one big motherfu**er"

And fighting air as he dodged my lousy punches with much ease before he decided he had enough and pressed both my hands onto the ground in one quick swoop.

Yeah and so he left a trail of blood down my neck but it was nothing more than a supercial wound so i was still alive. I got raped after that. But i cannot remember how for i woke up . Haha , what an anti climax eh ?

As i flipped through the morning papers while having my breakfast i froze when i saw Tay Ping Hui's picture . It wasn't like deja vu but it was surely alot like it and my mind suddenly conjured up images of his malevolent ( yet chillingly handsome :P ) face , just the way it looked in my napmare.

Woah .

*throws her head behind and laughs sadistically*

--
irrelevant post of the day
--

Recently i've noticed that its the trend now to post such stuff on your blog entries. Its some kinda quiz thingy that actually doesnt really make sense ( at least to me )

Something like this. ( Name inked out to protect privacy. Heh. )

Of course , being the trendy sophisticated modern urbanite that i am i must keep up with the times and bring out the herd mentality in me by doing exactly what the others are doing. ( cleverly edited by me using MS Paint. Looks real hor ? )

How uber cool. Ah , i am not longer an old fogey. I AM TRENDY ! I AM DOING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING !

---
Unpretty
--

I met Julynn , HH and Jerel at about 1am yesterday for supper and we actually went down all the way to Mohd Sultan because HH drove his brother's car yesterday and i almost died from the thrills that i got at 250km/h down the highways.

Anyway.

We were all tempted to pop inside one of the clubs but the 3 muskeeters had school to attend so we didnt ( or couldnt. )

Lounging by the Ba-kut-Teh store that charges exorbitant prices for a meagre serving of the Ba-Kut-Teh , there was this rather plump lady in her mid 30s serving us drinks and she was what we all usually described as pussyface ( and that was mild. You wouldnt wanna hear what we actually called her )

Of course , we're not usually so cruel as to taunt others for how they look but this bitch was really rude and extremely stubborn even when proven wrong. Here's an excerpt from our brief conversation :

HH : Auntie.. We only ordered 4 drinks.. why are you charging us so much ?

Pussyface : Where got ?! You count properly before you accuse me , hor

HH : Okay , how much does one can costs ?

Pussyface : How i know ah ?

HH : But you're selling us the drinks , how can you not know

Pussyface : *kicks a chair towards the side and walks off but not before snorting loudly and eyeing us with extremely malevolent eyes*

And whats worse , she was dressed in a very figure hugging halter top that showed us much of her saggy boobs and in a pair of obviously fake Levis 599s , and i noted with glee that her waist was 38 ( i think )inches.

AND HER DISGUSTING BUTT CRACK ( Or butt cleavage to some ) was so obvious as she wore her jeans really low slung. Eeeew. Jerel managed to tip some ash from his cigarette down her butt crack , which will probably stay there forever because her butt is too fat to be cleansed thoroughly ( plus-sized people , pls don't take offence ! this is just about pussyface ). Yucks. Pardon my use of explicit language but she is certainly not a candidate to have an** sex with. :D

--
Whyyy....
--

Sometimes i ask myself why am i blogging when i am not allowed to say what i actually really want to for fear that my friends might read it. Of late i've been bugged by a couple of problems , mostly related with a few warped relationships that i'm experiencing. But i'm not in a position to speak about it , i'm sure at least one of the parties involved reads my blog and .. well , you get the idea :(

I feel so burderned.. The skeletons in my closet are all piling up.. There's this tremendous lead weight thats so bringing me down.. One that i cannot possibly disclose for if i did i would surely be the subject of much gossip and finger-wagging , for i have sinned.. ( not those kind of sin lah ! Why do people like to associate sinning with hideous crimes like adultery , rape or murder ?! )

Oh well.

Let us hold hands and sing in unison

Hakuna Matata !

WHat a wonderful phrase~

Hakuna Matata !

Ain't no passin craze !

It means no worries

For the rest of your days

Its a problem free philosophy

Hakuna Matata !

---

( Song adapted from The Lion King , what do you mean by what is The Lion King ?! Where have you been all your life !? )

Oh , don't you all just love The Lion King? I do :)

----

Listening to :

Shawn Colvin - Sunny came home

A really great track ! Its damn old , but really really nice. Great tune.

------
Snapshots. Of me. Of the NARCISSTIC ME
--

Yeah. Taken by Nicholas on his ultra expensive $1000 Nokia HP at this uber posh coffee place at Millenia walk where one dumb ( and not necessarily palatable ) frappe costs like wat , $8 ( Inclusive of misc. charges like service and tax charges ) . Nic ordered a Mighty Joe something , which was a banana mocha frappe ? WTF. Coffee and banana. The ingredients itself's already a big turn off to me ! The frappe tasted rather insipid and i say , COFFEE AND BANANA DO NOT GO WELL TOGETHER !


==

Behind me is Yan and Jermaine. It looks as if i got my left sleeve torn out or something ! And yes , i know i look like a hamster. Quit telling me that already !
--

Okay , quit gagging already. I know i'm trying too hard to look pretty for the camera but hey , every girl has her own 'im-trying-so-hard-to-look-pretty-that-it-hurts' moments.

--
What ?!
--

OKay i know Gmail is like so passe now that Yahoo and Hotmail have both increased their memory size thingy but i just realised i have 3 Gmail invites so well.. Anyone ? Drop me a comment !

-----
Oui , oui , monsieur

--

Whats with people and their phoney accents nowadays ?

As you would have known by now , i'm working part time at a cafe at an international airport and boy , the different customers i face never fail to amuse me.

I don't know why , but usually when i speak , there is a slight twang to it that make me sound neither here nor there . Which means that i don't sound as singaporean as i should. Of course not as bad as those fakey voices you can hear on 98.7fm lah ! :D

As i was saying..

Yesterday i served a group of young singaporean jappy wannabes and i can assure you , their command of the english language is rather atrocious. The first few sentences of our brief conversation went

Ah lian 1 ( With the badly drawn eyebrows ) : One car-poo-chi-no

Me : Huh ? What ? *Hesitates for a moment* Oh.. Cappucino ? Large or regular for you ?

Ah lian 1 : *Suddenly turning into a British* Oh yeah i would like to have a regular one , puh-leeze ( the exact tone i would usually use when exaggerating )

Me : Okay ..

AH beng 1 ( with the typical brown horrendous hairstyle ) : Hey , you american born chinese ah ?

Duh. I was rather amused for a while , thinking about the conversation. The sudden influx of ABCs with their very accented english has pulled the wool over our eyes , leading us to believe that every person with a slight twist to their accent is an ABC.

Come on !

Just because i talk with a clear diction and proper grammer and stuff does not make me an ABC. 0_o . But after that Ah beng asked that question i couldnt help but slang even more because that would make the 'Americans and British' in them make a sudden appearance. At least it livened up my dull day :D

Speaking of accents.

I get reminded of...

MY MANAGER !

Now , i am not a racist ( He's indian )

But one cannot hide the fact that most local indians speak like they're speaking Tamil regardless of what language they're using. ( Like a string of words spoken in a sing-song manner )

And he's not even local ( he's Malaysian. Thats WORSE because they speak Malay all the time. )

Did i mention that he absolutely suck in his english but yet he tried hard to mask that fact by accenting his speech?

I laughed my ass off a couple of days ago when dear old Gopisam took over my collegue and served a caucasian. He started over-emphasising his words which he feels will make him sound American and oh-so-cultured.

NOT.

More like a wanker born with a speech defect.

Now let us imagine him , bearing in mind that he looks like a failed experiment of a scientist's attempt to cross-breed between a chimpanzee and a sloth. Oh , the horror.

Gopisam : GOOD eve-NING ! how CAN i HELPCHU ?

Customer : Oh hi , an expresso please.

Gopisam : * tryin to make conversation* oh , one EXpresSO ? you LOOK tie-YERD ! just DOWN from EH flight ?

I noticed he prounces A as 'Eh' when trying to engage in a conversation with a caucasian. Not good.

CUstomer : * looking miffed and reluctant to talk* : Well yeah. Sorta.

Gopisam : oh I SEE. this EXpresSO WILL HELPCHU ! DUNCH WORRY !

---

I can't stand him.

----
Pierluigi Collina , Come home !
--

I couldnt help but look up on into for the referee of yesterday's match , the highly distinguished Pierluigi Collina .

He's italian , but most people would not dispute the possibility that he came from Mars.

I mean , look at him ! ( seen here next to a family member )

His bulbous looking head and bulging eye sockets all contribute to the classic facial features of a Martian.

Actually , i think he's rather cute :D

Then again i've been known to have very eccentric tastes so yeah.

I'm not sure if he lives up to his name as the world's top referee , i would prefer to think that his out-of-this-world looks propelled him to worldwide fame because of his apparent boo-boo in the match just now , when he didnt award a penalty to Czech early during the 2nd half
n
he stops the game too damn much ! I believe the game hasnt got at least 2 min of continuous smooth flowing play without hearing the whistle.

Czech lost !!!!!!!!

*tears at her hair*

OKay , im a before-spain-lost-i-was-a-spain-supporter-but-im-rooting-for-portugal-now person ( read : a portugal convert) so i didnt really gave a damn who won , but after taking a look at Greece's players name list i decided to scream my lungs out for Czech.

No offence to all Greeks out there..

But.

How the hell do you pronouce Theofanis Katergiannakis ?!?!

It sounds like a scientific name , you know , like how the Coconut is Cocos nucifera .

So Theofanis Katergiannakis would probably be Theo Kakis.

Speakin of scientific names , imagine how the scientists talk.

Wife : Oh darling ! I love this carribean holiday !

Scientist : Yes , the cocos nuciferas are so beautiful , swaying in the wind. Oh look , there are Campomanesia lineatifolias growing in bunches over there , lets go pick some.

How unromantic.

I stumbled across this fruit website
while lookin up on the scientific names ( OF COURSE ! Do you think i actually know the scientific names of the fruits?! )

Peanut-butter fruit anybody? How about a monkey fruit ? How about a sausage fruit from the sausage tree ? Or something off the fried egg tree ? Or a refreshing water lemon drink to quench your thirst ?

Rather interesting names , i must say.


Enough of this disgression. PLS IGNORE MY BOUT OF IRRELEVANCE.

Anyway.

After 100+ min of a goaless and rough game , Greece won.


AND HOW UNSPECTACULAR THE STOOPID GOAL WAS !!!!!!

It was just an unremarkable quiet goal from a corner. What an anti-climax. A penalty shootout would have been much more exciting . Punters , god bless.

---
Sometimes when we touch
---

Yay.

Its like 3am ,I'm at Mel's house right now with Yan , Ian , Qiang and Vanness.

Why am i here ?

Well , its just one those questions in life that you cant find an answer to.

Because i DON'T KNOW WHY I AM HERE ! LOL !

Okay , maybe to watch the Euro 2004 semi-final between Czech Rep and Greece , of which i'll be rootin for Czech.

His keyboard looks kind of dusty and grimey so i'm tapping the keys of his keyboard with the tips of my fingers with much caution. Sorry , old guy ! :DDDD

OKay the second half has started. Cya all soon.