The entry that was still here an hour or so ago has been deleted because it felt so whiney and full of self-pity that even i felt nauseated reading it.

Anyway.

"The year of the hamster" was a short but good documentary , well worth rushing home to catch it on Discovery just now.

They should have more documentaries on smaller critters like hamsters and mice instead of the usual reptiles and big cats.

Looking forward to "Meerkat Manor" alot.

Or has it started already ?

---
because i am fair-skinned
-----

Yesterday i experienced my first ever racial-discrimination against myself while on the NEL towards my grandma's.

Boarding the train at the ever-busy Dhoby Gaut station during peak hours always ensures standing for the rest of your journey which really sucks when all you want to do is to knock out after a loooong day in school.

And did i mention the brood of irritating aunties with the super protuding elbows always crowding around the doors , posed for action to elbow everyone out so that they would be the first in to select choice seats ?

Nabeh.. Fuck off !!

Anyway.

The ratio of empty seats outnumbered those fucked up aunties by 1 so i giggled my way to the empty corner seat .

There was a stern looking middle-aged indian woman beside the empty seat and as i walked past her , i thought i heard her snort and when i sat down she tsk-ed very loudly and i wondered what i had done to earn her ire.

I glanced at her and she eyeballed me and with that she stood up with another loud tsk and hoisted up her barangs-barangs between her feet and by then i was already quite pissed to be snubbed for apparently no reason.

Being the big fat meanie that i am , i decided to get even with her by holding my nose and tsk-ing equally loudly as she walked past me even though she didn't smell. Its a chinese racist thing la , to pretend that all indian people smelled. Yes i know that is damn fucking mean.

She must have noticed for she turned back to stare at me before rooting herself to a spot next to the door .

The next station was Little India , the station where quite a few passengers alight so there were empty seats around and i observed the spiteful lady.

Despite the number of empty seats , she chose to walk over to another end of the cabin to wedge her fat ass between a plump indian man ( much to his irritation because he scowled when she sat down HAHA ) and the corner.

THEN IT DAWNED ONTO ME THAT SHE MOVED AWAY SIMPLY BECAUSE SHE DID NOT LIKE ME , A CHINESE.

Then i realised how it must feel like to be a minority and to be shunned by the so-called "superior" race.

But i was still angry la.

Oh by the way i had Pepper's lunch a few days ago and i think it sucked.

Its just over-priced Teppan-Yaki !!!!

$16.50 for what you can get for $6 at food courts.. Thats simply crazy.




Initially i thought it was a place to have steak on a hot-place which was why i was looking so forward to having it and i assumed that it was good because of the long queues.

STEAK MY ASS!

Its just a few pieces of raw beef chunks of dubious quality that you have to fuss over because its DIY and i couldn't help but snigger at the stupid guy in at next table who obviously grew up without an ounce of culinary know-how because he did not flip the meat over and he got beef that's overdone on one side and bloody on the other.

For $16.50 i would rather have a meal at V8 ( yeah thats always the benchmark for me ) .

Now i know why there are long queues at Pepper Lunch.. its the "Got queue , must queue also because it must be good" mentality at its best.

And i'm one of the victims.

Good night.

------

listening to : kaiser chiefs - everyday i love you less and less !


-----

p/s : Anyone knows where i can rent SLR cameras ?!?!

-----
the problem with young girls
-----

Young girls nowadays scare the shit out of me.

Their transition from childhood to teenhood feels like it lasts only for a fleeting moment before they all bloom into stoic serious adults.

Yesterday on the train this person caught my eye as she was wearing a white tube top from Zara that i have and shamelessly i thought "Hey ! We have the same good taste !"

She was petite like me , but she was much shorter. Since she was facing the other side , i couldn't see her face.

When she turned around to sit beside me , i was shocked.

She.. looked so young !

Like 12 years old.

But what she wore was what most girls my age would wear. A tube , low-rise fitting jeans , heels and a white clutch bag.

I couldn't help but fixate my gaze onto her boobs which were quite a handful and i wondered if they were real or "made" with the help of her mother's bra ( stuffed with tissue )

I have reasons for my doubts because when i was in primary 6 i was a flat-chested singlet wearing kid , just like the other girls ( okay i still am)

I looked at her youthful girlish face not yet ravaged by the perils of puberty but already she was already hastening the aging process by unecessarily caking her face with make up.

I rested my head against the window and sighed.

When i was still 12 , i wore whatever my aunties bought me ( of which i suspect came out from the sales bin )

Now , i am shopping side by side with pre-pubescent young girls spouting accented english ( SPGs in the making ! ) at Zara or even Guess.

What the fuck ? They even have spending power !

When i was 12 ( Yes i know i'm long winded ) , i had only one dollar a day for pocket money . All of which was spent on ice-cream cones or the card-vending machine for Street Fighter cards .

I looked at the girl beside me fingering her primary school concession card with blood-red nails and sighed.

If i have a daughter , i will never allow her to indulge in such nonsense before she turns 16. Of course i'll allow her to be stylish but never will i allow her to dress so maturely before her time.

I know i am prejudiced against convent schools , but i would very much prefer to send my girl to a co-ed primary school because i don't like what i've seen so far.

Little girls in pinafores with PSLE assesment books on the tables making a din at a fast-food place , gossiping about how "Emily went to seduce Janice's boyfriend , isn't she such a bitch !?!"

Very disturbing , considering it came from a primary school kid.

And then i've seen girls who obviously look barely-legal shaking their booties so violently at clubs ( probably having gained entry with fake ids ) that their panties were visible because their ultra mini skirts were twirling like a high speed fabric carousel.


Bonjour mon petit dame

I might be wrong about them though , since i look 16 myself and i know how it feels to be assessed purely based on looks alone and not getting taken seriously.

Okay.... i digress.

It has been a very busy weekend.

-----

listening to : the bees - the sky holds the sun

---
random ( okay , not so random ) freeze frames
---

I've been a good girl today .I stayed home to mug for my econs paper tomorrow and the sheer boredom of it is driving me up the wall so i've decided to blog to release some tension.

But as i sat down to type , realisation sank in that i've been hit by a bad bout of writer's block lately , as you can see from the lack of long posts recently.

So i guess i'll let my photos do the talking .

-

Went exploring with lx a week or so ago and we went to the vacant Hillview estate !!

It was amazing , the place reminded me so much of my first home in Bedok.

Not to mention surreal , because the estate overlooks an overgrown plot of land which lx says its Bukit Batok hill or something. Very very nice.

And whoever said Singapore was boring ?? You guys should just go out more instead of just congregating in town and wasting money on inane entertainment like playing pool.




Pipe.



A road to nowhere



The lift that will never operate again

--




My 3 week old experiment. Yep.. Pieces of cheese gone mouldy and sealed in an air-tight container . The latest additions to the merry trio of smelly cheese are two pieces of bread and a fragment of a french fry. I probed at the cheese today with a toothpick while holding my nose and to my surprise it didn't disintegrate into a mushy lump. Instead it was rock hard.



Taken a few days ago just before heading out , with unstyled hair and my old glasses which i wear only at home. Classic act cute picture la ok ?

Oh and i was very happy to receive an email from Gladys asking how i went about making my eyelashes look like that.

Sweetie , always CURL them with a lightly heated eyelash curler ( i usually use a hairdryer for that purpose ) before applying on 3 coats of mascara. After which curl them again with minimal pressure ( you wouldn't want those delicate lashes to fall off )

--

I AM A SHOEWHORE !!

I love vintage stuff , and my weakness applies to shoes as well. I got this lovely red pair quite some time ago and sadly i can't wear it because it gave me blisters so horrible the last time i wore it out that i had to buy another pair of shoes to wear. And i was hobbling all the way after that.



Very classic.. Very retro.. Very painful.



I love how they make my feet look so dainty



Another old-school kind of shoe made from plastic and gave me equally painful blisters. FUCK.



SO CUTE RIGHT.

Just like what i would always wear when i was still in pre-school.

--
And rounding things up.. A very blur picture of Emi and me ( Bo pian lah thats the only pic we took ) .. Taken last week




And now.. Time to hit the books again.

---

listening to : Goo goo dolls - iris

----
Punch drunk love
----

The couple gazed into each others' eyes , arms so entwined around each other's neck that strangulation's almost certain , her waist grinding against his hip in a slow dance-like fashion.

Sex with the clothes on , i call it.

They were so in their own world that their tray of fresh coffee must have been like a silhouette in a thick dense fog and everyone else fading into oblivion.

I was impressed with their formidable skills of being able to balance a laden tray with arms still around each other's necks , even though the tray swayed precariously as they walked back to their table.

They looked inebriated . But certainly not from the effects of excessive alcohol ( an effect i know too well )

I had forgotten about them until i walked out from the cafe and i saw them huddled closed to each other in a one-seater sofa , heads bowing down together as if deep in prayer , her leg draped across his' in a come-hither manner.

Their coffees still untouched , the lovely cappucino foam reduced to a mere smudge of brown.

I wondered what they were whispering about. But i guessed as much.

"Oh , Sally . You smell wonderful. I love you so much."

"Oh Ben , i love you so much too."

"Sally.. You're my sweet strawberry cream filled pie !"

"Oh Ben... You're so sweet.. You're my cute little fluffy white bunny !"

"Sally Sally .. Did i mention how much i love you ?"

"Yes you did , about a second ago. But don't stop."

"I love you , Sally. So much. Do you know that ?"

"Yes i do .. I love you that much too you know , Ben ?"

"Oh Sally.. Hearing my name on your lips makes me dizzy with happiness. I love you .."

"Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben"

"Oh oh oh .. Please don't torture me like that.. I'm gonna need aspirin to cure my dizzy spell.. Sally.. I'm so in love with you.. Your lips are secret territorries of which i will conquer.."

"Oh , conquer me now , Ben . There will be no fight , i shall wave the white flag and surrender myself to you , my valiant conquerer , my knight in shining armour , my greek god "

"Oh Sally , My love. My one and only. My aphrodite .. I love you.."

"Oh Ben . You don't know how much i love you ..."

"I will never leave you....Sally..."

"I love you..."

And then a kiss so passionate , its almost porn .

---

Perth : The Geylang massacre is really one fucking good movie.

I neber bluff , hor.

----
insatiable
--

I don't know why am i doing this to myself at 8.15am.

Surfing the web for chocolate cakes at this time only serves to make me gnarl my teeth in
sheer frustration because it fuels my craving for a slice of luscious chocolate fudge cake..

lx and i made the long pilgrimage to the legendary Lana Cakes shop which has attained cult-status last week and although we gained nothing from the trip because advanced orders were needed , i took in a long whiff of the heavenly aroma in the shop and i could not take my mind off chocolate cakes since then.

Imagine..

Moist chocolate cake ..

Decadent layers of shiny fudge..

Pop it into a microwave oven for a few seconds and you get a slice oozing with warm
chocolate oozing out ..

A slice of warm chocolate cake so soft that it yields completely to the slight pressure from a fork.



I could lick my screen now so badly but 19 years of maturity taught me not to.

Since Lana Cakes' is too inaccesible , i have decided to finally get my chocolate fix from one of these places later

1) Jane's cake station @ Jalan Kayu

or

2) Awfully Chocolate @ Katong

Till then i shall keep my craving in check by nibbling on kit-kat , which is really a poor substitute.



if looking at this alone makes me shudder from pure pleasure , a single bite would give me mutiple orgasms.



zenith

*rips at her hair*

--
sadism
---

I am no sadist ( or so i think ) but i really enjoy reading the works of the infamous Marquis de Sade , whose works are banned from being sold here in our-children-must-remain-uncorrupted Singapore.

Oh , silly silly gahmen.

Those exact same children you try so hard to protect , they are downloading porn by the giga-loads and wanking off in front of the monitor.

Anyway.

Although i am supposed to study now for my exams next week , i can't help but remained glued to the screen as i lose myself in the writings of the Marquis.

Online version of course.

An excerpt from 120 days of Sodomy :


"A moment passes, then he grasps my two buttocks, spreads them, poses his open mouth upon the hole, fastens his lips hermetically to it, and immediately, pursuant to the signal he gives me and in obedience to the considerable pressure that has built up within me, I unleash a booming fart, possibly the most explosive one he has received in all his life; it shoots down his gullet and he backs away, furious.

"What the devil!" he cries, "so you are so bold as to fart into my mouth, are you?"

And he straightway claps his mouth to my asshole again.

"Yes, Monsieur," I say as I release a second stifler, "that's how I deal with gentlemen who kiss my ass."

"Very well then! fart, if you must, you little rascal, since you can't help it, fart, I say, fart as hard as you like and as often as you can."

He fetched up a chair and seated himself by the bed, then returned to caressing my bum, the mere sight of which appeared to intoxicate him; he spread my buttocks for a moment and I felt his tongue sound deep into my entrails, this, said he, in order beyond any shadow of equivocation to verify whether indeed the hen were inclined to lay; I report his own expressions to you. All this while, I was not touching him, not at that stage, he was himself lightly stroking the dry little member I had just brought from its lair.

"Are you ready, my child?" he asked. "For it is high time we undertake our task; your shit seems to me as it should be, I've established that, remember to shit gradually, a little at a time, and always wait until I have consumed one morsel before pushing out the next. My operation takes quite a while, so don't be in haste. A light slap on your ass will notify you that I'm ready for more, but see to it that I get no more than a bite."

Having then adopted the most comfortable position, he glued his mouth to the object of his worship, and in less time than it takes to tell I delivered a gobbet of shit the size of a pigeon's egg. He sucked it, turned it a thousand times about in his mouth, chewed it, savored it, at the end of three or four minutes I distinctly saw him swallow it; I push again, the same ceremony is repeated, and as I had a prodigious charge to be rid of, ten times over he filled his mouth and emptied it, and even after all was done he seemed famished still."


Oh , sweet debauchery !

He is a fucking misunderstood genius.

----
an ode to the ex
----

Uncovered this from some forum which i wrote eons ago. I might have posted this up before but i am too lazy to sieve through my archives. hehehe. I am actually quite surprised that i am actually the author.

And oh it isn't meant to be a poem ( i don't know what it is either ) so it sounds quite disconnected.

----

Ode to the ex

you had the corniest pick-up line ever
but yet
i succumbed to it
if only because
i saw your Rolex .
only to discover
it was a cheap imitation
a few months later.

your conviction
was never apparent.

for all the times when you mocked
with evident disdain
at the growing folds of my stomach
and the decreasing elasticity
of my arms
And my losing battle with gravity and cellulite.

i don't mean to taunt
but
i've always bemused
about the loss
of your left testicle.
not that the lone ranger was
particularly conspicuous either.

even the cauliflower-like growth
on the rim
of your ass
is bigger.

why is it that
you never can last
for more than
a fleeting moment ?
am i that good
or is it just you ?

your size
pales in comparision
to a baby gherkin.
i was just too polite
to complain.
while others made
a grand entrance
yours barely
made an impression.

your mediocre bedroom antics
are just mere fodder
for my amusement.

my paycheck
twice of yours.
do you really not care
because your inferiority acts up
when you refuse
to let me go on top
egoistic bastard.

hell hath no fury
like a woman scorned.
believe it when i say
this shit's gonna circulate around
like a case of
bad karma.

i'll never miss you.
in case you were wondering

and yes

i was faking it all the while.

Even if i came
its only because
i was fantasising
about your best friend
he does it much better
than you.

------
disgust
----

Overheard in the ladies' @ Double-O just now :

"Like seriously i've been with two asian guys before and i swear to god they're not impressive , like totally ! Urghhh."

So i turn around to see this long haired bitch who was a complete walking fashion disaster in a floral sun-dress and BLACK HIGH HEELS.

Darling , beachwear and stilettos DO NOT go together.

Her nail polish was chipped some more. Wah lao.

I recognised her immediately because i had noticed her canoodling with a fat stumpy ang-moh on the podium and my first thought

"fucking SPG !!!!!!!!"

So she continues yakking away to her equally pretentious friends ( looking very much enrapt as if they were impressed. gross ) in her incredibly fake accent and my disdain grew as she rattled on animatedly about her "escapades" while i washed my hands.

I think it is absolutely okay to have preferences , just like how i find men with a brit accent cute.

But it is definitely NOT okay to worship the blue-eyed species and treating your own kind with contempt.

The way she spoke , it was as if dating an ang-moh was such a fucking big deal , like she was so fucking attractive that she could get a blonde dick to impale her.

I shouldn't be stereotyping but i guess its a well-known fact that the sexual appetites of ang-mohs are insatiable .

So as long as you are willing to spread your legs then ta-dah~!

You've got yourself an ang-moh man.

I hope that she gets kidnapped by a gang of asian necrophiliacs.

----
bus rides
---

As most of you would have known by now, i am an avid fan of long bus rides.

I especially love it when the bus is chilly and quiet , with a heavy thunderstorm brewing outside , creating translucent ribbons of water streaming down the windows while i am plugged in to good music.

Even better if i have a nice warm shoulder to lean on but oh well .

As i was saying..

I took bus 72 a couple of days ago and jumped at the chance of this lovely photo opportunity



Just some tired foreign workers to you but how often do you see them actually resting on a bed of felled branches on a lorry ?!

I've always liked foreign workers , a real friendly bunch but sadly they're often stereotyped.

And then i was mystified by this sight



I don't know what the fuck they are though they look uncannily like helipads to my simple mind but its unlikely that there are two helipads in the middle of Old Tampines road ( then again Paya Lebar airbase is just next to it but still it makes no sense to put them outside the airbase )

Okay i sound like a hair twirling bimbo.

Someone please solve the mystery !

alex feels otherwise-

r ҳ - ΑΛΕΞΑΝΔΡΟΣ says:
could be some kinda mills. for grains. for the fuckin gahmen emergency storage

r ҳ - ΑΛΕΞΑΝΔΡΟΣ says:
or sthg. conspiracy theory!

Scenery aside , please take a second to observe the following photos








So what do they have in common ?

Yes you are right.

They are all photos of selfish people.

Note that they are all sitting in the aisle seat when there is nobody next to them.

Its fine with me if the bus isn't crowded , i don't care.

BUT THE BUS WAS FUCKING CROWDED WHEN I TOOK THESE PHOTOS ( All taken at the same time ) AND THESE BITCHES WOULD NOT NUDGE?!

I was just slightly miffed when i saw not one but three such selfish bitches .

However my wrath escalated when the bus suddenly braked and I ( along with the rest of the standing passengers ) almost tumbled to the front of the bus if not for our fast reflexes .

Nabeh , if lim bu fell and fractured the bones in my ass i'll buy a voodoo doll and curse you with incurable super itchy genital herpes and acute ezcema on your anus so that you will scratch them until they become infected and pus will ooze out from your nether orifices and that will cause them to be smelly.

Some of you may argue that they would move to allow you to get to the seat next to them or that they are already alighting .

NO EXCUSES LOR.

Whats wrong with sitting in the window seat anyway ?

And i don't see why you should compromise on the convenience of the rest of the passengers for your own. nabeh.

The next time i see any selfish acts on public transportation , i will give no face hor.

I don't care if i get beaten up taking photos.

Anyway i am very discreet. Hehehehe.

Oh and it is definitely an advantage to be female cus' nobody gives a shit to a schoolgirlish person with a camera phone.

WATCH OUT !!!

-----

listening to : story of the year - sidewalks

--
REI ITOU IS SO HOT !!!!!
---



I like her eyebrows alot.

--

new photos uploaded !

http://www.flickr.com/photos/hammie

--
the skinny on being skinny
---

I really hate it when people ( or friends for that matter ) come up to me and exclaim "Fiona you so SO skinny !" or even worse , ask me questions like "Are you anorexic ?!"

For the last time time , fuck you. I am not anorexic.

My appetite is voracious and healthy and i eat enough for two.

It just so happens that i am blessed ( cursed ? ) to be born into a family where everyone else looks elongated.

I feel especially riled when the advisers ( "Oh fiona you should eat more carbo , drink more milk.. EAT MORE ! MORE ! " ) themselves have a weight problem , with the size of their thighs being the circumference of my ass (okay so i have a small ass but that is not the point )

I sometimes seriously question the motives behind their seemingly concerned facades.

Stop moping about how fat you look compared to me when you stuff yourself with Macdonald's every other day.

Nobody is going to be sympathetic.

If you thought that all the slim and beautiful people were born looking fabulous with 24" waists , then wake up and smell the shit.

Its your own fault that you look more like Missy Elliot than Gisele when the only form of exercise you get is walking towards the kitchen to get more potato chips.

So anyway i got pretty pissed a few days ago during class.

I had barely unwrapped my bar of Uncle Toby's chocolate chip granola bar when my concerned classmate exclaimed

"My god.. Are you anorexic ? Why are you eating this ?!"

"Whats wrong with Uncle Toby's ?!"

"Nothing.. Just that the anorexic girls in our class eat this for their meals so that they could lose weight"

Because i knew that it was futile to explain myself because of how skinny i look , i just gave her a polite smile and went back to my granola bar ( i love them )

Which brainless girl eats granola bars on diets anyway.. The carbohydates in the bar alone is enough to make any fan of the Atkin's Diet go into spasms.

If this post offended you , my apologies. I am usually not an angry person but when you get inane questions shoved into your face like for the third consecutive time , it happens.

Contrary to popular belief , we skinny girls are as self-conscious as the bigger girls.

Whenever i get stared at , i'll start to feel inferior and my pace will naturally hasten.

I get upset whenever i am unable to buy clothes that are fitting instead of just hanging on me like a bedsheet on a bamboo pole, just like how bigger girls get upset when they are unable to fit into their clothes.

I get depressed when i get comments from people that my boobs are non-existent , or when my guy friends starts comparing my chest to theirs even though i laugh it off most the times because i am so chummy with them.

Oh well.

I guess nobody is perfect eh. Cliched !

I get alot of remarks from girls that they want to be able to be as thin as me , and i just want to say that it is impossible to achieve it through healthy means and even if they DO slim down that much , they will still look like crap because of the extreme weight loss that will lead to a disgusting complexion , horrible stretch marks and loose skin hanging off their bones.

NOT very attractive.

Anyway.

Time to head out for chilli crab with the folks , followed by Cabson's birthday bash .

Booya !



Skinny but healthy and happy ( most of the time anyway without the disparaging comments )

**

New pics uploaded in Flickr !

-----
dreadful
---

I think one of the most dreaded situations while on a date is to realise with horror that you have a piece of leafy vegetable stuck between your teeth only AFTER you have reached home.

Then it finally dawns upon you why the whole time your date averted his eyes away from you everytime you laughed or smiled.

----
woooohoo
---

I love economics.

I love demand curves , perfect markets , diminishing marginal returns and of course how can one forget good ol' elasticity ?

Fuck.

I wonder how am i going to pass this module.

Help.

**Update**

Okay the time is 4am now and i have just woken up after two hours of sleeping suffering from a terrible attack of the munchies.

I am so craving for steak.

And i have to wake up at 7am later.

---
an NDP affair
----

Happy National Day , folks.

Now while National Day serves to evoke thoughts of independance , patriotism ( the gahmen certainly hopes so ) or a day trip to Johor to stock up on groceries , i can never associate National Day with anything else except for ** whom i had a brief "affair" with last year around this time.

Last year's National Day was spent with him at my cousin's place . In between trying to drum some tips into his distracted mind for his upcoming english oral examinations , we caught the NDP live on TV and expressed resentment about not being able to catch the fireworks in person but we did so anyway a few days later at the fireworks festival.

I don't know why but i was so besotted with him to the extent that looking back , i feel nothing but a loss of self-worth . Although it wasn't like i was being at his beck and call , he could have done alot more to show his appreciation for what i have done instead of taking it for granted.

I remember very vividly one sunny ( read : fucking hot ) day in August , i was in the middle of filming a commercial ad and i received a missed call from him. Naturally i was thrilled since he usually never calls so i called him back the moment we took a break. What followed was a conversation that will forever be etched in my memory. He sounded abnormally calm when asked me a question which i perceived as oddly random at first.

"Eh , do you know what is a blog?"

My heart froze. Please , don't tell me that he had read my blog because i had written so much about him and i would most certainly die from embarrasement if he reads it.

"Er.. Yah.. Why ?"

"Oh no lah , just asking. So you know how to blog right?"

I bit my lip.

"Yes.. Actually i have one.."

Silence.

I could hear him taking inhaling deeply as if he was trying to restrain himself.

"Oh really."

That reply.. His voice sounded so alien , so aloof ..

"Er.. Yah.. why ?"

Silence again.

"BECAUSE I HAVE READ IT , THATS WHY !!"

He was literally yelling and i was left breaking out in cold sweat , mouth gaping wide in shock.

Why was he so angry ?

"Why are you so angry ?"

He was furious and i was at the receiving end of his fury.

"BECAUSE I DO NOT LIKE PEOPLE TO KNOW EVERY LITTLE ACTION ABOUT ME"

Yes , i have written about our dates but details were never explicit. And i gave him a pseudonym. I could not understand his anger.

"But i didn't write alot what.. "

He cut me off mid-sentence

"Do you know that most of our friends read your blog ?"

"No.. They do ?"

"Fuck , yes they do. J called me today to ask whether that person Fiona is writing about is me. So now the whole world knows , are you happy now ?"

"So what ? Its not as if we're doing something shameful here"

I just had to ask.

Wrong question.

"I JUST DON'T LIKE IT YOU UNDERSTAND!?!"

"But its my blog .."

"SO WHAT?"

He hung up on me after that and i was in a state of disbelief. Not knowing what to do and left with minutes before filming resumed , i had to find a solution. And quickly.

I called Pek who was at home

"Pek.. Please do me a favour.... Here is my blogger password and here's what you should do.."

Silly eager-to-please me had done what i should not have. Which was to give him to him despite it clearly being a situation where i was obviously right but yet he still emerged victor.

Having deleted the offending entries , i sms-ed XXX to inform him and he replied

"Don't ever let me read anything about myself ever again"

I was very affected and my composure was unsteady throughout the entire shoot . I was chiding myself for blogging about him and incurring his wrath.

What a wimp i was !

Why he was so anal about getting mentioned on my blog , i will never know.

Maybe he finds it a disgrace to be seeing someone like me.

Or that seeing me was supposed to be a hush-hush affair.

Oh well.

It has already been a year since he left me without an explanation and that period of time was one of my bleakest ever . I managed to get over him though.

He is now still happily attached to my good friend and they make a really cute couple.

So anyway.

The time is now 10am and i'm headin back to sleep after satisfying a sudden craving for instant mee-goreng with a sunny side up .

Once again , happy 40th birthday , Singapore.

STAND UP FOR SINGAPORE !


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p/s : More photos uploaded in Flickr !! http://www.flickr.com/photos/hammie

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random post
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Behold...

The power of make-up !!

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now thats what i call a BURGER
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Fuck off , Macdonalds , Burger King and all the other fast-food chains which sells what they claim to be burgers.

Because you haven't truly eaten a burger when you haven't tried Carl's Jr !!!!!

Thats right.

I am officially Carl's Jr number one fan despite having only eaten their humongous burgers twice.

It is so good that even though i was pretty full after catching the fireworks festival @ the Esplanade just now , i just had to satisfy my sudden craving for Carl's Jr.

Some people were disgusted after finding out about my love for supposedly "manly" food such as Subway sandwiches and Carl's Jr. because most girls don't like them , either because they are too sinful due to the unhumane proportions or are just plain messy to eat.

To me i think the latter is one good reason why i will not be caught dead stuffing my face with a Subway sandwich or a Carl's Jr burger on the first few dates because i will not want to be seen with my mouth stretched wide to accomodate the massive bread or have mayonaise or barbeque sauce dripping from my chin.

So anyway.

I shared a double bacon cheese burger , criss-cut fries and a soda with Yan just now and gosh.

It was orgasmic.



She had an orgasm shortly after this photo was taken.




Love at first bite. Whaddya mean that its sinful ?!

But then again to be honest the patties weren't as juicy as the Star burger ( I'm proud to proclaim i finished the entire burger by myself ) i had with P a couple of weeks back , probably due to the crowd that had spilled over from the fireworks festival ( it was so fucking crowded we waited like 15 mins to get seated. But then again kudos to the staff for being so efficient , serving us our makan within 10 minutes despite the crowd. HELLO Phin's
steakhouse PLEASE TAKE A LEAF FROM CARL'S JR BOOK. ASSHOLES. )

The burger we had just now consists two beef patties , two slices of cheese , bacon strips which were disappointingly soggy , tangy BBQ sauce and onion rings of which whose presence went unoticed because the flavours of the other ingredients simply overwhelmed it.

I still relished every bite i had though my stomach were bursting at the seams and i particularly love the fresh salsa dip which I thought went very well with both the burger and fries.

Finally a reason to rejoice the fact that i have a super-duper high metabolism rate ( No , i am not anorexic )

I have been eating too much unhealthy stuff and meat recently.. Time to go on a detox diet for two days to purge my system from all those toxins !!

Yes , i love salads . ( nooooooooooooooooooooo )

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listening to : Story of the Year - Until the day i die

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P/s :

I've finally got a flickr account !! Still in its infancy but i will add on to it when i have the time =)

And i'm still figuring out how the hell to incorporate the flickr badge into my links.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/hammie/

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40 mistakes men make during sex
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I am definitely no sex guru but i saw this while randomly surfing some forums just now and had a chuckle over this.

By the way.. Its a friday night and i'm home and i was feeling quite miserable but as the saying goes "No big loss without some small gain" and damn right it is !

From my room i suddenly heard the familiar strains of a song by.....

NICKY LEE !!!!!!!!!! ( A.k.a Xiao Pang from Machi )

And i immediately dashed out from my room and THERE HE WAS ON TV !!

I almost had an orgasm on the spot.

He and Soo Kui Jien have permanent spots on the top of my list but of course Jay Chou and Johnny Depp will always occupy the reigning positions.

Yes i am a fangirl. *JAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYy WO AI NI !!!! NGOR OI LEI !!!"

Anyway.

Here goes the list ( of course this should be taken with a pinch of salt cus' if everyone followed a set of rules.. half the fun would be gone ! )


1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out
nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance. ( On the contrary i find stubble very macho . Heh )

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a dogie toy, isn't.

6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.

7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.

8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.

9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.

13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not. ( LOL !!!! )

14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.

15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.
You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.
Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
A man in socks and underpants is at his worst. Lose the socks first. ( Its akin to seeing those PRC men with their faux leather shoes and above-ankle length white socks )

18) GOING TOO FAST.
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

19) GOING TOO HARD.
If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

20) COMING TOO SOON.
Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask

23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.
Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.

26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
This is how men earn a rep*tation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

30) TAKING PICTURES.
When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words" to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.

31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no. ( Why not hot wax ? Pain is good when its wanted :D )

32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

35) GIVING LOVE BITES.
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.

36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.
Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.

37) TALKING DIRTY.
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know

38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.

39) SQUASHING HER.
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.

40) THANKING HER.
Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.

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listening to : Opeth - Circle of Tyrants

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p/s : I feel like a bimbo for blogging all these but hey good stuff must share mah !!

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fiona the delinquent. almost.
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Okay so i had my econs test today and while thumbing through the textbook while in the cab to school , i realised in horror that i have yet to memorise quite a few formulas.

With only two more traffic lights before my destination ( and my doom ) , it was impossible to cram everything into my dense head.

So.

I.

Decided.

To.

Cheat.

Thats right.

I hastily scribbled some funky looking formula into my palm and hopped off the cab.

Anyway turned out that was no question that needed the formula so i didn't really cheat , did I ? :P

But i have a feeling i'm going to flunk that test anyway and well Grace and I sort of "exchanged" tips during the test , i kinda heeded her advice to change one of my answers because she felt that hers was the correct one.

Well.

Upon leaving the room after the test i consulted the book and realised we were both wrong anyway.

Hahaha.

Reminds me of my secondary school days when i used to stuff little notes crammed with microscopic illegible handwriting into my pencil case for exams and tests.

But somehow the teachers managed to uncover our ruse and since then we weren't allowed to put our pencil cases on the table ; only stationary.

So i resorted to writing the answers on my thigh and during tests i would pull up the hem of my skirt to reveal the answer . LOL

Am i brilliant or what !

But i stopped after a few attempts because it felt weird to be pulling up your skirt halfway through tests.

What would the rest think if they saw me !?

So.

I even had the balls to copy the letterwriting format for my O'Levels mother tongue exams in the chinese dictionary that was allowed into the examination hall for us to refer to.

Till now i shudder to think about it .. What if i was caught ?

I'll never be able to graduate from secondary school.. EVER !


CRIME DOES NOT PAY.

In other news , my weekend feels so terribly empty that for once i'm not in the TGIF mood.

Nothing to look forward to .

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we need YOUR support !
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Good evening little boys and little girls !

Check this out !

http://www.swf.sg/competition-100word-vote.php?p=1

Yep ! Its the Singapore Writer's Fest once again and this is the second time i'm taking part so please do your part to show support for local writers by voting for the epics you like best. Heh. To play fair i'm not going to beg for votes but i'll shamelessly hint that mine is on either page 11 or 12 so if you have read this blog long enough my dear readers ( yes , all 3 of you ) i guess you'll be able to sniff out my writing style. :D

Secondly my friend David ( a.k.a D.av.id , from The Vibesetters ) will be spinning on Friday ( 5/8 ) night with Radiance and Communique Records at Home Club from 10-11pm and again after 3.am for the After House Party !

Details can be found here

http://www.homeclub.com.sg/push0508.html

I can help you get invites so don't hesitate to drop me a comment with your name =)
[ by 2pm tomorrow if possible ! no guarantees heh ]

Oh by the way i went for retail therapy just now with Gwen and it was fucking awesome , not to mention therapeutic and a welcome distraction.

Definitely a great way to put the smile back on my face though i can't say the same when my monthly bank statement arrives at the end of the month. Hur hur.

Thanks for the concern people =) I feel sooooo loved.

Time to mug for my damned econs test tomorrow morning. Shite.

Fuck econs.

I am sad.

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its all bad.
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On the rare occasion that i get the chance to catch the 7pm show ( i normally reach home just after 8 , bloody hell.) , i am usually a happy couch potato fixated on the TV screen to indulge in some dramatic Channel 8 drama series.

No kidding , i am actually quite a fan of local drama series , especially those set in the pre-war era such as The price of Peace , Bukit Ho Swee and soap-opera spinoffs such as Holland Village ( I was such a big fan , i rushed home everytime after school when i was in sec 4 to catch it ).

However , the current series that is showing during the 7pm slot right now is FUCKING CRAP.

Initially i was quite drawn to it because it was so alike to Holland Village.

And then it got sucked into a downward spiral.. The vortex of no return .

I am especially irritated by the too-good-to-be-true characters of Ruan Mian Mian and Dahai.

They virtually have no temper and speak in such a way that you cringe whenever they open their mouths , especially Dahai whose sentences always come out sounding so deliberate and emo , that it reminds me of being in the middle of a particularly stubborn shit and then just someone just has to talk to you in the middle of it all.

Okay enough of the endless nonsense ( and of course the loopholes but i shall not bore you with my findings ) in the script.

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Wah biang eh.
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I cannot help but want to hurl whenever a pair of reel lovers lapse into a dialogue so bloody corny that i am sure nobody in real life has ever spoken like this before.

Jimei : I forgave you because i know you have regretted your actions..

Dahai : Yes and i promise to never let you down again.

Jimei : *rubs finger against Dahai's chest* And because you love me with all your heart

Dahai : *holds Jimei's finger* No , its not just love.. Its a love so deep.. So very deep.

Jimei : Oh Dahai.. *snuggles against his chest* You will take care of me forever right ?

Dahai : Of course.. I will protect you .. and take care of you and love you with all my heart , Jimei. *kisses her forehead*

Jimei : *stares at Dahai with watery puppy eyes* Oh Dahai..

Dahai : Jimei....

And of course , all these followed by an embrace.

*tears at her hair*

Of course in every girl there is a hopeless romantic who dreams of such encounters but even then , there is a fine line between romance and trashy mushiness.

I would very much prefer the script to go

Jimei : Oi , you really regretted your actions right ?

Dahai : Ya lah.. I promise no more next time

Jimei : Really ?

Dahai : Really lah.. Promise plus chop chop guarantee

Jimei : Really huh.. If not i will bite off yr kukubird hor

Dahai : Wah fierce sia.. But thats why i love you mah. *sheepish grin*

Jimei : *pretends to smack him* Tao yan.. Confirm you love me or not ?

Dahai : Confirm lah.. Chop chop guarantee !

Jimei : I want to hear !!

Dahai : Mai lah..

Jimei : *pouts*

Dahai : Okay okay.. I lub .. You lah !

**Looks into each other's eyes followed by the mandatory kiss **

Not forgetting the optional ( and definitely cliched ) scene of them falling into bed and then disappearing under the covers afterwhich the scene ends with violent movements ( one wonders if they are actually executing karate chops or doing cartwheels ) under the blankets.

But really , who the hell makes out under blankets. Its high time they use another scene to depict intercourse , for example , a female hand gripping the edge of the bed tightly.

I kid , i kid.

I am suddenly reminded of tamil drama series where they depict intercourse in an even more subtle way.

Imagine :
Indian couple sitting on the bed , man slowly pushes the woman towards the bed but before we get to see her actually being pinned down the camera pans towards the window with flowy white curtains flapping gently in the breeze and the soft glow of a single kerosene lamp which surprisingly extinguishes itself slowly despite the flame being enclosed in the lamp. fade to black.

Same goes for chinese period dramas except that the kerosene lamp is replaced by a traditional red candle .

Funny sia.

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listening to : kaiser chiefs - everyday i love you less and less ( i am SO in love with this song )