orgasmic hamsters

orgasmic hamsters






Thursday, March 31, 2005


Its almost 8a.m and i haven't slept a single wink because i spent the night at Fifi's chalet.

Mind you , its not your run of the mill 1 room 2 beds chalet that's every claustrophobic's nightmare.

Its a bloody double storey unit with 3 bedrooms , a living room and its even equipped with a kitchen !

Did i mention the abundant space available for everyone to mill around outside ?? ( but the place is quite Ulu la .. there's this deserted building behind that spooks me just by looking at the dark windows )

And it costs only like $20 to rent the place per day !!

Well ... If you're a NSF that is . Heh.

Yep .. I'm talking about the row of chalets @ Changi thats only open to civil servants . Bloooody cheap and good.

Boycott Downtown East or Costa Sands la.


I reached the chalet only to be greeted a grinning Fifi who showed me the bottles of liquor and a cryptic message

"'Fiona , this is ours. Tonight ."

Save for bars , i've never seen so many bottles of liquor all my life.

4 bottles of Vodka ( Absolut and Smirnoff )

1 bottle of Barcadi

1 bottle of Chivas

1 bottle of Cognac ( i think )

3 other bottles of other stuff . Bourbon i think.

I may have miscounted but i think the final tally of 10 bottles is pretty close.

10 is really bloody too much for approx. 20 people.

The evil glint in Fifi's eyes told me that i was going wake up in the chalet's toilet with dried puke on my face and stale pee all over my pants. ( i didn't , thankfully )

We started gathering around the table and it didn't help that we had an experienced bartender in our midst.

Kenny worked his magic on the drinks and concocted some pleasant tasting stuff that the girls gulped down happily only to realise the kick later ( as everyone knows , girls are a sucker for sweet-tasting stuff and thats why they love lychee martinis only to end up making a technicolour pavement pizza or in a random guy's bed) .

Fortunately i didn't remain in an inebriated state for too long , maybe say 30 mins but in that short period i managed to piss Shelly and J off by sending them random and nonsensical stuff. LOL.

Fau drank like there was no tomorrow and among the list of side-splittingly funny stuff she did was to pretend that she was riding on a motorbike while saying

"Remember , if you drink , don't drive"

And then she would pretend to swerve sharply.

It was damn funny to see her dancing really vigorously behind the guys who were engrossed in their PS2 game , oblivious to the commotion behind them.

She was also going around chanting

"Samporna .. Samporna ? Samporna ! Samporna ? Samporna! " because she smokes Sampor and apparently no one else does so we tried to pacify her by waving Marlboros and Viceroys in front of her , only to be replied with a snort and a pout.

Damn funny la !

I noticed that chalets are a great way to forge friendships and nurture relationships.

Because everytime i go to a chalet , there would ALWAYS be a new couple formed , say a week or so later .

And usually the guy would be the person taking care of the drunk girl at the chalet.

Looking at how Yas took such immaculate care of Fee while she was completely knocked out , i knew something was going to happen between the two of 'em. Heh.

The way he played with her hair while she was unconscious , the way he wiped the puke off her face that was dribbling out from her mouth , the way he held the plastic bag under her chin so for so long , the way he didn't care that her puke was all over him .

I suddenly wished that i was that drunk so that somebody could shower concern over me the same way Yas was fussing over Fee.

Then i realised that nobody would prolly bother anyway.

Saddening ah !!

I spent the rest of the night pottering around the chalet , proud that i was one of the few sober , taking care of the drunkards.


I want someone who wouldn't mind putting his finger into my throat to induce vomitting when i'm drunk.

I was feeling a tad blue the whole night because i was expecting something , maybe a simple act of concern through SMS from a particular someone but oh well i guess i pinned my hopes too high eh ?

Because it never came.

Yawn. Good night folks.


Wednesday, March 30, 2005

it kills.

Before you shag that hot eurasian chick you picked up at Zouk a few hours ago or that hunky dude with THE bod from some gay bar along Tanjong Pagar , wait. ( I know i'm being terribly sexist by implying that most flings are initiated by men , regardless of sexual inclination. But hold on.. it TRUE ! )

Why wait ? You ask.

Sauntering into the nearest 7-11 store , you pick up a box of strawberry-flavoured but inedible stuff so strategically placed by the counter at the last minute among with your titbits , pretending to be nonchalent.

Because you risk to contract STDs if you're going to get into his/her pants , i reply.

No sweat , dude . I have rubber. You say , and you zoom off in your swanky Subaru Legacy .

Ah. Always the case .

What people don't know is that , the HIV virus is small enough to penetrate through condoms . Condoms are a form of contraceptive , not a device that prevents STDs.

Because the virus can lie dormant in your body for as long as 10 years before it blows up and pins you to a corner , you continue fucking around and accumulating all sorts of viruses until the day you wake up to find a cauliflower growing on your balls and no , it doesn't taste any better stir-fried with garlic the chinese way.

A week later you have a cauliflower garden thriving between your legs.

A month later you would be so weak , that even if Angelina Jolie stripped in front of you , you won't even have the strength to fondle her.

And that is all your fault , you gallivanting motherfucker.

Don't go around cursing the heaven and the people around you for the terrible infliction .

I've given some thought to that Balaji or whatever minister said regarding gay parties , that they increase the number of AIDS carriers.

Its true to an extent though my initial reaction was to scoff at him when it first came out in the papers.

You see ah , i noticed that gay men love crowds.

Safety in numbers.

You seldom see two gay men engaging in any sexual act , that they usually do it together in a group.

The word here is orgy.

So you see ..

One condom. 5 asses .

Everyone knows that asses have no natural lubricants , and that lubes are definitely a must-have for anal sex.

Which means that the condom would be worn quite thinly from all that friction. ( look , 5 asses are alot of ass ! And i don't think that in the throes of passion anyone would be bothered enough to change his condom )

Thus increasing the risk of breakage.

And assholes are even more susceptible to spreadin the virus as they're such a conducive place for viruses to mutiply in.

So there you have it.

Abstinance is the best form of preventing STDs lah. Wanking off isn't so bad you know , at least you don't have to exert so much force , its "own time own target" and you get to train your biceps.

I feel very strongly about such people.

People who fuck around without knowing they have AIDS and in turn spread the virus to the person.

Actually it serves that person right also la. Who ask you to be so loose in the first place ?

And even worse , people who KNOW that he/she have AIDS and still continue infecting people because they want others to share their misery and thats really a damn despicable act.

Heinous motherfuckers.

I hope you have fun eating cauliflowers harvested from your balls.

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would you like to eat my cauliflowers ?


listening to : koRn - right now ( yes again )

p/s : actually cauliflower-like growths are not a sympton ( how the F do you spell that ) of AIDS but genital warts but usually AIDS sufferers get all the STDS in a package deal so yeah . And yes , i hate eating cauflowers. Broccoli tastes much better anyway.

sexy blogger !

OKok .. The Sexyblogger thingy is like so passe now but what the hell , if you can't beat 'em , join 'em ! And no i don't have a flickr account so i'll have to post it up here.

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Taken today , just before headin out. And yes , i was decently dressed . I was wearing a tube top before i decided to change so the photo turned out looking so wrong la ! By the way blogger damn lag now sia. nabei . publish 10 times , fail 10 times. wow i sound so ah-lian.


to live or to die , its my damn decision

In the wake of the Terri Schiavo case , all i can say is , should i ever slip into a vegetative state , please let me die.

Even if i was fully conscious and aware of my surroundings , but paralysed from neck down , my decision still stands.

Its only humane.


Tuesday, March 29, 2005

god bless

The time now is 1.20a.m , and i've just got news that an earthquake measuring a staggering 8.3 on the richter scale happened near Sumatra and its near to the epicentre of the Dec 26 quake that measured 9.0.

Tsunami alerts have been issued and i'm feeling mighty worried.

Should a tsunami really occur again , it shouldn't take long now for it to hit the shores ..

Its was just a few days ago i was reading in the newspaper about the activation of Tsunami alert centres across the region and now it will be put to use .


Anyone felt tremors ?

I know Shawn Kuku and Kim did .

I heard that Tampines residents felt it as well but i didn't .


Monday, March 28, 2005

the downward spiral

I'm a happy person.

But one thing i hate about myself is that i tend to read too much into a person's actions and now i'm feeling disturbed and perturbed over this particular someone.

But then again , this person's behaviour is so enigmatic .. so paradoxical that i'm always left wondering what in the world does he really take me for and my importance to him.

One moment he can be opening doors for you and the next he would morph into a total jackass and irritate the shit out of you by slamming doors into your face.

Maybe i'm interested in him , maybe not.

After so long , after so many chances , you're still acting like a complete imbecile .

Don't make me hate you.

Because when i do , you can never redeem yourself.

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hail to the Finger


listening to : koRn - right now

Damn i love the lyrics.

"Right now
can't find a way
to get across the hate
whenever i see you

I want to slash and beat you .

I can't control myself

i FUCKING hate you"


Saturday, March 26, 2005

she who belongs to Ubin

Hellllll yeah.

Spent a night @ Pulau Ubin with XC a.k.a Water Chips a.k.a Small rope and his fellow camp instructors and boy it felt really great to be be breathing in Ubin's air again after almost 6 months !

Orgasmic i tell you.

To start things off , we got a ride in one of the NPCC land rovers to the campsite . Quite a new experience for me because usually when i'm Ubin the only mode of transport is pedal power ! Somehow the ride reminded me of the memorable trekking trip i had in Pahang two years back.


Spent a couple of hours at the NPCC campsite's jetty just talking cock and stuffing ourselves with titbits . Since they were all climbing enthusiasts i got a wee bit out of touch with their conversations but still i felt immensely content for reasons still unknown , just by lying on the jetty , shivering in the cool night air and day-dreaming.

Did i mention we tried our hand at fishing and though our catch of a nano-sized cat fish was pathetic , it was still a cause for celebration.

Well done guys.

And then the night really started.

2 girls .. 3 guys.

Think ragged breathing , bodies veiled in sweat .. Skin on skin .

We had barely started out on our "night walk" when the guys started scaring the shit out of us so we grabbed our nearest companion , dragged them into the bushes and raped them.



The journey wasn't an arduous task and what could have been a serene walk through trails so brightly illuminated by the full moon was marred by the guys' attempts to scare us .

" Don't pull Xin Chee's hand so hard ah , wait you realise u're only holding on to his hand . And ONLY his hand"

" Shhh .. Can you all hear that ? Someone is singing the old national anthem .."

" Serene , do you realise that you look like a japanese soldier with that cap on ? Sekali those beings think you're one of them and make you march with them .. "

" Funny , we seem to be walking around the same place .. Haven't we been here before ?"

Slight rustles from the bushes would send Serene and I into a screaming frenzy , only find the culprits reponsible were logical .

Wind and wild boars.

I felt guilty for chanting a few buddhist sutras taught by my grandma because it dawned onto me that i only turned to my religion whenever the situation calls for it which is really wrong.

I don't know why i label myself as a free-thinker when in actual fact i consider myself buddhist though i have an elevated interest in christianity .

Ok i digress.

It was a relief to walk through the gates of the NPCC campsite once again , tired , sweaty and totally parched throats.

Everyone fell right asleep but i didn't because i felt amazingly restless so basically i just sat there fiddling with my phone , observing nature , the night sky and thought some thoughts with the company of a ciggy.

I couldn't help but gawk dumbfoundedly as i looked at Chee scratch himself despite being completely unconscious.

The mosquito bites must have been really itchy.

That , or that he has the attributes of a monkey.

Left Ubin reluctantly but at the same time i longed to shower because wah lao , even though my sweat has evaporated i felt really sticky and whats worse , i busted my hair clip so my hair tumbled down like a mass of hairball freshly regurgitated from a cat's mouth.

Before i end this boring post , i would like to stress that racial cohesion is a very important in our multi-racial society.

In a word , tolerence.

BUT ONE CAN ONLY TOLERATE THIS MUCH ! *gestures with two hands a metre apart*

Its certainly unbearable to put up with terribly lousy vocals and sound systems at 9 fucking a.m when you haven't slept the night before.

Yes , you are right. A malay couple celebrated their love by tying the knot today at my void deck.

And it lasted all the way until 8pm ( which is like now )

I woke up sporadically , my mouth mouthing profanities the whole time, no thanks to the commotion .

My apartment is at the 7th storey but i could already feel the effects full force so i sympathised with those residing in the lower levels. Heh heh heh.

Chinese funerals and malay weddings . Such big events but always the source of ire to those not involved.

Yawn. I have to wake up at like 4am later for the annual "Qin Min Jie" so i'll be popping a sleeping pill to force myself to sleep early which effectively means that i would have slept my saturday away. Literally.


listening to : unknown artiste : gloomy sunday

I don't usually listen to chinese music but i'm so totally in love with Lun Jun Jie's slow songs now .. Goodness. Jay Chou has a match ! ( Calm one are you listening ? )

UPDATE : 9.50 pm and a sleeping pill later ..

I'm still listening to Lin Jun Jie's songs , staring at the wall , dreaming about someone and preparing to sleep .. Kinda afraid of whats to come later because i've never been to a cemetary before !

And to all sleeping pills detractors , don't even start ! I only take it when i need to sleep early ( i'm a nocturnal person ) which is like once in a blue moon so :D


Friday, March 25, 2005

pain is good.

I think i have a slight sadistic streak in me.

I scratched a mosquito bite on my arm till the skin became raw and i rubbed salt into it just now.

And the pain actually felt ... good !

Actually i have been doing that to my mosquito bites for as long as i could remember , experimenting with different substances that would cause pain to it like chilli padi , lemon juice , hot wax , even nail polish remover.

Of course most people would resort to dabbing it with calamine lotion or mopiko but in my opinion pain definitely takes the itch away.

Its like.. creating a diversion !

How do i put it ..

I don't know what kind of crooked theory i've come up with , but i believe that by deliberately causing pain to somewhere else in your body , it alleviates the pain in the original place ( wtf ? )

So its like if i have a tummyache i will start pinching my arms because its supposed to create a diversion in your mind and the pain can be spread equally among the two places.

I remember there was once i was having a really bad headache and in my daze i banged into my bedroom door and all of a sudden my headache was miraculously cured even though my nose felt like it has just suffered a hammering ( and i'm sure you guys know that the top 3 places to feel pain are the shin , the male crotch and the nose ) .

Not surprisingly the headache made an unwelcome return as the pain in my nose subsided.

Which proves my theory ! ( yeah at my own expense. )

After all the body can only feel that much pain.. right ?

Don't assume that i've become looney should you see me pinching myself madly or biting my lips fervently.

Most probably i'm having a stomachache . =D

No harm trying it out .. Do tell me about the results !!


Can't wait to check out Pulau Ubin later !

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submit to mistress fiona or be whipped , you mosquito bite !


listening to : goo goo dolls - Iris


p/s : is it just me , or is "nacissistic" become the IN word lately ? I've been noticing alot of people using this word , especially young girls.

"ignore her lah , she's narcissistic"

"i love the mirror so much , i'm narccisstic"

"we are the narccisstic gurlz!"

The incessant usage makes me wanna hurl. Gosh.

Apparently they feel that its a "big" word and that they would appear more intellectual by hanging it on their lips.

Spelling wrong some more. ( i admit , i used to spell it incorrectly as well until Shawn Kukubudus ever so kindly rectified my mistake :P )

The other "big" words that has been used to death




omg dad what are you doing !?

My dad has a major issue with trust.

Or rather , the lack of it.

On the not-so-rare occasion that he decides to come back to check on me , he would invariably rummage through the rubbish bins in my room and the kitchen.

He thinks i don't know , but i do !

What does he expect to find ?? Used condoms ?!

There was an incident a week ago when he suddenly barged into my room holding an empty lighter between his fingers and demanding why the hell it was there.

"What is this ? You smoke huh ?!"

The first thought that came to my mind wasn't about giving a plausible reason regarding the lighter , but how he actually managed to find it among the pile of used sanitary pads , tissues dripping with mucus and day-old food.

Its disgusting la.

The actual reason why i had the lighter with me was because i accidently kept it when i borrowed it from my friend to light up my ciggy and since it was almost empty he didn't ask for it back.

And yes , if you must know , i'm a social smoker.


So i was pretty flabbergasted and i burst out "Why the hell did you look into the bin in the first place ? Thats so gross !"

"Just tell me why this was in the bin. Why , you become smoker already huh ! Very sat ki hor ?"
"Come on lah ! Equating a lighter to smoking is dumb can ?"

"Then explain this"

He leaned against my bedroom door swirling the stupid lighter around his fingers and i can't help but think about this thing he was holding in his hand rubbing shoulders with my pads. LOL.

"Aiya , my friend's one la. Played around with it then forget to return him lor . As simple as that. Up to you to believe."

What a blatant lie.

Obviously my dad took none of it , he just sighed in resignation and left me alone.

Which is quite a rare occurence because usually he'll just start shouting at me and digging out skeletons from the closet to make me feel really guilty.

So the moral of the story is :

Parents are sneaky creatures. Always dispose of unwanted evidence into the rubbish CHUTE. Nowhere else.

Oh by the way.

Technology is proving to be a hassle in my case.

Recently my dad got himself a swanky new MMS-enabled phone and horrors ! He has learnt to use it.

Now , i can't lie about my whereabouts because he will ask me to take a photo of myself with my surroundings. ( and its impossible to take a photo beforehand because my dad is one bloody smartass cus' he will ask me to do something like "take a photo of your surroundings without your glasses/your palm against your cheek etc" so its damn hard to foretell what action he wants me to do )

Before you jump to the conclusion that i'm a bad daughter who's always lying to her dad , don't.

Being an only child , i'm under constant surveillance and it totally sucks to have someone watching your every move .

Lying is the only way i can do whatever i want even though its bloody obvious that my dad doesn't believe what i say most of the time anyway. heh.

Oh , and he never fails to piss me off when he starts comparing me to his wild younger days with anecdotes like "Don't think i don't know you young people .. You think its very cool to smoke right ?? Wah so cool sia , smoking ! *holds an imaginary cigg and starts puffing it* Let me tell you this , i have been through everything so don't think i don't know !"


And it makes me cringe because he thinks that by saying all that he's being a role-model. Rather , he just makes me feel that he's tryin to indirectly tell me that he was a cool and funky guy when he was young .

You're a has-been , dad ! FACE THE FACT !

listening to : Mudvayne - Not falling

P/s : Guys , can you tell me whether you can see the links/about me on the right hand side ?


Thursday, March 24, 2005


my browser scared the shit out of me when i couldnt see the about me/links/archives on the right side of the page.

can you guys see it ??

woah it has been a busy week. my so called "study break" was spent on leisure and yes i feel extremely guilt-ridden . For that , i shall treat myself to an ice cream later as a form of compensation :P

by the way i'm adding up new links so give me a buzz if you want to be linked !

Of course , it depends whether i like your blog content or not.

iF yOu typE likE thiS hEe hEe heE then don't bother :D

Oh .. Most of you have probably seen this before but i shall put it up again just to insult myself.


My hair ? Don't ask.

The next person who goes "OMFG fiona what the fuck happened to your hair ?!" will get a complimentary brinjal up his nostril.

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goddess in the making

time to step out of this depressing empty apartment..

later , folks !


listening to : metallica - turn the page


new template!

Yup .... New commenting system too !

Good bye , tag board !

I hope Haloscan does not screw up on me =(

Please ignore my extremely aesthetically unpleasing "montage" .

Waddya expect from one hour photoshop job ?!

By the way , would appreciate feedback from different users of browsers like Mozilla .. Or different OS like Mac users .. Just to make sure that it shows up well for everyone =)


It has been a long day .. will update tomorrow.


listening to : taking back sunday - this photograph is proof


Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.


Wednesday, March 23, 2005

i love you !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yawn. Just woke up and suddenly i feel so full of love for my friends.

Just want to do a shoutout to my bestest best friends ..

Yan and Ju !

People may label me as a social butterfly for all i care , but at the end of the day , no matter how big my social circle is , you guys are still the one i know i can fall back on .


Everyone now ..

Awwwwwwwwwwwww !

By the way..

Is it true that its getting easier to get caught for downloading illegal content from P2P programmes like Limewire ??

Mark scared the shit out of me when he said that using Limewire is a very risky way to download stuff because apparently its easier to get caught.

I'm downloading the Office XP from Limewire so i'm keeping my fingers crossed !!!!

Time to meet Ian ( such a long time since we caught up with each other ) for lunch !!



love is in the air !

Unfortunately i'm at the wrong end of it.

No , not receiving love whatsoever.

But i've been subjected to too many public displays of affections recently and i feel compelled to address the issue.

Shelly baby , i know you and Nashy are terribly in love .

But it feels kinda awkward to have your friends making out with the clothes on behind you.

On the bed some more , aiyo !

Liberated as i am , i can't help but feel my cheeks burn whenever i catch sight of you guys locked in an embrace , in a position that makes me think of one word.


Of course , i'm okay with you guys being touchy and all but it makes me really uncomfortable and "outcasted" when its just the three of us and the two of you are frolicking happily on the bed.


I'm not trying to preach / "act" innocent here !!

Its just that .. Ah .. how do i put it across..


Okay , lets just say that if GGYY was around , you guys can even make out in the nude in front of me and i won't even flinch because i have GGYY for company , having another person's presence diverts my embarrassement and the nagging feeling of playing gooseberry =D

Some of you who know me personally might refute me by saying that since i'm unable to comphrehend the surge of emotions ( ack ! sounds so mushy ) that makes you want to hold your partner close because i've never been in a relationship before.

Well , technically speaking i may not be , but i've dated guys seriously before. It just stopped short of a status , thats all.


I'll be damned. Why am i even standing up for myself when noone's even asking. LOL.

Julynn , don't think you can escape my wrath this time !

I will NEVER forget the day i was chasing Snowy around your apartment , only to find you and your lil' suga munchie pie ( wtf ?! ) entwined together like vines and his hand under your skirt.


Whats worse , i had to pretend to be totally oblivious to what was going on and continue letting Snowy give me a bath with his tongue and humping my leg every few minutes when all i wanted to do was to shriek/scream/yelp , pry the two of you apart and haul you to the nearest church for a confessional.


Its one thing to see strangers fondling and straddling each other but your BEST FRIEND !???????

The feeling is just so wrong la !

For a few weeks after that the image was etched in my mind and everytime i looked at you i would see your lil suga munchie pie's hand under your skirt.

I'm not a perv lah !! Its a natural reaction i guess.

Yes , disgusted is too strong a word but that was exactly how i felt.

I can't help but feel that you're being exploited even though i know you're a willing victim. LOL.

The point of this entry is , please , i beseech you , my friends.

I may not look like it , but i get embarrassed easily .

Crude language , x-rated topics and even porn don't faze me.

You can tell me all you want about your latest fling or how your other half almost broke your back in bed last night. I'm all ears.

But no live telecasts please !!

I know all about the birds and the bees.

Really , i do.

I may not have seen it before , but i believe that the day will come :D

If you really have to / unable to control your urges / feel that your partner is so lovable that you just wanna smother her under you , make sure that i have company or give me time to scurry away. Heh.

No offence ya , Shelly and Ju .

You know i love you girls :D


Goodness gracious , young people nowadays. *shakes head*

LOL ! I was kidding.


By now i guess every normal , non-geeky teenager/youth/young adult ( blah whatever what is it with terms nowadays can't we all just stick to one !? ) will know that NewUrbanMale is a predominantly gay shop.

And it pisses me off.

I've always wanted to blog this but it always slipped my mind so even though i'm dead tired now i'm gonna do so .

About a one and a half month ago i was shopping with HH and we bounced happily into the shop.

Now , HH isn't gay but lets face it.


HH is quite big built ( bloody gym rat ) , has an angular jaw and is very tanned.

He is what ( gay ) wet dreams are made of.


This tee caught my eye and i couldnt find it in my size so i took it off the rack and went to find a SA ( Sales Assistant ) .

I must admit that the SAs from NUM are quite delicious looking. Too bad about their rumoured sexual inclination.


I may be petite but i am bloody sure that i am not nano-sized.

I dangled the tee in front of the SA who was sitting prettily behind the cashier machine.

I tapped the machine lightly.

I dangled the tee again.

He looked at me with a peeved look and grabbed my tee

"$24.50 . Nets or cash ?"

Blooooooooody hell !

I forced a wry smile .

"No , i just want to know if you have this in small"

He barely glanced at the tee.

"No , Don't have. Only other colours."

Wow. Is he psychic or what.

I decided not to buy it anyway and joined HH over at the men's section.

He decided on one and he brought it over to the counter. The SA immediately stood up started folding it with utmost care , when he pointed out a minor flaw near the hem and disappeared somewhere , only to emerge with a brand new piece.

He was all smiles and his new-found cheery disposition was a 360 change from his previous sullen self.


I know i not very chio la , i know even if i chio you won't even give me a second glance.


At least also can entertain me by pretending to go and check up on the stock with regards to my tee right ?!

All my 19 years , i've never felt ashamed of belonging to the fairer sex , nor felt so downright unattractive.

But i'm feeling ostracised because of one stupid SA ?!

From the moment HH stood in front of him , his eyes never left HH.

Like some sort of leery men-hungry humsup wolf , he raped HH with his eyes.

And he was wearing one of those tight-sleeved , V-collared things. ( Him , not HH )

Like i've said earlier , i'm pro-gay.

But one must learn to draw the line , after all you're being paid to be here.

To smile and offer help whenever possible to your customers , regardless of gender.

You're not being paid to pick up guys for partners to attend the Mardi Gras or what-have-you and end up getting accused of being an AIDS spreader by some hare-brained minister.

Customer service is what i take pride in since i'm working part time in the service industry.

Urghh thinking about it makes me want to storm into NUM , wallop them with gay-porn VCDs and stuff two dildos into their nostrils.

The end of the month is drawing near , which means it is time for my monthly shopping spree ! I shall step into NUM once more .

They'd better redeem themselves .

NUM = Nasty Unfriendly Men


Listening to : Seal - Kiss from a rose


Tuesday, March 22, 2005

vous me confondez

vous rendez meme me le sentir non desire parfois

mais toujours

je pense que je tombe

toujours pour vous


Excuse my french.

I suck at it and most of the text above was done with the help of a pocket dictionary.



la vie en rose ! ( translation : life in pink . i think so. )

Its almost 11am and surprise !

I've been up and about since 8am.

Without the aid of caffeine or annoying friends .

Its a good start , since i've been wanting to have a normal bedtime , its necessary to have a normal rise-and-shine time.

And since its my one week study break now , its entirely up to me to decide . HOLLA !!

I just realised that early mornings are utterly boring .

So what does one do after breakfast , the daily papers and dumping stale clothes into the washing machine ?

Nothing. ( I'm not a TV person so don't you dare suggest )

I toyed around with make-up . I decided i want to look like a groupie of Good Charlotte and hence i piled on the eye kohl.

This is the very unflattering result .

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fuck yeah !

I don't know why i have the inclination to look slutty whenever i look away from the camera lens.

Since i have nothing to do now , i think its a better to hit the books for a while and revise.

YES. My exams are around the corner.

Bloooooooooooooody hell.

By the way i did something naughty yesterday..

I didn't pay when i boarded the bus !!

Not that i didn't want to , it just so happened that my ez-link card was depleted and i didn't have small change on me.

So i decided to pull off the scam of the millenium.

I pretended to hold a card ( which is my pocket mirror ) in my hand and tapped the card reader.


Of course it helped that i was petite and managed to hide myself behind the passengers and besides it was the peak hour.

I was so bloody pleased with myself for being such a smartass that i pulled off the trick not once , but thrice.



Listening to : RHCP - By the way


retail therapy is bad. very .

I swear that a watch is definitely not on my wish list but the lure was too strong .

There was an instant attraction.

A fatal one.

It took me less than 5 minutes of contemplation before i handed my ATM card to the gleeful cashier.

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Now , $80++ might not be alot ( actually it IS quite alot to a poor struggling student like me ) but for something that i know won't be seeing the light of day for more than a few times , its an unecessary evil.

Besides , i don't have alot of blue/white outfits.

I'm not someone who loves her accessories either.


I feel the need to share with you an incident i encountered today.

Was on my way to the bus stop when i saw this really sweet cocker spaniel running behind its owner and i couldn't resist stopping to give it a pat.

The owner was a fit elderly man and he stopped to make small talk with me seeing that i was very interested in his dog.

"You know , Jacky's a blind dog."

"Really ?!"

I looked at his eyes. They were silver in colour and suddenly i felt that Jacky was a very old dog.

"Yup .. He's old as i am in dog years ! No , even older !"

He chuckled and rubbed Jacky's back .

"He's blind , but he's a good dog. He knows the sound of me swatting rolled newspaper whenever we go for our walks."

He stood up and did a demostration.

As he jogged away , he slapped a roll of newspapers against his thigh and surely enough , Jacky followed him eagerly and they were off.

The way he chased after his owner , he did not look like a blind dog at all.

I couldn't help but smile to myself.

Surely , its during times like these that make you want to count your blessings and appreciate life.


listening to : Judas Priest - One for the road


Monday, March 21, 2005

i hate starbucks.


The 4 of us have ran out ot topics to talk about.

Just a few moments ago , during a bout of silence, J said "Do you know that the average human lifespan is only 50 during the 1700s ?"

We stared at him , mouth gaping wide.

An awkward silence prevailed once again and then Ros coughed and said "Er , okay .. Then ?"

To which J took a swig from his already warm Green Tea frap and shrugged . "Nothing , just tellin you all lor. Food for thought mah. Trivia you know ?"

I don't know why i'm bloggin this down , nor the reason why we're still stoning at Starbucks.


If any of you happen to be reading this now ( 3-4pm ) , and you're in the Tampines area , pray drop by and provide me some live entertainment.


I miss him already = (


still listening to J's gay pink iPod - Edith Piaf : La Vie En Rose

Oh this song reminds me of "Love me if you dare" . A great movie. Fantastic ending.

Quand il me prend dans ses bras
Il me parle tout bas
Je vois la vie en rose.


monday blooooooos

Its not hard to feel grumpy when your bunch of donkey friends comes a-knocking at your door ( or rather , they pounded at my door and windows ) at 9 bloody am to drag you out for breakfast.

And being the merciless assholes that they are , Ros , Ming and J gave me only 10 minutes to wash up and dress decently !!!!

And now its 1.30pm , we're slacking at Starbucks sitting in random poses and i'm blogging away on J's laptop.

Not exactly my idea of fun.

I shall kill them off one by one later.


listening to J's iPod : Pearl Jam - Last kiss

Believe it or not , his iPod is pink in colour. How GAY !


ooooh. boogeyman !

Felt so incredibly dumb as i watched The Boogeyman with XC just now.

Throughout the show i had my palm over my eyes even though it was most probably the sound effects that frightened me.

And like most horror flicks , the ending was terribly cliched and anti-climax . Not to mention , it left many question marks hanging over my head.

Really la , western horror flicks cannot make it.

We proceeded to observe stray cats frolicking about . XC thinks that they're having territorial fights , i felt that they were just playing because it seemed to me that they were just smacking each other lightly with their paws and doing somersaults.


Gender differences.

The violent male mind .


Sunday, March 20, 2005

how could you ?

Came across this while blog-hopping.


By Jim Willis, 2001

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend.

Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a bellyrub. My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together.

I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.

Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love."

As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.

There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.

Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers."

You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life.

You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.

When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room

.A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, andI know that, the same way I knew your every mood.

She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place.

And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.


Being the proud owner of two happy , fat and lazy hamsters , i can never understand why people abandon pets . Bloody hell.


goldfish memory ( also known as the 3 seconds memory )

Just got home from a night @ Gotham Penthouse.

It was alright i guess , nothing eventful and as usual i morphed into my very "lesbian" alter-ego and started getting raunchy with the girls after my fifth glass of cranberry vodka.

Waking up the morning after ( or noon to be exact ) always leaves me scratching my head because my mind ALWAYS erases all memory between my fifth drink and the moment i start to wake up from my stupor / fall asleep . ( yes , i always forget everything , doesn't matter whether i'm totally wasted or not)

Not always a bad thing though , considering how i always make a fool out of myself by sms-ing/calling random people whenever the kick sets in.

Selective memory la . Forget the bad , remember the good. :D

I'm still feeling like i'm in a whirl right now.

Will probably wake up later and forget that i even wrote this post.

Pardon the grammar mistakes. Will rectify it when i am not so tired. Lethargy does wonders to one's sanity.

Urghhh. I feel like a shithead.

Stupid diluted drinks at Gotham. I drank so much yet all i could feel was that little blink-and-you-miss buzz ?!!!

Not to mention , endless trips to the loo.

Good night.


listening to : The Ataris - The saddest song ( ironically the song isn't very sad leh . maybe they should rename it as The Not so sad song . The song starts off sounding very boy-bandish though)

By the way , i can't believe that i downloaded Britney Spears' Do something.


Saturday, March 19, 2005

the things people say

All of a sudden i remembered this conversation i had with XC .

Damn classic , i tell you !

Me : So what happened after you woke up from yr surgery ?

XC : Felt damn thirsty lor !

Me : They never give you anything to drink meh ?

XC : No leh .. I asked for water but they didn't have water .. so they gave me *pauses for a moment* .. water chips to suck on.

*looks at XC , bewildered*

Me : What the hell are water chips ?!

XC : *pauses again* haha sorry , i meant ice .

Me : Then say ice lah !

XC : Ha ha ha ha i don't know leh i was thinking of the word water so i just said water chips without thinking lor .


Yeah , happens all the time. You tend to blurt out something your mind is thinking about and most of the time it isn't your intention to do so .

I have many a times shouted to my collegue who's in charge of making the drinks

"One regular ten dollars !!"

Yep . Always happens when you have to shout the orders to your collegue and remind the customer about the total amount they have to pay.

But i think this has to take the cake when it comes to on-the-job bloopers

M ( she loves her vulgarities ) : hi sir , how can i help ?

Customer : Yes , erm , can you change these to coins ? ( passes M a ten dollar note )

M ( immediately without thinking ) : WHAT THE FUCK!?

I doubled up and squatted under the counter and laughed my ass off while M started profusely apologising.

The bottomline ?

Spend at least two seconds thinking before you speak. You may come across as slow-witted but so ?


but you did not

I thought he would drop by my workplace today but .. he did not.

I stared wistfully at the clock and scanned the crowds every few seconds , hoping he woukd appear suddenly with a silly grin etched across his face .. but he did not.

I swivelled my phone on my palm whenever my counter was free of customers , wishing that the next time i look at my phone , there would be a "one message received" . Well , there was , but it was from a dubious 1117 with the message "Make friends today ! Dial 1900-011-1234!" .

But of course. It always happens.

oh geeeeeez !

Working at the airport allows me to people-watch freely , to observe their mannerisms but most of all , their dress sense.

Believe me when i say that caucasians commit the most fashion faux paux . Surprisingly locals have quite a decent dress sense , even for the middle-aged ones .

My jaws almost dropped when i served this lady who wore cargo pants WITH STILETTOS .

Hello ? J-Lo may carry off that look ( though not necessary well ) but not when you're a frumpy woman with a mid-life crisis and saggy boobs.

List of cringe-inducing dress sense i've seen today ( yes , i wrote them down while working )

1) Sandals with socks.

2) Pink skirt with a green racerback top and matching green shoes ( I don't care if your shoes and top are matching . HELLO ?! Pink and green ?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yes , the wearer is a young lady from China. )

3) This very attention seeking trannie who wore a bikini top , a very tight fitting pair of Levis' AND MATCHING BIKINI BOTTOM THAT PROTUDED FROM HER ASS. And the bikini was bright orange in colour !!!!!!!!! "Heshe" had a great figure though.

Modesty is definitely not in her vocabulary.

And lastly

4) Skinny secondary school boys wearing loose-fitting pink polo tees from Giordano and fake Nike dunks.

I'm no fashion diva myself but i can never understand why a simple such as colour-coordination is so daunting and impossible to achieve for some people.

And why on earth do some people buy shoes in obnoxious colours like yellow when they very well know that they can only afford one pair ?! Why not buy neutral colours that would match almost all colours instead ?


Its rather therapeutic to come home after a long day to rant in my blog. Its really an avenue to vent my frustrations . I don't have alot of probs , but i get all sensitive and evrything for no reason sometimes.

I shan't elaborate but today someone did get on my nerves unknowingly but its hard to remain pissed with someone you have a slight crush on :D

Ohhhhhhh yeah . Gotham Penthouse tomorrow !!!!! It ain't no ladies' night so i'll have to part with cash for the first time in a long while after all those wednesday nights but since they have free-flow of vodka tomorrow , its not so bad.


I want to get wasted so badly.

I want to walk into scaffoldings and lamp posts and not feel pain.


Listening to : Telepopmusik - Breath


Wednesday, March 16, 2005

what is the worst thing that you have ever done ?

This was the question Kevin Bacon asked Vickie when probed about his deep dark secret.

Her answer ?

She slept with her best friend's husband .

My answer ?

I stole $100 from my grandfather when i was in sec 3 .

Yes , it doesn't sound that bad , but when its your grandparents that you have such respect for , it becomes a cardinal sin.

What is the worst thing that YOU have ever done?


listening to : Keane - Somewhere only we know


adventures of loo-cy the cockcroach

Unlike most girls , i do not have an irrepressible fear of six-legged creatures. While staring at a cockcroach or a slug a hair's breadth away will probably make everyone else barf or send them into a mouth-foaming spasm , i actually like observing them .

But of course i don't touch them lah.

But yesterday's incident will send even the bravest into fits .

At around 4am , i was in the midst of getting a harsh scolding from my dad because i went home really late.

So as usual my dad repeated these done-to-death phrases

"You think this home your hotel ah ? Come and go as you wish ?" ( Of course not dad , hotel rates are expensive whereas i'm staying for free )

"You think your father is dead huh ? Don't you not have any respect for me at all ?" ( I don't see the link between respect and a 19 year old staying out late )

"No more next time i tell you !" ( Riiiiiiight. )

How i managed to maneuver around the furniture in the dark with only a towel wrapped around myself ( My dad caught me just as i was going to sneak into the common bathroom ) and into the master bedroom's bathroom to get my facial cleanser was a miracle in itself.

But how my dad managed to follow me around the house as i tried to shun his nagging was the bigger miracle.

While trying to reach for the cleanser in the dark , i tried not to pay heed to the monotonous drawl of his lectures and hummed quietly to myself.


I stepped on something .

Doesn't matter what it was but i knew if i stepped on something that felt like that at 4am it can't be something good.

I yelled and i don't know what the fuck i was doing but i guess it was a body's natural reflexes to flail yr hands around while yelling . So my towel dropped and i groped around in the dark to look for it while praying the intruder doesn't crawl up my legs. '

My dad turned on the lights and sure enough there was an incredibly huge oily-looking cockcroach with half of his body flattened.

Yes , my towel was around me by the time the lights were on ( big thanks to calmone :P )



It appeared quite incoherent because it went around in circles , dragging a wet trail behind it.

And yes , there was a small smudge of wetness where i stepped on it.


My dad , being the perfect house-man , couldnt stand the sight of a cockcroach in his immaculate toilet and went to retrieve the Baygon.

I quickly grabbed the chance and hopped one legged to the common bathroom because you don't want cockcroach juice from the bottom of your foot all over the house don't you ??

As the saying goes , no big loss without some small gain.

At least the cockcroach helped create a diversion !!! HA !

At the expense of its life :P

I almost slipped and died because being the brainless me i used undiluted Dettol on my foot and as everyone knows Dettol is alkaline and alkaline is very soapy.

And yes my foot is still feeling soapy.


Caught The Woodsman with Tre , with Shelly and Nash sitting on the other side of the theatre because it was a last minute decision on their part to catch it.

I must say that although the plot wasn't exactly original , predictable in some parts , Kevin Bacon's performance as a paedophile struggling to shake off his past was very compelling and every nuance of his expressions so genuine that his performance alone outshone the entire film.

I don't know why but i kept imagining him as a skull because his face looked so boney and his face looked "tight" .


Tre , the "driver with 2 weeks old probational driving licence" kept me entertained the whole night with his bursts of "Shits!" "Oh fuck !" "Damn!" every few minutes because

1) He had taken a wrong turn
2) He had lost his bearings and had to resort to asking me , the "compass without a needle" for directions.
3) Some other equally reckless driver had pissed him off ( Which was quite frequent i noticed )
4) He had to make illegal turns at the most awkward places . Like turning right when we're in the middle lane , or making a U-turn through the narrowest space between a road divider.

But the highlight of the night HAD to be this.

Stopping at East Coast for a few rounds of pool , he reversed into the parking lot and said

"You know , this place is teeming with parking attendants .."

" Relax lah , its 2am ! They need to sleep too you know !"

"Hello ? Parking attendants are around 24/7 !"

"Chill lah .. We won't be that unlucky"

My ass !

After getting thrashed ( as usual ) at pool , we happily made our way back to the car.

Then i heard a groan from Tre .

He held a long strip of paper in his hand.

"SUMMONS !!!!!!!!!! - Insert string of expletives here- !"

I was amazed . How very lucky .

The impossible had happened .

"2.41 a.m some more ! We were already on our way here !!!! - Insert more expletives here-"

I glanced at my handphone.

It was already 3.15a.m but i didn't have the heart to tell him but since he reads my blog he'll find out anyway. =P

Comparing him to other rides i had from my friends , he was somewhere in the middle .

Joel had to be the worst !

Which other moronic driver drives in a swiggly S-shaped way just to scare me IN THE MIDDLE OF A BUSTLING ROAD ?!

Or how about abruptly braking and accelerating ?

By the way i was quite disgusted by the sloppy way the stall vendor of the famous "Bak Chor Mee" at Bedok Blk 85 packed my noodles.

Usually , chilli would in a cute little plastic pouch right ?

Hell no.

I went home to find the chilli squashed beneath the packet of noodles and the plastic bag .

Do they do this everytime or what ????



Listening to : Story of the Year - Sidewalks


Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Okay guess what.

I really believe that my body indeed loves toying around with me.


And then on normal school days i will definitely feel so lethargic that i usually return to slumberland on the pretext of "only 5 more mins" only to wake up 2 hours later and very very very late for class.


By the way i just sneezed for like 10 consecutive times and i'm feeling rather breathless. Lol.

Time to have a shower and then head out for a day of "inspiration-seeking" .


What time is it ? ( No its not Tiger time )

I've been waking up at the oddest hours recently .

Either my bladder has some unhappy issues with me or my body just loves playing mind games with me.


And then i'll find myself inevitably parked in front of the fridge to erm , regulate my digestive system :p

I have no qualms about eating in the wee hours of the morning since i'm blessed ( or cursed ) with an incredibly high metabolism rate but it just doesn't feel right to have a sandwich and an iced coffee at 5am.

The coffee i made tastes oddly insipid today.

Oh well.

Might as well consolation in the fact that i do not have class today and will be able to make time to visit my "attaining Nirvana" spot at East Coast to seek inspiration for my bloody scriptwriting.

Yes , its my third attempt at it . It sucks being a perfectionalist ( if only for what you really love ) because you waste a lot of time re-doing the unecessary.

I know la , sounds incredibly cliched . As in , its laugh-out lame la to think about me sitting alone in some secluded part of a beach to work on a script.

As always in the movies , then some random cute guy will appear from nowhere . He will be very melacholy because his girlfriend left him , and will be playing a lonely tune with his violin.

Then the arty-farty female lead ( yours truly ) will be captivated by his playing , and will walk up to him and say with a faraway voice with her long silky hair flying gently in the wind " hey thats a such a beautiful tune ... You play very well"

Then he will look at her with wistful smile and tell her all about his sad story. She cries and while tugging at the helm of his shirt , says "I understand all that , i've been through it before .."

And then he will enquire about her reason for being here and then they will start reminiscing again as they look through her scripts , which is bound to be some tragedic romance story.

Then by dusk , she will be lying on his lap while he plays his violin...........


The next time i read a script with such a done-to-death plot , i will seek the writer out and slap her ( its GOT to be a her ) with a trout.

Okay , time for bed again.


Monday, March 14, 2005

Hello , what a nice crotch you have there , mate

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This ad caught my eye while flipping through I.S Magazine ( Nash , Shelly's hubby is a graphic designer for them !! ) .

By the way , the model's abs look quite scary . Its almost like a dented keloid scar !

I was laughing so hard to myself that my concerned hamsters pressed their noses against their glass cage to look at me ( yeah right ) .

Note that the brief itself is not a penis-enlargement device .

The main purpose of it is to make them look bigger than it actually is !

Hmm. The push-up bra equivalent for men perhaps ?

Gee , i don't know the purpose .

I've never , nor heard of , women checking out crotches the way men check out cleavages .


Even if there ARE people ( read : Gays and women with erm , special preferences ) who check out crotches , i don't think that the difference is enough for them to garner a second glance simply because its gonna be hidden under all those denim , cotton and what-have-you , unlike cleavages where at least low-cut tops will do the trick.

There are no pants that cater to the exhibition of crotches , no ?

At least , i hope not.

Interestingly enough its being sold at this shop called NewUrbanMale , where the sales staff are notorious for er , preferential treatment despite the fact that there is a women's section in the shop although menswear make up the majority .

With T-shirts bearing the slogans "All men go to hell. That's why i'm not going to heaven" , "Don't just eat bananas" and "because life is not a straight line" , its obvious about the agenda of the shop itself.

Oh wait. So thats what its being made for -

Quote from the designer of the briefs

"This line ( of underwear ) is targeted at men who care as much about how they look getting undressed as they do while dressed"

No , don't get me wrong. I'm not homophobic.

In fact , i'd like to consider myself bisexual . Well , its another story altogether.

But i would get really nauseous if my date turns up wearing something like this

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I don't care if you have a nice chest ! That is irrelevant to me.

It might look really good on some men , but i really am unable to appreciate V-neck tees on men.

Its disgusting , really.

Neither can i stand sleeveless tops . For casual wear ( i.e chalets , soccer etc ) , yes , but not during a trip to town .

And of course , NO TIGHT FITTING TOPS .

Or bottoms , for that matter.

I don't know why . Heh.

Metrosexuality is fine by me , a well-groomed guy is aesthetically pleasing but go easy on the apparel will you ?

I think i'm too late in addressing the recent "Ban gay parties ! They increase the number of AIDS carriers"

Headlines of The Straits Times. So bloody embarrassing !

Came out of a minister's mouth some more.

I find it damn stupid la. Come on , there's no proof that every gay fucks around .

Even so , they are not stupid . They know unprotected sex is damn risky.

They know that AIDS is much more easily transmitted through anal sex.

They've been there , done that . Seen more of the world than you , Mr Minister.

While you were being cooped up in some cold university classroom studying Political science , they were out there learning how to be streetwise.

Sure , the New Paper on Sunday had a very titillating picture of men openly having a mass orgy of sorts during Zoukout 2000. ( Blurred of course ! )

But what does that prove?

Maybe the fact that gays are more liberalised. And ?

Nothing else. Its an open secret about what goes on in gay relationships.

Not to sheltered ministers though.

a life of death

Caught this short film on arts central's shortcut just now.

Synopsis from the website :

"Throughout the 20th Century, and now into the 21st, wars have been waged all over the globe under the banner proclamation that conflict ultimately leads to world peace. A Life of Death presents the cost of this irony by poetically answering the question: What is the price of lasting peace?"

It was so poignant that i cried my eyes out even though the film was only like 7 minutes at most .

Very very beautifully executed .

The poem even more so .

Excerpts :

"What was the price of lasting peace ?
The ( seventh powers of ten ) times three"

"My little brother cried at night
But i assured "No need for fright.
There cannot be but peace on earth
We've paid full price for what its worth"


I want to make a film as powerful as this.


Listening to : Embrace - Gravity


Not again ! *facepalm*


Woke up too early for class ( It starts at 12 ) and i know i mustn't fall back into bed because my slumber knows no end so i wound up making another quiz. :D


Listening to : Disturbed - Liberate


the glutton

timecheck: 4.46a.m

Woke up to visit the loo but ended up sitting in front of the fridge eating 3 Chipsmore cookies and a bottle of apple Yakult.


America .. Fuck yeah !

Caught Team America : World Police with XC just now

Well , the show was fine i guess , nothing much to shout about except that i must i was impressed by the sets because they were damn detailed !

It was entertaining on the whole , wasn't as knee-slapping funny as Harold and Kumar or the legendary Bruce Almighty .

It got a lil draggy 3/4 into the show but XC was laughing throughout the entire movie so i guess he must have loved it :P

Next movie i wanna watch : The woodsman


Listening to : Last days of april - Aspirin and Alchohol


Sunday, March 13, 2005


You know its love when you look at her and all you can think of are silhouettes of a couple sitting by a beach flanked by the setting sun , wedding rings and the pain of spending $ when on dates.

You know its lust when you look at her and all you can think of is how her long hair would cover her face when she's giving you a blowjob.


Anyone care to add on ??


Song i've been listening on repeat mode last night :

Disturbed - Meaning of life

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

Damien Rice - The blower's daughter

Jay Chou - Jie Kou

Chucky Berry - Johnny B.Goode


Saturday, March 12, 2005

Do us all a favour

Though i'm no longer from Temasek Poly , i am supporting this petition though its not very well written but the message is there.

Its true how the government often treat us poly students as "Second class" when compared to the JC students .

Take the SARS incident for example.

JC students get 2 weeks off from school while Poly students get nothing at all ( or a few days if i'm not wrong .. I was still in secondary sch during that crisis ) !??!

What , you mean the immunity of poly students are better ?!

Come on. The bias is so obvious.

I know of the invisible lines of enmity between JCs and polys .

The former has a holier-than-thou aura around 'em and the very wrong perception that poly students are on a lower rung in the social ladder.

In a nutshell : Disdain

The latter finds JC students too smug , conformist and its an open secret that most poly students are there because their O level results cannot make it lah .

Like me :P

But then again about 20% of students score well enough to qualify for a JC but prefers the alternative education route so its really wrong to label poly students so negatively.

Of course not everyone share the same views as me , but grab any tertiary student off the streets and promising them absolute anonymity , they'll probably start ranting about the segregation between the two from my POVs .

I have friends from NYP who ALWAYS complain about the exodus of AJC students always creeping into the NYP campus and eating in their canteens. Their complaints ?

"Wah lao eh , those AJC students , bus fare so cheap liao still come our canteen and eat our food . See , create more queues only . assholes ."

Well , if it was some secondary school students that sneak into their school ( i'm using sec school students as an example because they also enjoy concession ) , i don't think NYP students would even bother to express their ire.

I don't know if its right to label most JC students as smug , but unfortunately , experience tells me that it is true.

From the exaggerated accents to the wrong use of cheem vocabulary to impress ( example : yeah , she's so ironic until she mistook her remote control for her handphone . Then she went to jeopardise it by charging it with her charger ! )

And the indignation thats always present in conversations

fiona : yup .. in lecture halls.

JCgirl : i see.... are they air-conditioned ?

fiona : yes of course .. we're not exactly stuck in the stonehenge period you know .

JCgirl : *gasps audibly* no seriously , i've always had this impression that lessons in polys are held in boiler-rooms lookalikes ..

fiona : but why ?

JCgirl : because the courses all engineering what !!

fiona : you're wrong .. don't you know that there's bio-med , business and design courses too ?

JCgirl : *stands up and her jaws drops to the floor * YOU"RE KIDDING ME !

Okay obviously i made it up but you get the idea .

Ironically , one of my best girl friend is formerly from TPJC . She does exhibit some of the irritating traits of JC students occasionally , but , she's still unlike most of the JC students i've encountered.

What say you , my JC students readers ?

Azrul ? :P

Sammm ?


Friday, March 11, 2005


Its definite .

Daniel Bedingfield's latest album is a total flop.

I get really peeved when they start playing his songs on the radio because

1) The tunes suck

2) The lyrics are corny.

E.g " Nothing hurts like love ! Nothing brings your heart so much pain"

"If i wrap my words around you would you stay would you stay ?"

Since i don't usually download pop music , i get my dose of it from the radio.

Its guys like him that makes me shun pop music.

Okay , time go back to my presentation work again.

Yes , you've got that right.

Its friday evening and i rushed home from school just to complete it.


food for thought

Spontaneous Human Combustion : Fact or myth ?

View from a skeptic's point view :

Personally , i don't believe in it lah .

So Xin Chee , toooooooooooo bad :P

Alrite , time for school.


it never rains , but pours

In between tearing up clumps of hair and letting it rain down on me like confetti and screwing around with Powerpoint for my presentation thats due on mon , i decided to take a lil' break to blog even though it doesn't offer much respite because i am still typing and my right arm is bloody aching.

Was falling asleep on the bus while having a aural-orgasm listening to Symphony 92.4 F.M on my receiver. You know , Bach and Beethoven and Chopin.

Yes , i have never been a classical music person and the closest i have got to it is buying Enya and half-priced new age CDs. Heh.

Oi , after all i'm classically trained in violin hor !


It has been proven that most people are able to sense if someone is following or looking at them from behind. Don't ask why. Intuition maybe ?

I felt this uncanny disturbance within me as described above and i looked behind my shoulders without turning my head ( an acquired skill ! you need really flexible eyeballs. lol ) and i saw fingers precariously perched near on the window "ledge" close to my shoulder blade and i didn't suppose that the person has realised that i'm very much alert to his intrusion because his hand was inching nearer and nearer.

I quickly jerked my shoulder away and slid down the seat a little more. I dismissed it as accidental and that i shouldn't read too much into this person's actions.

Wrong wrong wrong.

I was about to fall asleep again when i swear i felt something brush against the back of my head.

I deployed my eyeball-swivelling skills again and i found a calloused finger hovering just next to my right ear.


I turned around and gave this rather decent looking man The Eye.

He didn't seemed to be in the least sorry nor perturbed though he looked away to avoid my stare.

I think it helped because for the rest of the trip to Hougang , i did not have any straying fingers playing with my hair or attempting to touch my shoulder.

I was quite livid that i didn't get to nap on the bus though.

Once i got down at Hougang , i met up with L and related to him the entire episode and we scoured the whole interchange for that perv but he had already dissipated into the crowd. Damn , he was THAT fast.

Sneaky bastard.

Would love to describe him so that you girls can be on the alert. But all i can remember is that he has really thickly gelled hair with a centre-parting and is clean shaven. With a white polo tee.


By the way , before i met up with L , i had a field day with Shelly reliving our deprieved childhood at Toys'R'Us.

I want Sea-monkeys and an antquarium so badly :(

Looking at all those gizmos parading as toys on sale , i can't help but feel a little envious of today's kids.

But in no way have i ever regretted my childhood nor detested it.

What we didn't have in the past , we made up for it by spending hours at playgrounds , void decks and those long corridoors playing silly games like "Catching" , 'Block-catching" and "Blind mice".

Of course nobody plays it honest when playin "Blind mice".

It is virtually impossible to navigate around the playground equipment without disfiguring yourself while trying to catch your friends with eyes tightly shut.

Its just an open secret that nobody discusses when playing "Blind mice".

And boy , i love "Block catching" !!!!

In Bedok , where i grew up , my block had 3 really long corridoors that spanned the entire length of the block and there were no less than 6 different staircases with 13 levels to run about.

And yes , we ran barefooted.

One of the silly meaningless stuff we used to do was to get a few people downstairs while the rest upstairs threw slippers down and those downstairs would have to catch it.

I even remember changing in the staircase with one of my neighbour and we wore each other's shorts . If i'm not wrong , we almost exchanged panties too ! LOL ! I'm not lying !

And without fail , after an afternoon's worth of play , we would march down to the row of shops down the road clutching twenty cents in our hands and we would buy two "ice packs" each.

Or rather , "Sheng bao" , the more affectionate term that transcended all races despite the term being hokkien. Every kid knew it .

The cheap , sweet and icy treat that dyes your tongue that our parents hated because they claimed its just "water and colouring and its going to be bad for you"

My favourite was the purple one . I remember red being the least popular. Heh.

One thing that sets my childhood apart from my contemporaries : I used to explore drains and canals !!!


Drains as in those with metal grilles that needs alot of strength to be flipped open.

Drains were amazing , they really were.

I still have it down pat the cobwebs that hung from the very low ceilings ( we all became Quasimodos while in the drains ) that stuck to our sweaty faces , and our hands gripping the rough walls because the floor was extremely slippery with the algae and the brownish muck.

Drains all lead to open-air canals as we would find out after exploring a few drains and the open-air canals never failed to cause at least one of us to fall down because it was really very slippery.

And how can i ever forget how coconut trees were a constant source of entertainment ?

There was this coconut tree that was right beside this ledge and we all get cheap thrills by grabbing a big strong "branch" and swing down from the ledge , inevitably crashing into the trunks but what the heck .

Then we would amuse ourselves by collecting coconuts and trying to pry them open by repeatedly throwing them onto the floor and trying to slurp the pathetic few drops that would leak out from the cracks.

Orange coconuts never seem to contain much liquid . And not as tasty as the green ones either !

And of course , the mango trees that were aplenty in Bedok Town park. The mangos were NEVER sweet. Very very very lip-puckering sour.

Saga trees . Once in season , we would all flock there and try to gather as much of the seeds as possible and getting bitten by the red ants that seem to love nesting near Saga trees . LOL.

My god , i must stop now. I have so much to write about my childhood.



Thursday, March 10, 2005

office politics

This is going to be a really short post since my actual reason for waking up at this bloody time ( its 5.20 am ) is to satisfy a sudden attack of the munchies .

By the way , i just wolfed down a Mars bar if you're curious to know how i dealed with it.


My brain isn't functioning at its best at this hour so pardon all the mistakes , grammatical and all.

I'm really really really angry.

One of my supervisors , Fifi , got terminated by the company earlier on today .

And he's obviously the supervisor all the staff love so much , and the one we're most pally with.

Why did he get the sack ?

Because of another fucked up supervisor who went to tell tall tales to the upper management about Fifi.

Obviously , there's only one reason behind this shameless backstabbing .


He craves it so badly.

He isn't a popular guy at the Cafe , and everyone loathes working with him.

In our vibrant workplace where everyone is young , happy and vivacious , he's the only old guy still stuck somewhere in the era of bell-bottoms but yet he tries so hard to be hip , judging from his "funky" plastic-rimmed glasses and chunky accessories that only makes him look like a wannabe.

And he's a total perv.

He terrorises all the girls .

"Wah ... Don't sit like that leh , i will horny one !!"

"Wow *Wolf whistle* So sexy sia someone .. Going to geylang later to work huh ?"

And i've heard that he touched the butts of my collegues before.

I asked him about the going rate of prostitutes now due to my scriptworking assignment last week, and he goes into a full-blown commentary with details like

"This road full of China ones .. this one , malaysian .. that one , Thai.."

Come on.

DOn't give me that shit that you have "wide contacts" , hence the info overload.

I'll be more impressed if you'd just admit that you are a regular at the red-light district. I won't ostracise you.

Jason , our hatred is beyond description.

You know everyone hates you , so stop pretending to be so friendly and stuff because it makes me ill to see you sucking up to the top management.

My heart goes out to you , because at the grand old age of 36 ( i think ) , you're still stuck in this pathetic cafe , lusting after a higher position and girls which you will NEVER GET because you look like shit.

Well , go have fun in the Cafe that you have managed to destroy.


We're all quitting.


Almost ONE YEAR of bonding , gone just like that .


And now , back to bed . Will rant more after school. Or rather , when i reach home. I have so much pent-up anger in me.

p/s : the time we still have before we officially quit , we're gonna make life super hard for him. any suggestions ? do drop by at my cafe and look out for this super short balding bugger in a black uniform. give him the finger if possible.


Tuesday, March 08, 2005

lights ! camera ! action !

Its 3 bloody am and i am so damn tired i could fall asleep with my head on the keyboard but i just can't help repeating this song on my winamp and singing along.

Sex Pistols : Anarchy in the U.K

Just one more time , and i'll go to bed a happy girl .



Have you ever felt like sleeping so badly

only to realise

that you haven't showered after spending the day out ???????

thats right.

i really feel like falling into bed right now but i don't want to wake up with maggots swarming around my body the next morning.


Monday, March 07, 2005

life .

You know you're in deep shit when

1) You increase the font size and line spacings in a desperate attempt to make your assignment look filled.

2) You heave a sigh of relief when you finally reach that minimal 1500 word milestone . Then you remember your super mugger classmates whose assignments resemble the holy quran , the bible , the entire edition of Encyclopaedia Brittanica and a month's worth of stale newspapers . Stacked on top of each other.

Then again you remind yourself . Quality , not quantity . A pity the consolation lasts only a bloody fleeting second .

3) You blog at 3am with a half-completed assignment sticking to your ass . And of course , the deadline's due in a couple of hours.

4) You get mighty pissed at the slightest of disturbances like the drone of the hamster wheel ( why does it sounds so inexplicably loud tonight ? ) or the innocent goodnight message from a friend you haven't heard from in eons.

5) You chastise yourself for procrastinating and then proceed to do something totally irrelevant to your assignment like make egg mayonaise for breakfast later , nibble on expired Chinese New Year cookies or swivel around in your chair . Like its gonna help you complete the fucking work.

6) You pray very hard that your supervisor assigns you to work only after the last project deadline which is on wednesday. Then you receive a message from him that goes "ur wrkin on mon n tues closin shift" .

7) You decide to calm your frazzled nerves down by gulping down an estimated two shots of Martell down . Neat . Suddenly the world seems like a better place and your mind tells you the soothing words "fuck the project fuck the project go to sleep go to sleep fuck the project "

8) You think its funny to scare yourself by selecting all and backspacing the entire day's worth of work and then going to Edit : Undo typing .

9) You want to call someone to rant at . Then you realise that your best friend's sleeping by now , and your best guy buddy busted .

10) You realise that your printer is out of ink .

11) You feel like smoking for the first time ever ( excluding the closet / social smoker in me that emerges when i'm clubbing ) . You find yourself in a familiar scenario : Got lighter , no ciggies .

11) You realise that you spent 20 precious minutes writing this shit.

Na bei.


listening to : signur ros - svefn-g-englar

( this band rocks . The fact that they sing in a totally self-invented "language" enthralls me further . Sigh . I wanna go to Iceland !!!!! )


UPDATE AT 4.30 am


I have written bollocks for my final conclusion which is bound to stir up quite some ire in my lecturer because i have written blatantly honest thoughts for it .

An excerpt from my conclusion

"In my honest and humble opinion , i really feel very strongly that the local news reporting scene lacks liberalism , is so tightly bound by the noose hung by the government that the audience only see know what the government wants us to know . A check done by me with foreign news desks only confirms my suspicions , as many news have gone unreported for example , racist attacks with a high death toll in the United States .

The government has gone thus far to protect the minds of gullible Singaporeans who live in the bubble wrap provided by the latter. To protect diplomatic ties with Uncle Sam , the local news feed us with articles about the good ol' States with feel-good vibes . How many of us actually know that despite having such massive amounts in their coffers , good ol' Uncle Sam only donated such a mere insignificant amount to the Tsunami aid and yet still have the impudence to question other countries with regards to the amount of donation offered ?"

*rolls eyes*

Well , whatever. My lecturer's probably gonna hand me over to the authorities for being anti-government. Heh heh heh.



Sunday, March 06, 2005

**Lots of spoilers ahead !!**

Finally caught "Closer" at Cineleisure today ( My sincerest apologies to S ) .

And my verdict ?


I loved how the plot manages to weave itself so seamlessly between the present and the not-too-long-ago past , and the dialogues are straightforward though it tethers close to being risque at times.

I especially liked the part about the online sex chat session between Jude Law and Clive Owen. Pretty much sums up about the dangers of the net aye ?

But i found that the film emphasises too much on sex to be true , to the point that i find myself raising my eyebrow and telling "this is impossible. it can't actually happen in real life"

Can you imagine questioning your soon-to-be estranged spouse about the intimate details of how she cheated on you ?

Excerpts from a conversation between Julia Roberts and Clive Owen ( typed with what is left of my memory and i made up the rest which i cant remember its really vulgar so all ye purists stay out lol ) :

"He fucked you right there on that couch didn't he , you whore ?"

"Yes he did."

"You liked it didn't you ?"

"Hell yes."

"You're such a fucking bitch . Was he better than me ?"


"Don't give me that crap ! Was he better than me ? WAS HE ? ANSWER ME !"

"I said , different. No better . Just different."

"Did you come ?"

"Look , i don't see why you want to....."


"okay , yes."

"how many times ?"



"he went down on me."

"and ?"

"thats all."

"did you blow him ? you liked blowing him didn't you , you filthy whore"

"i don't know."

"i'm fucking sure you did !"

"So i DID !"

"you're such a pathetic liar."

"so i am"

"did you wank off for him as well ?"

And then Julia Roberts had this major outburst that just about exhausted every word of my limited porn vocabulary , thererafter Clive Owen asked her to "just fuck off" .

I've watched many films with bed scenes before and never it has made me uncomfortable but i actually squirmed in my seat listening to the above conversation for reasons yet unbeknownst.

I believe this will remain an indelible part of my memory for a long time to come . Even though i was sinking deeper and deeper into my seat with embarrassement at the choice of ( descriptive ) words used to breach the topic , i was still held captive by the explosive mince-no-words dialogue.

Never underestimate the power of words i guess.

I don't think i would ever ask my partner such questions should i ever catch him being guilty of infidelity.

Spare me the details , please !

Like i can never bear to sleep on the bed that i know my partner has made out with someone that isn't me . It'll have to go straight to the dumps.

Wah lao , beds very expensive leh.

Hence i say , "Ignorance is bliss"

Neither can i ever imagine a recouncilation with someone who strays while being in a relationship. Like they always say "Once bitten , twice shy"

And now , i really want to catch The Woodsman and Team America : World Police .


listening to : damien rice - the blower's daughter ( and no , this has nothing to do with someone who performs a lewd oral act . LOL . its a track off the Closer soundtrack . )


Just got back from the college Rockfest @ Youthpark .


Well , except that the sound system was marred with lotsa faults and that most of the vocals went terribly off-key due to what sounds like the mic's fault.

But still i enjoyed myself terribly though Yan wasn't exactly receptive to it and kept wanting to leave . =(

Seeing that a few drummers were female , i inexplicably felt all warm and fuzzy inside . Maybe because i was daydreaming about the day i can finally sit behind a set and have people screaming out my name :D But i'll have to start my lessons at Yamaha first lah !!

Pity the audience's response was kinda lukewarm . The turnout wasn't exactly fantastic either but it was still much better than the mere handful of people who attended at previous similar events. We really need much more publicity !!!!


I particularly enjoyed Rafe's , USV's and Documentary in Amber's performances. My primal instincts took over for a while and my eyes started wandering and i openly gawked at one of the guitarists from Documentary in Amber . Heh heh heh . He has a cute goatee !

Yah yah , i have a weakness for guys with goatees okay ???? Don't ask . Most girls find it an eyesore and that it looks untidy but i just find it otherwise. :D

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Rafe ! I like their music .


and i don't just mean those in the limelight like Pug Jelly or Electrico ( though i think they rock as well ) .

check out Rafe's website at !! and their debut album costs only like $12 !!


listening to : Poff - Solivagus ( This is a song from by Sal's band which is currently in hiatus i think. THIS SONG IS SO KICKASS ! Get it from me should you see me online :D )


the writer








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