orgasmic hamsters

orgasmic hamsters






Monday, February 28, 2005

vice versa

It baffles me all the time when my mind acts the exact opposite way i expect it to be.

Like for example , despite the fact that i've had 3 expressos , a can of red bull and a bottle of chicken essence a few hours ago , i feel drowsy and ready to surrender to my bed already.

Actually i've already expected it , because i have psyched myself to stay awake no matter what to complete my advertising assignment tonight .

Confused ?

To cut a long story short : I feel tired when i'm not supposed to , and restless as hell when i'm supposed to.

I've always refrained from drinking coffee even if my bedtime is 12 hours away because i know very well that when it is time for me to sleep , my mind will keep reminding me of the tiny dose of caffeine i had in the morning and somehow i will be convinced that the caffeine is still working its magic and i will definitely lose my rest. 100% guarantee plus chop.


Yes , i'm sure my body has a mind of its own.

A mischevious one at that.

Its evident even way back in my lower secondary school days when my hand would inevitably start doodling on my textbook when i'm in the midst of copying notes.

Or when i've been craving for that bowl of prawn noodles the whole morning , i would go queue at the wrong stall and order a char siew bao and realise my mistake only when i have sat down with my purchase.

And its still happening .

I would purposely miss the stop i was supposed to alight at because my mind tells me that its still early , why not sit comfortably in the bus and enjoy the air conditioning awhile more ? You can always take a bus back to that stop later .


I must not sleep . I must not sleep.


listening to : disturbed - get psycho


Sunday, February 27, 2005


It is sad that society has come to associate a lone figure with all the wrong descriptions like "pariah" , "social misfit" , "introvert" ,"friend-less" , "depressed" or even "suicidal". ( actually i think to end this sentence with a exclaimation mark would be more appropiate heh )

Earlier on in the afternoon today before i headed to the airport to work , i popped into town feeling mighty gleeful with a $50 Borders voucher from my aunt . For almost two months i had gone without buying any new books and my wish-list was getting longer by the day because i kept blowing money on clothes , food and hamster accessories .

Was it just me , or did people keep giving me sympathetic stares as i trotted down Orchard underpass alone ?

During those trips i've made on my own to places like Chinatown , Little india etc ( mostly during a few months ago when i've caught the shutter-bug and i was a familiar figure in those areas harassing people and objects with my camera but unfortunately i busted the memory card before i could even upload/print it ) , i've never felt more comfortable without a companion and i understood the simple pleasures of being able make decisions without seeking approval from another person .

But not when i'm in town jostling with the throngs of young and reckless ( and brainless ) people . Don't ask ; i don't know why either .

The stigma has become so bad that i feel compelled to make sure that i look like i am waiting for someone when i am waiting for someone at the train station by pacing up and down , looking at my phone every few minutes with a why-the-hell-has-he-not-called-me-yet expression and the classic neck-craning exercises to look as if i am scanning the crowds for someone.

Just so that people will know that i am waiting for somebody and that i'm not alone even though chances are nobody gives a fuck anyway.


I bet the all the local Mormons ( or the latter-day saints . whatever you call 'em ) have congregated earlier in the morning with a mission : to bug each and everyone of us to try and convert us with dire warnings of an impending doomsday where all ye sinners will be condemned to eternal damnation but ultimately their preaching will backfire and people will dismiss them as buggers .

Because i have encountered not one but three of 'em in a SINGlE DAY.

And i believe each of them noticed that i was alone and hence the topic du jour .

The first mormon was a quiet one. i didn't even realise she was talking to me ( i only noticed her walking beside me the moment i stepped out from the station into the open ) until i stopped at the trafic light. She was mumbling away ( thankfully ) inaudibly and while flipping at this book she was holding ( a bible ? not too sure ) .

I know i was really rude to do so but once the pedestrians started crossing the road , i quickly made myself melt into the crowd by taking two steps back and going left until i was out of her sight before dashing into Wheelock place. LOL . I'm such a sneaky asshole .

I thought i had seen the last of her kind but i was so wrong .

While flipping through this highly overrated book by Dan Brown ( i'm sure you guys know which one . ) , i felt someone pat my shoulder and going "sister , i would advise you not to read this book for its harmful to one's religious faith".

I would have gone and smacked the person in the face with this hardcover book for disturbing my train of thoughts if not for the fact that she had this amazingly benevolent face that seemed to radiate inner peace and contentment ( no kidding , balls ) .

Then i saw the dog-tag she had around her neck just like the earlier lady .

"Church of the latter-day saints . This is Sister Jo"

Or something like that lah , can't remember .

I wanted to run but she looked so .... convincingly sincere that any more of it she would have looked like an insurance agent .

Okay , enough of insurant agent jokes .

I decided to give her two minutes .

"Fate must has brought us together in this amazing encounter , sister . Are you a christian ?"

I shook my head.

One and half more minutes..

She fumbled through her tote bag.

One more minute .

"So what is your religion , sister ?"

I mulled over it for a second to give her the answer that will send her packing .

I tried to buy time by answering her question with an irrelevant answer.

"Erm , my family are devout buddhists"

"I see . So are you one as well?"

She gave me a mega-watt smile so serene that i found it hard to answer her with the answer i had in mind but i had to lah .

"No i'm not , i'm an atheist and will always be. "

I almost stumbled on the pronounciation of the word "atheist" but i managed to pull it off suavely .

"may i be allowed to convince you otherwise ?"

I gave an apologetic smile

"no , i'm sorry"

With that , i quickly sprinted to a few aisles away so that she couldn't find me.

i was thinking

"Wah lao , now that i'm on the run , i cannot find my books in peace liao ."

I got what i wanted within a few minutes , and they are

The life of Pi by Yann Martel

Kane and Abel by Jeffrey Archer

African Ceremonies by Carol Beckwith ( a photo essay book about african tribes )

The Satanic bible by Burton H. Wolfe ( it was in the sales bin so i just grabbed it )

Depression Anonymous . Believe it or not , it has no author ( found it in the sales bin for just $2 heh so no i'm not depressed or anything . Just very cheapo )

World press photo 2004 ( photojournalism. i bloody love this book , seen the photos on the website before but believe me , photos looks so much better in print )

Sadly , the total was way over budget so i had to grudgingly fork out cash.

Since i had about two hours to go before i started my shift , i decided to lounge about at Coffee Bean with my stash.

I went on a trip with Kane and Abel for about one hour while licking away at my cheesecake-smudged spoon .

And then.

I saw person clad in a familiar blue robe.

No , it can't be .


"Hello , i noticed you're alone. Mind if i sit down ?"

Wah lao , she damn thick-skin lor . I didn't even have a chance to protest when she sat down.

Hello , Sister Cindy .

She glanced at the stack of books on the chair next to me . As luck would have it , it wasn't the Satanic bible ( she'll probably douse me in holy water if she saw that book ) but Depression Anonymous .

She touched my hand

"Are you depressed? Where are your friends?"

Not again. I groaned.

They're upstairs , i fibbed .

"Really ?"

She looked unconvinced but concerned.

"Yes , why would i lie to you ?"

She chose to ignore my last sentence.

"God will always be here for you , do you know that ?"

"Yes i know , a million people have told me that before. I'm sorry , i have to go. God is calling me"

I fished out my earphones from my bag and pretended to listen while i packed my stuff and within a minute i was walking out from Coffee bean.

At least i said bye to Sister Cindy.

p/s : if you're curious , no , i'm not an atheist . I believe that God exists but for now i'm still seeking a religious direction .


listening to : the beatles - lucy in the sky with diamonds


What you'll NEVER see in a before/after ad.

Took me quite awhile before i achieved the desired i-am-a-beauty-queen look ( the expression , not the face . ) , with the slight tilt of the chin and super pretentious blink-and-you-miss smile , so appreciate it , assholes !

How to achieve the look : A generous amount of baby powder on face ( including eyebrows and lips ) and deliciously unkempt hair teased to fluffiness with a brush.

Its really bizarre how i enjoy making a complete fool out of myself so much. heh.


Saturday, February 26, 2005

linked !

Links are up after such a loooooong time because i simply suck at HTML .

Tag me if ya wanna be linked ! =)

Of course , feel free to link me on your webby as well.

I can hardly believe that its finally raining here at Tampines after such a long dry spell.

The grass certainly look parched.

Yesterday i had encounters with customers of the rudest kind.

A queue isn't there for show , Sir . So fuck off if you don't wanna wait in line because waving madly at me with an irate expression while bellowing "Hello ! Hello" countless times will not get you my attention in any way.

You're just portraying yourself as an imbecile obviously lacking in manners.

Its almost 11am , and i'm heading back to my bed for a nap since my time's gonna be split between my project and working in the evening later.

My weekend burnt . Damn.


listening to : the killers - mr brightside


Friday, February 25, 2005

all your base are belong to us

the topic has nothin to with anything i'm going to write now but anyway.

time check : 2.40 am.

i'm so dead tired and i've finally done my part of the groupwork assignment so i can enjoy my rare moment of solitude in peace.

i haven't got the faintest idea why i feel so sombre now , suddenly i'm just contemplating my future.

ask me what my ambition is , and i'll probably shrug my shoulders .

i don't know , i just really want to live a life thats constantly on the run and i can write whenever i want to without exhausting my mind .

i hate my school , the lessons are so vague and everything is taught from the book.

so.. very conformist .

i hate conforming , bending over at impossible angles just to fit the social norm.


listening to : disturbed - down with the sickness


Thursday, February 24, 2005


3 consecutive posts within an hour of each other.

a mere gauge of how bored i am.

i hate holing myself at home for the sake of mugging.

okay , i swear you guys MUST download this song

The killers - Mr Brightside



Compiled a list of to-dos just now while juggling between my stupid assignments.

1) Check out Ubin and Sungei Buloh

2) Rent these movies - Requiem for a dream , Dogville , Cannibal holocaust , Love me if you dare and this film the name i forgot but it stars Johnny Depp , damn it !

3) Look for a part time job with any media company ( i'll work for free ! I'm really versatile , i can write , i can take photos , i can be manual labour.. i can even lick your cheap leather shoes clean ! )

4) Drum lessons . That , or attempt to pass my grade 4 for violin. Yah lah , i failed it twice already.


Okay , i have a sudden inspiration for my project so i'll stop here and i'll be back later.



the signs were all there.

i SHOULD have heeded them.

i didn't.

when my CPU started making those ominous whirring noises i've come to associate with an impending auto shut-down , i actually shrugged it off ?!!!!!

oh yeah , shut down it did.



shit's really on the ceiling fan now.

something's wrong with my digicam , the focus is screwed and i'm unable to configurate anything .

btw , north korea is so bloody guai lan , don't you think.

if i really have plans for a new world order and i have just the right tools to do so , i would just bloody shut up and shock the world with my impressive stash that'll guarantee a world class display of pryotechnics and genetic mutations from all that fallout that'll leave every single living human being other than from my country with three nipples , fused fingers etc.

yeah , guaranteed submission.

fuck you , george bush . you're no better off than Kim Dae-Jung.

i can NEVER envision myself living in such a marxist state where even my hair has to be short enough to appease the officials. wtf .

if i disappear all of a sudden. the north koreans have got me.

i will eat kim chee and die a kim chee.

okay this post is irrelevant and i have NO IDEA why i am typing this when i have shitloads of assignments to complete .

Repeat after me




you know you're not in the right state of mind when you're alone at home , dancing to the scissor sisters with saturday-night-feveristic dance moves ( with the bent knee and the victory signs and all ) and yelling like a banshee at your distressed hamsters.

cus you're FILTHY ! OOOOOOOOOh and i'm GORGEOUS !


listening to : the scissor sisters ( WHAT ELSE ?! ) - filthy/gorgeous

and if you're wondering why the font is in italic , i'm just too half-assed lazy to change it back.

by the way i'm so in love with death cab for cutie and the names of their songs.

because its so random.

Styrofoam plates , anyone ?


a day in the life of a barista

What the fuck is a barista , many ask.


We're the people that slouch behind the counter of a coffee places like Starbucks .

Isn't that called a "Server" , you ask.


We're professionally trained to make your coffee , assholes.

A barista's "coffee bartender" in some fancy language , italian if i'm not mistaken.

Actually i feel we're more like multi-taskers , since i'm usually getting intimate with the broom or the cashier machine more than i make coffee.

Now , lets go through a step by step procedure of how a cuppucino is made.

I forgot what this is called , but its some kind of cache to hold the ground coffee in

trivia : coffee ( and just about everything else ) is way overpriced . seriously , the cost price of one latte is like what , 20 cents ( including manpower . yes , i'm cheap labour ) but cafes are usually selling it at a grossly inflated price of *gasp* $4 !!!!!!!


first you froth the milk. believe me , its not as easy as it appears to be. once i got so caught up with admiring myself in the mirror ( there's a mirror in front of the coffee bar ) that i over-heated the milk and the milk exploded . the cleaning part was okay , but the stench that the milk left on my uniform was nausea-inducing. eeew.

milk foam.

the milk goes in first ..

.. and then you push the foam out.

ta-dah ~!

i blurred my face here because i look freakish in it.


customers. what do they know about what happens after they leave ?

i don't know what the fuck happened to this orange.

the remnants of the mould.


alright , i'm gonna be hanging out at Cocco latte tomorrow night with HH and co . Anybody game ? :D


Wednesday, February 23, 2005

random freeze frames



droooooooool . ( its not mine . i can't remember whose )


Don't be suprised should you see me on the streets one day with a bald patch on my head.

No , i'm not suffering from hair loss.

This is a symptom of i-have-so-many-projects-to-do-that-i'm-tearing-at-my-hair illness .

My scriptwriting assignment is due in less than a fortnight's time and i have barely started on it.

Same goes for my advertising and PR projects *tears at her hair and yells and beats at her chest*

excerpt from my scriptwriting assignment. yet to be titled .

Act three



Enters MR SIM He looks weary and dishevelled , and there are traces of dust over his construction uniform. He throws a dirty look and throws his keys at HENRY who is lying asleep on the couch with a half-smoked cigarette between his fingers.

HENRY ( sits up ramrod-straight )
Wha-aaat ? Who ?
( looks around , sees his father standing in the doorway and rolls his eyes before lying down again)

I swear to god i'll fucking kill you , you good for nothing son of a bitch .
( slams the door )
I thought you were supposed to start your first day of work today ?

Chill , dad . You're going to have a cardiac arrest at the rate you're going
( taps cigarette box on his palm and withdraws a stick from it with his mouth )
You want one ?
( dangles the box )

Don't fucking speak to me like that . Why the fuck aren't you working ?
( walks towards HENRY )

(trying to light up his cigarette )
Long story .

( smacks the lighter away from HENRY'S hand )
I'm listening

( tries to grab the lighter )
I don't feel like elaborating

( flings lighter out of the window )
You better or you get out of my house

Father and son gets embroiled in a staring match .




( stands up and points a finger at his father's face as if to challenge him )
( taps index finger on MR SIM'S cheek )
You'll live to regret this.


Despite the fact that profanities are not allowed to be used for my assignment , i still did. i'll be damned. I don't think i'll be able to create the same kind of tension without the vulgarities. I must look out for replacement words. I must.


Listening to : korn - alone i break


Tuesday, February 22, 2005

three cheers , three cheers , three cheers for the government !

Guess what.

Price hike on ciggies again !

Now a hard pack of Marlboro lights costs a faint-inducing $11 .

Since i don't smoke , it doesn't affect me a wee bit but i can't help but feel sorry for the smokers out there.

What ? They want to discourage smoking ?

What ? They want smokers to quit ?


I'm not anti-government , but neither i am an advocate either , as you can tell from my previous posts.

But these incessant price hikes ( on every damned thing ) are .... to put it crudely , really fucked.

Hiding their true motives ( to fatten up their coffers , what else ? ) behind noble intentions.

How very smart.

So where do these $ go to ?

Building state-of-the-art government buildings , hiring foreign talent ( and effectively taking away our ricebowls. YES . Your dad's , your' mom's and ours . ) , buying ultra luxurious "state" cars ( definition : no less than a rolls royce with a flag stuck somewhere. weeee . maybe i should stick a flag into my bicycle so it'll become the "state bike" ) and of course , hiring those beefy policemen and their stupid motorcade. What , you think its free ah ?

Speaking of motorcades ( or convoys. whatever ) , i've always found it to be a source of amusement.

Look , their purporse is to protect the VIP right ?

And if i were a VIP , my best bet is to remain as low-key as possible , to refrain from alerting any potential snipers armed with an Artic hiding in the bushes near the Istana.

But of course , those VIPs just want their presence felt.

Don't think i don't know hor !

They think its "Sat Ki" for us commoners to swoon and stick our faces at windows and go "wow.. motorcade leh ! surely its the president"

"no lah , i think its the vice president"

"who is our vice president ?"

"i don't know leh. i think its Ong teng cheong right ?"

"i think so he sounds familiar"


If motorcades were so useful in protecting the VIP , then can you tell me why how in the world did JFK get assasinated ?

Or more recently , that taiwanese leader whose name i'm unsure of and don't give a damn either , get shot while doing his rounds to suck up to his people ?

Of course , everyone says its staged . I'm convinced .

But the point im tryin to get across is -


If i really wanted to assasinate the president , i could just sit somewhere along his route , look out for his motorcade , run up to some building and aim a bazooka at his "state" car.


speaking of presidents.

i understand it perfectly if the president's wife is called "the first lady"

after all , she deserves respect.

but to extend the respect to a dog by calling the president's dog as the "first dog" is really ridiculous.

so how about the pen that the president uses ?

the "first pen"

the president's slippers ?

"the first slipper"

the president's eldest daughter ?

"the first daughter"

the president's second daughter ?

'the second daughter"



"the first second daughter"


okay i'm tired.

back to my scriptwriting assignment.

bloody hell , can anybody help me with my storyboard ??


listening to : marilyn manson - the beautiful people


Sunday, February 20, 2005

joke(s) of the day

q : how do you know if a guy is addicted to masturbation ?

a : his right hand is bigger.

q : how do you know if someone is addicted to sms-ation ?

a : his/her right thumb is bigger.


okay , so its not exactly funny but its just a sudden thought i had while watching my hammies sleep just now. don't ask.


songs in my playlist :

the killers : mr brightside

staind : its been awhile

disturbed : down with the sickness

the beatles : lucy in the sky with diamonds


a day at home

okay so this has nothing to do with the title.

but when you're swamped under projects that involves thousands of words

your mind doesn't function so well.


i really want to watch these movies

1) Team America - World Police

2) Closer

3) Finding Neverland

Too bad all the people around me just wanna watch movies not worth my money like I Do , I do ( i'm not snubbing local productions but this .. ?! ) and Seoul raiders .

Thats why i am seeking a movie khaki .

Pre-requisites :

Male/Female/Androgynous/Struggling with an identity crisis

Open to criticism ( Yes , including the receiving end :D )

Not stingy with parting with eight bucks on a fortnightly/weekly basis

Steven Spielberg is NOT the only director you know

Agree that Ben Hur is an agony to sit through

Agree that Keanu Reeves is the most mediocre and stoic actor ever but oh , just look at him !

Likes independent productions as well.

So if you think you meet the above requirements .. Please please do not hesitate to email or leave a comment =)


a long tiring day

or rather , a long tiring two days .

Sushi's chalet , post-CNY sales islandwide and sudden invitations to chat over cups of coffee.

i'm so hardly at home these days that my dad seems to have aged alot when i saw him just now , and my hamsters looked like two stuffed cotton balls .

anyway , i guess i'll be holed inside my room tomorrow to tie up loose ends of my Journalism project and to start on my scriptwriting assignment.


cam-whore !!

Laughed my ass off with Yan at Spotlight ( a fabric/art supplies megastore ) when she found a attachable pair of organza wings.

She was really excited about it because it was my size . Yah lah , i'm really petite okay ?

This was the result.

If angels looked like the way i look , then i'll be damned.

What , you wanna enter heaven ? YOU SIAO AH. Nabei , commit so many sins still got cheek to ask ? - Saint Ah Lian.

Ah. The beauty of irrelevance. What has geishas gotta do with condoms ?? One thing for sure , back in those times , condoms were non-existent.


Saturday, February 19, 2005

But its not so bad..

You're only the best i've ever had ..

- Vertical Horizon

Yep .. Just the right words to describe someone whom i felt an instant connection with.

So apt.


Friday, February 18, 2005

my many alter egos

yeah , i know. its 2pm and i am supposed to be in class and having debates about Public relations and its strategies with my heavily accented lecturer .

but i figured that i'll be better off mulling over my Journalism project instead since it's a tutorial today and they're nothing but hogwash , usually its just 3 hours of discussion over a handout .

besides , shelly's chalet is a couple of hours away. heh

i just finished reading Anchee Min's Empress Orchid.

and i am so utterly amazed by the protaganist ( Empress Cixi ) and the way of life behind the walls of the Forbidden city .

apparently bribery is rampant and just about every official is corrupt.

and the Imperial family ( the emperor , the empress , the empess dowager and the 3 thousand concubines ) hold so much power that its almost a cardinal sin .

heck , you don't even have to lift a finger to wipe your ass because your servants do it for you.

and with top-quality silk paper , no less !

they say reading serves to increase knowledge , broaden horizons and all that shit.

i say , it only propels me to think about the inadequate and mundane life i lead and how it would be like if only i were someone else from another era.


A pioneer girl roughing it out in prairies during the American revolution. Yep , complete with the calico dresses , 4th of july celebrations and believe me when i say that during that era ( around 1870s - 1900s ) , americans still live with a code of propiety where the womenfolk were to be seen and not heard , when "darn" is considered a rude word and it is considered disrespectful to question your elders and stuff . Compare it to the americans of today. Hallejujah !

A sultry chain-smoking lover from post-modern Shanghai. I am unable to get the potrayals of these ladies out of my head to the extent that i see them doing nothing all day but smoke a cigarette from a long-stemmed holder and showing off their creamy thighs from their peekaboo slits in their cheongsams.

A scheming heir-producing concubine from imperial China. 'Nuff said.

An elegant Geisha whose sole purpose in life is .. wait a minute , what purpose ? Okay , maybe to provide company to lonely oh-ba-sans ( or is it Oh-ji-san ? ) and buying the most beautiful and exquisitely tailored kimonos .

Veruca Salt from Charlie and the chocolate factory. Except for the mink coats. Stay fur-free =)

Fern from Charlotte's web.


I think my obsession with post-modern Shanghai ( 1920s to 1940s ) is escalating .

My gawd.

Those ladies exude such elegance without even trying , don't you think ?


another one bites the dust

Or rather , another one should bite the dust.

I've NEVER logged into for like a gazillion years if not for an email notifying me of the messages i've received.

Presenting ...

The SDU reject.

Oooh oooh i am soooooo lucky to have you grace my inbox with your presence.

The command of the language is obviously not your forte.

Neither is humility and a sense of reality because if you were sooo handsome as claimed , then why the hell aren't you posting your pics up for your legion of fans to ogle at ?


By the way guys , do add me in msn because i figured it'll be really interesting to chat to people who read my shit on a regular basis.

the email's towards your left .

if you're seeking kinky webcam-enabled conversations with video feeds of me sucking my finger or licking my lips ala a predator before a meal ..

two words.



Thursday, February 17, 2005


Okay .

So most of you have guessed the picture correctly but admit it ! What was your first thought when you viewed it ? :D

And to Mark , WAH LAO.

You're hopelessly corrupted.

And yes , believe it or not but this advertisement was actually on the front page of the straits times 2 days ago ( Tiffany and Co's ) .

I choked on my cereal when i spotted the ad staring at me upside down.

You know you really love a woman..

Woke up this morning and was stifling a yawn when i felt a dull ache in the pit of my abdomen.

I groaned.

Painfully familiar was this symptom , since i get inflicted with this once a month .


Period cramps . I ALWAYS have it on the first day .

I hunched as i staggered to the kitchen because walking upright somehow intensifies the pain.

I microwaved a bowl of water and poured the warmish-hot water into a ziploc bag , while popping a panadol.

I clutched the makeshift hot water bottle to my stomach and patiently waited for the throbbing pain to subside but it didn't.

Minutes ticked away and i realised i was already late for my morning lessons so i decided to skip it and attend the noon class instead.

Flipping the pages of this book i had been reading since yesterday ( Anchee Min's Empress Orchid. A book about the life of a concubine in the Qing dynasty and she was to be later known as the famously infamous Empress Cixi ) , the insides of my abdomen felt like someone was squeezing it with wild abandon , releasing it and repeating the process in some sort of perverse self-gratifying act.

Curled up in a foetal position with my knees pressing the "hot water bottle' to my tummy , the pain was so excruciating that suddenly , i hated my gender and i wished that i had a penis.

I'm not kidding.

I fell asleep and an hour later i woke up with the water gone tepid and the pain considerably reduced.


Any Malaysians reading this ??

Please do me a favour , visit any Converse shop and help me to enquire about their kid's sized range of shoes , and whether they have it in low-cut beige/off-white colour !!



Listening to: KoRn - here to stay


Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Picture of the day

Guess what !

It is NOT what you think it is :D

Answer will be revealed when i reach home .


we are so pampered ! ( no , not the kind you wrap around a baby's bottom )

Lets face it.

Singaporeans are a bunch of pampered folks.

Just take a peek from your window and besides the usual unappetising view of HDB flats with gaudy colours , look down south and be repulsed at the maze of sheltered walkways and pavilions that greet you.

I can fully understand the usefulness of a sheltered walkway when the skies suddenly dump their condensation on you , unaware and without an umbrella.

But thats entirely your own fault for not being unprepared despite the fact that our weather is very erratic ( sidetrack : i actually mispronouced the word as "Erotic" once and i have remained as the butt of jokes ever since ) .

Which indirectly means that the government is paying for our mistake.

As for sweltering hot days , look , come on.

A mere distance the length of 4 cars being parked back to back WILL NOT cause you to crumple into the floor and foam at the mouth due to a heatstroke .



All that you gian-peng residents know is to give "feedback" to the MP .

Feedback my ass !

More like requests to enable them to reduce the amount of perspiration on their stinky bodies.

Speakin of this i read with much amusement and bewilderment of the Straits Times forum days ago regarding complaints of a disgruntled woman who apparently feels that "the nature trail at MacRitchie ( or is it Seletar ? I forgot ) is too much for her to bear and she had to wait oh-s0-long under the malevolent sun before it was her turn to walk the treetop bridge"

Of course the replies came fast and furious from equally amused readers who "asked her to go fly kite if she finds it too far from her comfort zone"

I say , just fuck off and steer clear from there and stick your fat pudgy ass on your sofa and enjoy the cool comforts of your ozone-depleting air conditioner. FOREVER.

Okay back to topic.

If covered walkways was such a necessity then pray tell me how the heck did you survive all those years of living without one ?

Same goes to the construction of the Paya Lebar expressway , the MRT circle line and the tentatively scheduled LRT to Sentosa or somewhere.

Its really redundant and its painful to travel past these sites because your vision is shrouded in clouds of dust and what little you can see consists of debris , jauggernaut-sized machinery and sad-looking construction workers who get accused of every crime imaginable by us smug Singaporeans

I'm not opposed to accessibility but as it is , we're already very accessible and i'm damn proud of that fact and i don't need another reason to travel just because there is a new PLE or MRT line .

Besides how much difference can a mere expressway do ?

Cut travel time ? By how much ? A few minutes ?

Reduce traffic jams ? So what ? There will still be jams no matter how many expressways you built, face it.

And of course , these sillynilly people don't know that the gahmen is NOT paying for it.

In a country where even you have to pay the gahmen for owning a bloody TV ( yes it costs $100 to own one on top of the purchase price of the set ) , NOTHING IS FREE.

I'm not anti-gahmen but this country is already turning into a big eyesore of concrete , tiles and metal without the new embellishments i've mentioned .

Soon , all that will be left would be the few conserved roads with the amazing greenery ( Like Mandai road ) .

Hell , they won't even let us retain the rustic charm of Changi point.

You should see it now , its spanking new and there's a boardwalk but FOR WHAT ?!

I miss the jetty of yore with the greasy planks of wood and the comfortable feeling of being in an bygone era.

I've heard that the gahmen is planning to do something to Pulau ubin as well.

Touch my Ubin and they DIE .

Oh dear , i miss Ubin :( Haven't been there for ages !! Any Ubin enthusiasts ??


sorry seems NOT to be the hardest word

Is it just me , or is the word being used incessantly nowadays ?

I have people profusely apologising to me over the slightest ( or even non-existent ) wrongdoings.

For goodness sake , i am NOT a tyrant !

Shawn.B called me just now while i was in the shower and when i returned his call he was a picture of guilt and panic

Fiona : Shawn , you called ah ?

S.B : Yup.. You're busy huh ?

Fiona : No lah.. Was in the shower. Whats up ?

S.B : Oh... Sorry leh i didn't know you were in the shower ..

Fiona : Err.. Okay.. So you called me for..?

S.B : Huh ? No lah.. Regarding Eugene's BBQ lor.. Eh.. Sorry leh.

Fiona : Sorry what ?

S.B : Sorry for disturbing you while you were in the shower lor..

Which i thought was really funny because

1) How on earth could i have been disturbed by his one single call which i did not hear , much less pick up ?

2) I sounded really jolly and in no way did my voice had the slightest semblance of annoyance.

And then there was J.

I don't know why on earth he gave me roses for because we've known each other for the longest time and have seen each other in the worst light ( like him scratching his ass while peeing at Ros' chalet and me forming a damp patch on a pillow with my drool while sleeping which is AN ISOLATED INCIDENT )

So i called him.

Me : Eh , thanks for the roses ah. Very nice.

J : No prob.. You like it ?

Me : Yup.. thanks again

J : I thought you prefer lilies ?

Me : Aiyo , its the thought that counts man !

J : Sorry leh.. I didn't really think when i got the roses.

Me : Its okay lah ! Its nice what !

J : Really ? But i think you will prefer lilies lor .. Sorry..


Okok , so the last sentence was made up.

I guess the apologies were to fill up the awkward voids in conversation but it was quite embarrasing to hear someone apologising once every few seconds.

But of course , none of them can beat Myloh in apologising.

He definitely wins hands down !

A made-up example of an online conversation :

Myloh : Are you there ?

Me : Yeah.. Hold on.. Typing out some assignment stuff

Myloh : Sorry ..

--3 minutes later without any reply from me-

Myloh : Sorry again...

Me : Don't be sorry for nothing lah !! Wait ah , im going back to my assignment :)

Myloh : Okay.. sorry..

--- 2 minutes later without any reply from me-

Myloh : Sorry to have disturbed you just now..

Myloh : Really sorry ...


Shitte , maybe its time i start potraying myself as a "Hubby , what would you like to drink for breakfast tomorrow ? Hubby , do you want a foot massage ? Hubby , would you like me to be on top or below tonight ?" kind of girl . Yep , the passive and submissive type whose life revolves around the man in her life .

Why ?

Because , this is the kind of girl nobody ever apologises to. Who cares about her temper ? What can she do even if she throws a tantrum anyway ? Run to a corner and whine ?

Maybe i really do give out provoke-me-and-you-are-gonna-be-so-fucked vibes.

Really , i'm not.

One should refrain from apologising unless the situation really calls for it as a remedy , because it loses its credibility and sincerity if used too often .


Oh hell , i am so addicted to Subway's Cold Cut Trio and its White chocolate cookies ! ( had it for 3 consecutive days )

But i really dislike the macademia nuts in the cookie though :(

Mr Magain , one white chocolate chip cookie without the nuts pretty please ? Thankewww !!


Special acknowledgements :

J for the lovely roses with the berries that look good enough for consumption

S for the card and the basket of baby tulips

Julynn for her timely air-mail of australian lingerie ( cheap , cute and good :P ) because most of my lingerie are quite fucked up after too many rounds in the washing machine. Really , lingerie's supposed to be handwashed but i just chuck all my laundry into the machine. And i end up with bras with mangled/bent underwires and undies with holes because it usually gets caught in the hooks of the bra .

Ros for being such good company today and her big stalk of giant rose !

Soryan a.k.a MINABONG for calling me and wishing me a very sarcastic happy valentine's and an awful rendition of some loveyd-dovey tune . YOU ALSO SINGLE AND LONELY HOR !!!


I think the Civil Defence has successfully drove the anti-terror message into my head.

Too successfully in fact.

Now , i get really paranoid whenever i see lone bags with no apparent owner and i start conjuring up images of the bag containing a bomb and blowing everyone up into bloody smithereens.

Just today , i was waiting for a bus to school at the interchange when i saw a pretty big sports bag on the floor near me and immediately i broke into cold sweat.

Even though i have been drilled to call the cops or inform relevant authority ( no thanks to the strings of ads all across the island ) whenever such bags/boxes are spotted , being the very Singaporean ( "Aiyah , tell for what ? Sekali is nothing then paiseh sia ! Then people say we kaypoh ) and "face-conscious" me , i chose to remain quiet but i couldnt bear to exit this lovely world with such a bang ( pun intended ) .

i scurried away quickly to the next bus stop away from the interchange even though it meant a 5 min walk under the blistering sun , at least i wouldnt have to die should it really blow up.


as i neared the next bus stop , i squinted my eyes to look for the bag and there it is in the arms of a very athletic-looking young chap.

Sometimes , i really question my mental health .

Sometimes , i really feel like an asshole.

Sometimes , i really could kick myself ( despite physical limitations but i can always find someone else more flexible to do the job ) for being so stupid.


Monday, February 14, 2005


I know i know.

I haven't been posting much lately but believe me when i say with 4 projects underway and thousands of words to write for my essays , blogging becomes second priority because your energy is channelled elsewhere.

Besides , i've been really too busy this week due to CNY visiting / gatherings with friends and relatives.

And of course , none without the compulsory gambling sessions that comes with each , turning the hosts' living room into a makeshift gambling den.

Boy am i glad to report profits for all !!

I think i'm becoming a real pro at deception/mind games. I used to be quite a "transparent" person whose facial expression depends on the cards i hold , thus i am a boon to all the "Zheng gehs" .

Of course you would flip open my cards despite the fact that i have only two because i have the words "MY CARDS ARE ONLY WORTH 16 POINTS PLEASE DO NOT FLIP OPEN MY CARDS" all over my forehead that is creased with a heavy frown.

But not anymore.

I have learnt to manipulate my expressions , although underneath the table my legs are quivering because i am taking big risk with such small cards and the only way i can hope for a win is when the "zheng geh" goes bust with more than 21 points.

And they usually do , oh Hallejujah !

I can't wait for the next gambling session concealed as a friendly visit . HEH HEH HEH.

Chinese new year.

A time to visit and catch up with the rest ?


More like a time for vices like gambling , over-indulgence on the booze ( especially when its a gathering of the men folks ) and little tots getting a taste of the real world when they clamber all over adults for their share of ang baos and sulking when they realise it contains a paltry $2 in it.


Camera whore !!


Yay. More photos .

Me , Ping and Pei .

Is it just me , or do i look insanely childish in this picture ?


By the way , i really really HATE trying for a "Gor leng" or 5 cards unless absolutely necessary like when i have insufficient points because the last card ALWAYS turns out to be a Terrific Ten or a member of the royal family .

Which means that i'll end up with a beautiful 22 points or more.

The "Zheng Geh's" stash of winnings. A sight you'll definitely seldom see on non-CNY days.

Hell yeahhh. Kaifong's ( my ex classmate ) mom makes the BEST steamboat base around. No doubts about it !

Nicholas and me . Yeah , he's one of the girls !

Solo. Do not be alarmed at the mosaic-ed person behind , its only Ping ! I blurred it because she was looking elsewhere and the effect wasnt so good.

Pei and Nic.

Actually Pei has kinda big eyes , but she's always smiling SOOOOOO widely that her eyes crinkles up into nothingness. LOL. But she still looks sweet aye ?

Lastly , me and Nic again !!


Sunday, February 13, 2005

camera whore !!

Destitute .

Its during moments like this i really get jolted from my ho-hum-ing and count my blessings.

Heh heh heh. I love this pic !! Believe it when i say that its taken right here in Singapore , at East Coast ( The very secluded area i love to chill and read at ) ! Yep , sometimes you gotta really explore to really discover the nuggets of gold among the concrete .

Erm , bus stop.

My beloved assholes !!!!!!

From left : Nic , Yan , Ping , Pei and yours truly. Someone commented my boobs look saggy in this one but hey ! Its just my posture lah !!! :(


Okay , today is 13/2 which means that tomorrow is the day i've always looked forward to every day all 11 months of the year except february when the possibility of me meeting someone i like seems bleak and this year is no exception , damn it !

Yet i chanced upon this person i used to have a crush on (despite the fact that we barely know each other ) when i was rushing down Orchard road yesterday after a few rounds of pool with JS and Co to meet Sushi and Nashi for kopi @ NYDC .

I'm not sure if was him because it was so damn dark but my gut feeling affirms his identity though he was perched up above on a lorry unloading some film equipment and i couldnt even make out his face , only the silhouette of his body .

Maybe it was his aura that made me so sure that it was him ?

Or maybe it was just the film equipment that i've learned to associate him with.


Alright , time to go for my annual steamboat affair at Kaifong's place ! I'm tellin ya , his steamboat is the BEST ! The soup base is just......... Woahhhh. Orgasmic.


Saturday, February 12, 2005

owwww my head hurts

for those of you lucky enough to see the previous post before i deleted it just now , please do not think that i've lost my ability to think or write . I was quite shocked when i saw that i had posted something because i was really quite tipsy yesterday night and i remember nothing . lol

i've noticed that alcoh0l makes a person depressed even though there is nothin to be depressed about . It sort of forces your mind to rake up unhappy thoughts and you go calling up your best friends in the middle of the night tellin them that you really miss a particular someone when in fact you've already gotten over him. get my drift ?

maybe not.

i think its a better idea to go back to bed before i throw up all over the keyboard.


Thursday, February 10, 2005

up to my neck

goodness gracious.

that for the first time in many moons i actually took an afternoon nap today between the influx of distant relatives attacking the house because i didn't have enpugh sleep for the past few days.

hell yeah , i feel rich already looking at the stack of filled ang baos on my table right now. and more coming in the next few days !

besides the usual relatives-visiting , this year is gonna be much more hectic , what with gatherings with friends for steamboat/lo hei/gambling sessions.

( SHOUTOUT to hosts like Samantha , Kaifong , Melvin C , HH , Josh and Dickhead for being such nice peolpe and inviting us all to wreck and create complete pandemonium at your places :D )

happy CNY to all , though it came a tad too late.



Monday, February 07, 2005

i'll be DAMNED !

i have this ulcer on my tongue and though its not exactly massive its a major hindrance when i eat and i really pray that it'll be gone tomorrow or by wed because i do so want to prey on those CNY goodies.

Why the hell am i so prone to such nonsense ?!

Shit , i barely slept for 5 hours and i'm back in front of the computer again.

Did i mention i have ONE WHOLE WEEK OF HOLIDAYS?!

Probably meeting JP later for a walk around Chinatown. Will definitely be armed with my digicam.

Till then folks !!!


Disconnected existence

They say pain is transient
They say it's only a fleeting ache
If so why do I always hear these voices
Claiming that I'd be better off dead ?

Life on the other side
Where my alter ego thrives
Feeding on what came out of Pandora's box
By day so excellently disguised

What aspirins fail to achieve
The only solution's a blade
Crimson liquid's rusty -
A morbidly heavenly taste

I see shadows lurking in places
When the others only see space
My distance from damnation
A hair's breadth from Lucifer's face

Tell me , what good is a shrink
When he is blind to my torment
Can he see the Others
Can he really comprehend ?

Apocalypse and Armageddon
A ephemeral thought for some
Yet , in the confines of my bedroom
I've been there and around

Lunging at your departing shadow
Tethering at the edge I reach out
I'm in agony and it's excruciating
Your assurance I needed but did without.

Sitting on the fence - A dilemma
Which way should I go ?
I find myself leaning towards the side
Where the fires burn - An amber glow

My existence feels disconnected
A situation so uncontrolled
A sinner will always remain a sinner
A condemned wandering soul

wrote this a couple of minutes ago .

remember to ask for permission if you wanna use it .

timecheck : 4.02 a.m

Listening to : KoRn - I'm done


Sunday, February 06, 2005

Men are visual creatures.

And yes indeed !

Tell me , how often have you seen a guy with a female Godzilla lookalike ?

I mean yes of course you have , but most probably the guy himself looks like Chewbacca .

Being the very inquisitive me , i probed into this case further and taught myself a lesson on social behavioural studies ( which is one of my modules in school by the way ) .

As everyone knows , Friendster is THE place for all buayas to prey on innocent girls online anonymously , simultaneously satisfying their inner-voyeur by reading up every profile of the girls they come across.

So i've set myself up as a bait .

Firstly , i changed my main display photo to this

And i basically deleted all of the normal looking photos of me in my account.

And guess what ?

For a whole two weeks NOBODY messaged me .

And then yesterday , i revamped my account and changed the photo again.

I guess this one's more aesthetically pleasing.

Seriously , i can't stand this photo even though everyone else seems to like it and they go "awww.." because

1) i look like a bloody 14 year old school girl when i'm in fact going to be 19

2) i don't look like that at all in person. yes i have flabby cheeks that just screams to be pinched but bear in mind that 50 years down the road, gravity would have taken its toll and the two blobs of once-cute fats will become unattractively droopy , wrinkled like crocodile hide and it'll feel like rubber instead of a pillow filled with down.


I came home 8 hours later to find 6 new messages waiting for me .

Example :


Maybe you should go to the British Council and take up some english lessons before attempting such a Jackass stunt , darh-ling .

Its so obviously that his message is a "cut and paste" sort of strategy .

Because the message is so generic , this person can always just hit Shift+Insert in the message line to just anybody he fancies without going through the hassle of typing one.

I wouldn't be surprised if he had sent out a few hundred messages like this within one night.

And that at least one would bother to reply. Which will be good enough for him.

Out of the few hundred messages i have received ( after doin a check with my girlfriends , i can safely confirm that most girls with decent looking photos have received the almost same number of messages ) ever since i signed up with this bloody thing because it is the website du jour , i can safely say that only 3 or 4 are really sincere in making friends with me , judging from their messages which i have replied and have maintained healthy friendships with.

I am really not impressed with lines like

"hIi , my name is Moby and i like to do poseur-techno music that nobody really fancies but just pretends to because it its sooooooooo coooooool to do so and Eminem hates me. Anyway , i like your picture. You sound interesting. Call me at 96272881917282 or add me at okies ?"


"Hi , you so cute la. be friends with mi ok ? add me lor ! or sms me at 9322020022222 hor ?"

Which brings me to another point.

Why are some people SO trusting with their phone numbers ?

All they know about me , is a public profile and a few lousy quality pictures that can easily be phoney.

I might be a closet ladyboy with a fetish for calling up men at random from a private line and getting a hard-on from breathing and panting heavily into the mouthpiece and they'll never figure out that all this is their own undoing.

Or i might be a drug dealer who purposely dialled your number so that it'll appear in my last dialled list and i'll leave my phone somewhere for the police to find and then they'll call and put a very bewildered you into detention .

Red herrings , you know ? Using you as a scapegoat and throwing the police off my lead.

As i was saying..

I don't know about the rest of the girls but personally , if i see a message that i think is quite individualistic , probably i'll reply even though i'm not really actively seeking to broaden my social circle.

For example

"Hey , you have a fascination with blood ? that so bloody interesting ( pun intended ) ! i don't exactly share your interests but i do have quite an obsession with body piercings and i guess the two goes hand in hand yah ?"


"hey , i love your blog. loved the entry about the forked tongue although i almost threw up upon seeing the photos. cheers !"

Oh yeah , i love it when people dish compliments on my blog. Heh.

So there you have it.

Proof that men ARE visual creatures.

And no , please don't give me the shit that we women are as much of a visual creature .

Skeptical ?

Why not you take a walk around town and observe. Probably you'll see quite a number of attractive women with less-than-perfect partners.

And NO normal-looking guys with substandard girlfriends.

Such is life. *laments*

he who failed history
As for me , the last two guys i had a crush on weren't exactly greek gods .

Heck , they weren't even half as cute as Soo Kui Jien.

And they had pimples the size of marbles.

Maybe its my natural instinct to be attracted to men with substance ( read : ugly but intelligent ) because i'm not exactly well endowed in the looks department and to be head over heels with a Manhunt contestant is just way out of my league , or as the chinese saying goes "Lousy toad hankering for the immaculate Swan"

That , or good-looking guys are usually scatter-brained without personal opinion and the conversation usually goes

Me : So , where are we headed to for lunch ?

Him : You decide lor.

Me : How about Long john's ?

Him : Dunch want lah , had that yesterday

Me : Okay.. how about food court ?

Him : Aiyo , so many people leh..

Me ( thinks : bloody hell , ask me decide still so choosy , go fuck yourself lah ) : Okay.. then where you want ?

Him : Actually i feel like having Pastamania...


You see , usually we hear guys complaining that we girls are guilty of the above.


To be a metrosexual is one thing.

( though i personally find it abit unsettling to date someone who asks questions like "Hey, you using that Lancome cleanser huh ? how is it huh ? I now using Clinque leh , abit drying." Or even worse , to hold hands with someone with a sparkling manicure. OMFG )

To be girlish and undecisive is another.

I'll certainly prefer the former.

Of course i'm not saying that you have to be in the RI alumni to impress me , but i think that one should have the basic grasp of worldly matters.

I am not expecting my boyfriend to be an intellect.

Its okay if you don't know the difference between Venice and Vienna , or that Oscar Wilde's a gay , or where the Louvre musuem is.

But i think its really sad if you thought that "Charlie and the chocolate factory" is the latest line of chocolates by Cadbury, that the Mona Lisa was painted by Leonardo Di Caprio Or *shudders* , if you thought that the Pacific ocean is the only ocean in the world .

An example of a conversation with a person who obviously failed history. I swear this really happened to me a couple of months back.

Me : Wah lao , look at that Mat-rocker !

Him : His leather pants damn gross leh. So tight.

Me : Yah lah , look at that Swastika on his vest. iI bet he didnt know Hitler really brainwashed his people to hate the jews.

Him ( silent for a while ) : Oh... yah lor... hahah.....

Me : Yah..

Him : Yah.... what kind of jews ?

Me : What ?

Him : What kind of jews lah ? Apple or orange or what ?


I think i'm falling sick after all that late nights and stuff. Damn , hope my flu and cough clears before Chinese new year !!


Listening to : The beatles - To love somebody


Saturday, February 05, 2005

menopausal pariah

I don't know what has come over me recently.

I get annoyed really easily and i just snap at everyone who happens to brush against me when i'm in my prickly mode.

Like this morning , i hung up on GGYY's call after barking at her in a very irate manner.

Actually i couldn't help it , after all she called when i was so comfortably attached to my bolster in a semi conscious state .

Maybe i could have dealed with it with more tact but it was pretty hard to do when you're standing on cold hard floor after being roused from sleep with two consecutive phone calls .

And less than 12 hours ago i narrowly missed having a huge quarrel with S , if not for his calm nature.

I was feeling really miffed with my dad because of some invalid accusations he threw at my face and all S did was to sms me at the wrong time and i replied with a very fucked up "hey , can't you sms me at a better time ? i'm busy" .

If it was any other sane person ( of course i'm not tryin to imply that S is insane lah heh ) i think i would have gotten a really huge flaming but not S . He replied with a very neutral "Okay , call me when you're not busy.."

Of course i did , and apologised profusely to him afterwards.

My brudder indeed =)

Oh , did i mention i fell flat on my face on the way home just now ?

My foot got wedged between the very irritating hollowed parking space bricks and i just kneeled over and i managed to save myself from getting disfigured by absorbing the impact with my elbows.


I muttered a silent prayer of thanks because there was no one in sight to see it.

Lets all boycott against hollow bricks !!!!!

My heart goes to ladies who wear high heels .

Must be really a killer to cross such treacherous terrain.

Congrats to SHELLY who is getting married TODAY to NASH !!!!!! Wooooooooo. Can't wait to attend the solemnisation later :D


Friday, February 04, 2005

If you're in love and the other party reciprocates , then good for you.

If you're in love but the other party doesn't give a damn , i feel for you.

If you're not in love ( though you might be a couple of hours ago ) at all , then come aboard and join me.


Thursday, February 03, 2005

excuse me while i get my hankie

Sometimes , i really feel that the best form of entertainment comes free .

Take public transportation for example.

The myriad of random characters and the mini-dramas that occur ( from eavesdropping on people's conversations to openly gawking at public displays of affection ) never fails to pique my interest in taking buses/trains even though most of the time laziness and the weather gets the better of me and i hop into a cab.


Took a feeder bus to the train station just now i couldn't help but give a second glance to this well-dressed gentleman probably in his mid-twenties because his scent wafted to my nose in delicious continuous waves ( wah kaoz , what a description ) and get this - IT WAS THE UNMISTAKENABLE ALL TIME FAV SCENT OF MINE : HUGO BOSS !!!!!! ( That scent never fails to make my head turn . Sooooo manly . Okay i sound bimbotic. ) .

Didn't hurt that he was quite cute , too . That overnight stubble. Yummy.

Of course i chose a seat where i could have a good view and sniff of him , which was directly behind him.

I might sound like a psycho to you but while i was at it ( admiring his back view and practically floating on his scent ) , i actually noticed that his nape is unusually hairy and i concluded that he is a hairy person . Keen sense of observance eh ?

OKay , i digress.

As i was saying..

Yeah , halfway thru the ride , i got quite stunned when he actually fished out a neatly folded brown checkered HANKERCHIEF ( even typin the full word out gives me the jitters ) .

AND proceeded to PAT his nose ever so gently , so daintily with it .

I swore he looked at it lovingly before he placed it back into his breast pocket ... ( Careful now , wouldn't want to crease it , won't we ? oh the horrors ! *waves hand in exasperation* )

For a moment i was quite aghast . It has been quite some time since i last saw a hankie , with the exception of my grandfather and aunt who swear by their hankies .

But as realisation sank in , i was torn between deciding if he was just being nice to his mother or that he's really a sissy.

If he was just being nice to his mom , would he even use it in public in the first place , and with such grace at that ?

If he was really a sissy , then why oh why did he have to look ( and smell ) so good ?!

Now before you dismiss me as a mad ranting bitch who has too much time on her free time to debate over such mundane insignificant matters , well , you're right.

as a matter of a fact , bus rides ARE boring. especially if you take the same bus every damned day.

I have nothing against hankies , i love it that they're so charming ( don't ask. i just find it charming in a way that is inexplicable ) and somehow , it makes the user look so.. sensitive ( not sensitive as in sensitive to tissue lah , assholes . ) and refined. ( yeah , the association with hankies and gentlemen from the dunno-what era .
just like those classy ladies with their frilly umbrellas that served no practical usage except to shield them from the sun. and of course how can i not mention the raised pinky and tea cup combination that never fails to get on my nerves )

But please bear in mind hankies are a breeding ground for bacteria , germs and whatnots. Imagine a whole colonies of contented fuzzy bacteria munching on your bits and pieces from your nose and the corner of your mouth and mutiplying by the millions.

And by evening the colonies would have grown so fast that it would have spilled out into your pocket..

And out of your pocket and onto your shirt....

And then your skin where it would thrive on your sweat and grime ..

and then it'll enter your body through your pores and make friends with the various forms of bacteria inside ..

And then it'll eventually sink its teeth ( do they even have teeth ? ) into your vital organs and then you'll die of a collapsed lung or heart sucked dry of blood by the parasites.


Now , i don't think anyone would like to have "Hankerchief" as a cause of death on your death cert , right ?

what the fug , i can't believe i actually said all that unfunny and irrelevant stuff. i've so strayed from my intended topic.


Wednesday, February 02, 2005


the scent of a lady and the bulge of an adam's apple

had no class today so i decided to work on "finding myself" and taking a breather from madcap days of hanging out with random friends.

headed down to a secret spot at East coast where the view was spectacular and best of all , no disturbances from the outside world except for the occasional tourist or silvered-hair retiree on rattling bicycles.

armed with a light-hearted chick- lit ( Robyn Sisman's Weekend in Paris . Quite a good read although the plot and characters were cliched and the ending was definitely anti-climax and stupid ) , a bottle of Perrier and a huge packet of Lay's , i found a stragetically-placed stone bench right in front of the shoreline and shaded by towering pine-like trees and plonked myself down.

to cut a long story short , i spent my whole afternoon engrossed in my book and grinning widely to myself every 5 minutes as i felt really blissful just looking at my part of the beach where the water was amazingly blue unlike the mucky brown in the more populated parts of east coast.

by the way , i think i have an affinity with transvesites ( or trannies ) .

today alone i had no less than 3 encounters with them , and they all look uncannily similar to each other with long brown rebonded hair , manly shoulders , a statuesque height and really bad dress skanky sense that'll put Anna Nicole Smith to shame . And really thick make-up.

don't get me wrong , i have nothing against them but i can't help but cower away from them because they give out really bad vibes against real women . try standing in front of them if you're a girl , and they'll give you The Eye and other non-verbal cues that scream "FUCK OFF AND QUIT STEALING MY LIMELIGHT !"

oh and they'll be all big movements and wide i-am-so-popular-everyone-knows-me smiles on the podium of Zouk where they'll be trying to hook caucasian men with their not-so-feminine wiles.

no kidding.

anyway as i was saying.

first encounter : en route to east coast on a bus , and this group of really tall sun-kissed ladies boarded . they started laughing. SHIT ! their chuckles sounded like a really bad recorded Santa Claus' infamous 'Ho ho ho' .

second encounter : a group of trannies and an equally sissy guy settled down quite comfortably at a stone bench about 30 steps from where i was seated , but thankfully i was about to leave if not i'd be really irritated with their inane chatter in their very nasal and growl-like thai.

last encounter : having dinner with S at bedok interchange and this bunch of trannies had to SHARE TABLE with us. i felt like i was being ostracised by them and they did nothing to acknowledge my existence , instead preferring to coo " hey handsome , do you have tissue ?" to a flushed S when i have a big conspicuous fat packet of tissue next to my drink .

S was visibly traumatised because he was itching to leave to bad that he left half of his ice kachang untouched , this coming from someone who never fails to scrape his plate clean.

You can imagine the amount of profanities leaving his lips the moment we left. LOL . aww , you poor little shit.

okay , this is a boring post because i'm really tired right now . i'll probably rewrite this entry tomorrow. till then folks.


listening to : REM - Losing my religion


Tuesday, February 01, 2005

manifestation of loneliness in the urban jungle

Indeed , seeking solace is quite a daunting task when there is barely enough breathing space in this tiny concrete jungle we call home .

A penny for my thoughts in this shot ?

Well , him of course. Its so easy to look desolate when your mind is miles away from reality .

I miss him so much that .... it encroaches into my sane frame of mind and messes about with it.

Yeah , like dipping into my brains with a spatula and stirring it until it forms a congealed mass of pink pulp.

If only he would just attempt to contact me.


Johnnie Walker !! Ooooooh ! Gimme gimme gimme !


Will someone release me from my limbo ?


Crikey ! The return of the off-shoulder top .


p/s : Haloscan and Blogger's comments screwed up on me so please leave your comments in the shoutbox towards your left !! :)


listening to : Timmy Thomas - Dying inside to hold you ( Yah , i know its a corny song that'll make anyone's toes curl in horror but hey ! I like it :p )


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