orgasmic hamsters

orgasmic hamsters

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

--
yadda yadda
--

good morning.

i am faced with a dilemma most tertiary students face on a daily basis -

WHAT THE HELL SHOULD I WEAR TO SCHOOL TODAY ?!

now it'll be so much easier if i was a grab-and-go kinda person , but unfortunately i'm not. and to make things worse , i nitpick alot and am very anal about colour coordination.

and yes i absolutely have to make sure everything is ironed to crease-free perfection.

so now , with just one more hour left before i get my arse out of the house , i still have no idea what to wear. i wished i could go really casual today but because i have to be at the Substation again later i can't shake my booty in shorts.

woo hoo hoo.

by the way i caught a dance performance ( the first time in a looong while ) last night and i thought it was really sensual , fluid movements , skin on skin. delicious. cant really define the genre though. ballet ?

okay i should get a shower now. argh.

remember guys... www.singaporefringe.com ! :p

 

Friday, February 24, 2006

----
psychadelic!
--

I've been a truly naughty girl today.

I woke up with my feet blissfully entagled in my blanket , one hand tucked warmly under my new fluffy ergonomic pillow and the other between my legs.

Ha. Ha. I'm kidding of course.

My room was basked in a veil of dim orange illumination from the night light , and cooled to a perfect temperature of 26 degrees thanks to the air conditioner.

In such an ooh-la-la situation , what else could one do but shut the familiar alarm tone from the faithful handphone and to toss over and head back to slumberland and sleazy dreams ?

That i did.

Aiyah , its the first time since i skipped classes since the start of the semester okay ! Which is an amazing feat.

I solemnly promise myself NOT to do it again.

Anyway.

Been really busy these days. Deluge of project work + school + singapore fringe fest + work + friends + family + alchohol = zzzzzzzzzz .

But i've always been the kind of person who'd rather spend her time meaningfully instead of idling . And yes , that is why i absolutely loathe watching TV ( with exceptions of course )

Tonnes of overdue photos in my cam.

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corridoors of yore , reminiscent of my childhood in Bedok. Ah.. those were the days of block catching ( where the "catcher" always loses because the block is just so incredibly huge )

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xin.

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oranges and altar.

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clothes pegs ( would be a really nice pic if only i had a SLR camera)

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zinc windows !

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pre-pubescent ah bengs and lians in their signature squatting pose. i shudder to imagine that i was like them once

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k the korean druglord

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love the pic , unfortunately marred with xin's face. the little wide-eyed babe is such a wonder.

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scene from the bored desk-bound usher. how come school uniforms nowadays so stylo mylo one huh ? NOT FAIR LOR I HAD TO CONTEND WITH MONOTONE FABRICS.

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your friendly helper at the singapore history musuem , seen here posing with a saffron pencil with a built-in eraser which disintegrates with use. behind her cheerful facade however is a demented soul tortured by sitting 7 hours in front of a gallery no one really bothers about. which is sad. thankfully the event yesterday at the drama centre theatre had a much better turnout.

people ! visit www.singaporefringe.com and come appreciate the arts =)

i know i have big teeth.

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me and the glass of frozen magarita which tasted more like tequila slush dyed red.

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dinner at secret recipe and to my disgust we had to pay for iced water. i've always strongly believed that iced water should be complimentary and besides , what in the world is the "corporate policy" of secret recipe ?? to jack up sales figure by charging for every damned thing ??? i'm not gonna patronise them again , good cheesecakes or not.

and you shouldn't , too !


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d's amazing manmeat keychain. LOL.

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i was seriously intrigued by the likeness of it. squeezing the shaft actually causes urm , stuff to "ooze" out from the tip of it. hahhaaha !! ingenious.

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don't be fooled by my happy disposition.i actually dislike beer alot. makes me bloated and its too bitter for a sweet-tooth like me anyway. peach schnapps or bailey's anytime man.

btw.. i bought chocolate cake home the other day and soaked it with a shot of bailey's and kahlua. DAMN ORGASMIC ! i'm such a genius.

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i'm a celebrity ! don't shoot me !

yes i know i drink too much for my own good =D

alright.. time to head out ! if you're free , do head down to the esplanade tomorrow. lotsa great events and exhibtions going on and i'll be helping out in the evening too !

fiona signing out !

------

listening to : pink martini - clementine

 

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

--
i like to fly solo
--

i can never understand how come people will cut and paste articles from the internet and then pass it off as their contribution to the group assignment.

and their apparent ( and very fake ) indignance when i tell them , ever so nicely , that we can't possibly accept it.

and they still have the cheek to ask why.

so ya ya papaya !!!

and then there are those who don't even contribute a single shit and yell blue murder when we leave them out of the project altogether.

they are the jokers whom you so badly want to give really nasty remarks for during peer evaluation but you can't simply because no one can really be that cruel right ?

argh.

give me individual assignments anytime man !!

time to seek solace in reading the screenplay of brokeback mountain ( which costs a whopping $28 ) before slipping off to slumberland.

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

-----

listening to : the little vein at the back of my neck that always throbs when i'm pissed. like now.

 

--
god is fair
--

recently i just got to know this guy.

as far as i'm concerned , he is by far the most PERFECT guy i've ever met.

now when i say perfect , i don't mean it in my context of course , because i have pretty bizarre sets of rules to define perfection.

i mean perfect by the defination of most girls.

appearance-wise , pleasing to the eye. nondescript maybe and would not garner a second look in a crowd but he's tanned , very fit and *gasp* posseses an indestructable washboard tummy.

he is so decent that i sometimes feel embarrassed to cuss in front of him.

however decent he might be , he also has a very cheeky sense of humour. wow ! talk about a perfect balance of yin and yang.

he's a christian and he loves God. and he goes for bible studies ! he evagelises sometimes though.

he is so gentlemanly that i sometimes have to stop him from doing the things he always do so that he can retain some semblance of his manliness. he actually really goes all out for his chair-pulling and door-holding gestures. like if he sees you walking towards the door 10 metres away he'll still hold the door and wait patiently for you.

he is mr nice-guy-without-motives. just today the whole bunch of us were sprawled against other after a heavy meal, the empty plates scattered haphazardly on the table. and yes , you guessed it. he actually had the decency to stack up the plates and to bring it over to the cleaner's workstation !! GOODNESS ! he deserves a halo .

and because i'm the only girl in our group , i sometimes get left behind by the "fuck lah real madrid's never gonna win arsenal" boys. and yes , he is the only one who always stops to keep me company. even if it means that he'll be left out of the lively discussion.

of course there is a catch to it all. god is fair remember ? what he gives in length , he takes in breadth.

i wouldnt be so mean as to say that he's a bad dresser , but sometimes his style is quite.. obsolete. his choice of clothes are usually very safe , denim and monotone tees but he actually tucks them in.which is okay to me seriously but hmm , i think it'll look better if he was 35 ! no , even my dad doesn't tuck his tees in. seriously , if i could only take charge of his dressing he'll definitely the flavour of the month among many girls for a looooooong time !

and no ladies , stop scrambling to get his number. this prize is happily attached to his lucky girlfriend of 6 years.

 

Sunday, February 19, 2006

--
swoon
--

it is 6pm and i've just got home from a day spent with the folks. i spent the whole damn time mulling over brokeback mountain and the open-ended scenes which i felt Lee Ang had deliberately left. man he really shouldn't have because psychopaths like me would spend too much time tryin to inteprete it. and it has really been such a long time since i've been that much affected by a film. the other two which lingered on my mind were love actually and schindler's list.

i'm so going to catch it again and get my hands on the DVD too.

i heart jake gyllenhaal. sorry , it has been such a long time too since i've been that infactuated with a celeb ( in chronological order : jay chou , koo sui jien , nicky li , jude law.. JAKE ! )

after seeing jake almost stark naked in jarhead and brokeback , i have suddenly developed a new fetish overnight..

muscular backs !!!!!

so...sexy.

so nice to hold on to when he's on top. heh.


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this picture happens to be my wallpaper

he isn't your typical pretty boy ala orlando bloom , thats for sure. his imperfections only make him all the more dear in plastic hollywood. love his stubble. phwoooarrr.

and now i have another reason to go back to LA . his hometown's there !!!!! ahhhhhhhhhh. ( okay and so do 173872022 other celebs )

damn now i feel like some pre-pubescent fangirl. but we're all entitled to such lavish thoughts eh ? :p

i want to watch munich , capote and the da vinci code next.

but before that i'm going to rent jake's earlier films like the indie hit film donnie darko and bubble boy. =D

bye guys !

oh wait wait wait. you just HAVE to check this one out..

just.look.at.him

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JUST LOOK AT HIM !!

 

--
brokeback mountain ** MINOR SPOILERS IN GREY !!**
--


caught the highly anticipated movie with k just now and gosh. i must say it really lives up to its hype and mind you i'm never one easily swayed by the opinions of others especially when it comes to films.

i am so happy that the year has kicked off really well , so far all the films i've watched didn't disappoint. well except for that dick and jane show lah.

the simmering passion between the two men were so intense that i ached for them both though throughout the movie k was muttering curses under his breath. he's a damned homophobic. i didn't allow k's indifference to affect me. was suprised that i actually found the intimacy between the two strapping young men alluring.

i was so affected by the movie that i was still thinking about it on the way home. and i will probably will for days or even weeks to come. alot of afterthoughts really.

jake gyllenhaal is really.. delice. what i didn't understand about the movie was

1) how the protaganists didn't seem to age even after 20 years.

2) heath ledger's funky voice

heath ledger's perfomance was so good. it was as if he had altered his personality altogether for the role.

the backdrop of the movie was something else. shot in canada instead of wyoming it brought back memories of feelings of being in an open space one could NEVER get in singapore.

driving through nevada's highways. having the winds mess up your hair with the windows wound down while you gaze out into the rolling and ever changing landscapes .. miles of brown and towers of rock and green... priceless.

i think this tells me something about not being able to stay in this country for the rest of life even though i pledge allegiance to my motherland. nope , its way too constricted for a wanderlustful soul like me. i crave for openness , in more way than one.

when jake gyllenhaal's character died , somehow or another i identified with how ennis ( heath ledger ) felt as the next scene opens with him sitting on the steps facing out into the open.

grappling with the passing of someone you really love is never an easy thing.

loss can never be dismissed with just a simple flip of hair . you may be able to chuck it away into the back of your mind but it manifests your every idle moment and you start thinking about how it would be if only the person was right next to you again , how you would hold him and then reality slaps you in the face. its a tedious process alleviated only by time.

i want to read the screenplay so bad. if you have lobang for screenplays tell me hor ! the esplanade library on stocks up on really old ones. bah.

i beg your pardon if this post sounds disconnected because i am so damn tired. tomorrow i will have to get up early to visit the temple. and then the compulsory sunday lunch with the folks. i will clean my room tomorrow , do some really overdue reading and then mull over my projects.

and then the LOOONG week shall begin , thanks to the Singapore Fringe Festival thats gonna kick off on tues.


g'nite. its time to dream of jake gyllenhaal in his skin-tight denim and how i would spent ten minutes to tug it off his manly legs.

 

Friday, February 17, 2006

-----
bimbo alert !
--

today i served two bimbos while at work.

actually bimbo would be the wrong term to use since they look like failed transvesites though they were born female due to their acute lack of dress sense ( bell-bottoms and tacky frilly tops ) and horrendous make up ( straight black lines for eyebrows , bright blue eyeshadow and the works ) and they were trying too hard to mimic an accent from nobody's land.

one of them asked

"what's dee time do yoo guys open evereeee day?"

"we open at 8.30am every day miss "

"then tomorrow leh ?"

woohoo ! such intellectual banter. my brains are workin overtime trying to process the conversation alone. woohoo. someone please call MENSA!

they squinted at the menu for a long time with their pseudo blue eyes.

then came the forehead-slapping question of the day ( and probably century. and millenium )

"what kind of eggs do you use for your cheesy scrambled eggs ah ?"

*quizzical pouty expression from them*

WHAT KIND OF EGGS ?!??!?!

PLATYPUS EGGS LAH !

 

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

---
a perfect valentine's
--

he showed up on the doorstep with the most perfect bouquet of purple roses i've ever seen when i least expected it


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we had a lovely dinner at les amis accompanied by a bottle of vintage pinot noir and it ended on a high note - ice wine.

slightly heady from all that elixir , we drove off to mount faber despite my reluctance due to the unwanted connotations with that place ( as a make-out spot etc ) and that it'll definitely be crowded since today's THAT day.

he put his hand on my lap and assured me that i'll love that spot. the first bodily contact of the day and already it made me tingle with unabashed bliss.

the car stopped at a remote place and the moment i stepped out i knew he was right.

the city bustling beneath and stars quivering above us.

suddenly his arms enveloped me from behind and he held a small box in his hand.

"would you..... be my girlfriend?"

the box revealed a pair of solitaire diamond earrings glistening under the dim illumination of the lamps.

i know it sounds really corny but i swore my heart skipped at least two beats.

i turned around and tip-toed slightly to reach eye-level with him. i pulled him closer and i could smell issey miyake. crisp yet masculine.

he leaned forward and our lips were so cruelly near...

and then i woke up.

 

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

-----
you are a suck
----

i am so gleefully glad that i have finally managed to adjust back my topsy-turvy body clock because it is barely 1am now but yet i am feeling dead tired. WOO HOO.

so its valentine's today yea. i shall keep the mean words to myself since this a public blog. lol.

had a run-in with the so-called best friend today and i know i really shouldnt but i dug all the skeletons out of the closet during the short but fiery confrontation which ended with the words

"and after all that has happened in recent weeks , the only thing you gain would be the loss of trust from the greatest bunch of friends you will ever have"

so many things has happened between us , she was , simply put , too much of a taker than a giver.

one of the most unforgivable acts would the one which happened at my grandpa's funeral a month ago.

nothing happened , except that she simply didn't turn up for the entire 5 day wake and didn't call me at all until 2 weeks later and all she could say for her absence was

"aiya , go also no use what.. at most i can say nice things to you which is what the others will be doing right??"

all this coming not from a casual acquiantance but someone whom i refer to as a best friend. i know i'm too old for such best friend issues but i hold such friendships really close to my heart.

and i actually forced myself to forgive her.

nope , not anymore. i retract my forgiveness because she took it for granted.

sigh.

good night.

 

Monday, February 13, 2006

-------
not good
--

what i have learnt from airing my boobs in public :

NEVER ever tear the duct tape away from your boobs ( it really has the wonderbra effect , i swear . well , to an extent anyway)

because that was exactly what i did . returning home at 7am half-drunk and dead-tired , i undressed in a haste and didnt realise that the tape was adhered to the underside of my boobs so strongly and i ended up removing half of the skin on each boob.

oooh , relish.

but because i was that half-wasted , i didn't realise it until i woke 10 hours later with a stinging pain on my chest. i looked into the mirror and saw two red rectangulars , bleeding slightly at places.

lol.

wearing a bra never hurt that badly , the underwires cut into the soreness. i've never liked the constraints of wearing one anyway.

besides , some say wearing a bra has no effect on small boobs like mine since gravity doesnt do much to them.

BURN THE BRA !!

from now on , whenever i can , i'm gonna walk around smuggling raisins under my clothes. i'm not gonna give a flying fuck anymore.

i miss the days i could get up there with just two glasses of vodka something , because nowadays it takes much more than that for that buzz i always crave.

and its bloody expensive.

and it stays in the system for far too long , because i spent my sunday feeling pregnant and pseudo-puking ( e.g the only thing you hurl : air )

to the friends who have seen me doing my thang around the pole at devil's bar :

PLEASE FORGET THAT I EVER DID THAT.

omfgggg.

i ended up with my head resting on E's lap and my hand in his. somehow my every movement was like the cue for him to stroke my hair.

gosh did i mention how smouldering he looked , all 6 feet of him , in that shirt and hair carelessly tousled and smelling dangerous , a potent mix of tobacco and something sensual.

we parted ways at my doorstep where i buttoned up one that came undone on his shirt mysteriously.

and then his thumb got entangled in on the strap of my top which slipped off my shoulder. phantom.

his overnight stubble nuzzled my neck ( i love love love stubble ) , then a step backwards was all it took , back against wall ( or door ) . resistance was futile.

best part of all ? he was a friend. and a good friend at that.

hoo boy.

i guess we won't be sharing fags the way we used to anymore for a long long time.

time for classes. bye.

i still feel sick.

---

listening to : norihiho tsuru - last carnival

--

UPDATE :

Still dateless on Valentine's. Am going to kickass with the girls !

However applications are still open for a blind date. LOL.

If you're above 25 and have a decent grasp of the language , DON'T WAIT LAH.

I'm like so so so white-hot you know ?????????? *licks finger and presses it onto arm.. SIZZLE*

hahahha shit i'm so corny.

 

Saturday, February 11, 2006

--
hell.
--

i hate hate hate hate hate it when a guy asks to introduce my girlfriends to him.

i don't care if you're an old buddy or some new friend that i've just got to know.

it makes you look really desperate and it makes me feel ... well , shitty.

especially from people that you've just gotten to know. its like an insult somewhat.

and no its not acceptable to just pretend to laugh it off and to lessen the atrocity of your behaviour because we both know very well that you meant what you had just said.

e.g

"so.. any cute girlfriends to introduce?"

".................................."

"ha ha , just joking !"

oh wow , sorry , i must be really dense up here because i must have missed the humour that made you go "ha ha"

i hate valentine's. yes i really feel the need to whine.

i am sorry to annouce that no one has sincerely asked me out.

i feel so blah that i don't even feel like writing though my mind is spinning an essay spanning a page long.

oh and i was talkin to louis just now and this is an excerpt from our convo

"we're losers because we're home early on a friday night , are dateless on valentine's and will probably spend it in front of a computer screen , with MSN status set to appear offline its loserish to be seen at home on THAT day"

welcome to the suck.

------

listenin to : mazzy star - fade into you

---

p/s : jarhead is one hella good movie.

 

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

I WON A PAIR OF TIX TO CATCH FRANZ FERDINAND !!!!! WOO !!

now for the bad part.

i might have to forego it since it clashes with the Singapore Fringe Festival that i'm going to be volunteering at when it starts !!

ARGHHHH!!!!!!!!!

if only you were here , otb ! we could have a blast together ! none of my friends seem to dig FF sia.

if you know me and you wanna join me , you know what to do !!

okay school was tiring , nothing like power nap for a night out later =D

--

listening to : deathcab for cutie - marching bands of manhattan
---

Quote of the day from Marcel , my cousin the atheist :

"give a man a fish , and you'll feed him for a day. give him a religion , and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish"

 

--
prompt
--

been busy of late , but will update soon in the next few days =)

for all you history buffs out there , i have a question.

was Yamashita innocent , sentenced to death only because the Americans wanted a scapegoat for all the horrific war crimes and to make of use of him as a deterrent ?

or was he really the fiend who ordered the merciless and brutal killings of countless lifes , notably the thousands who perished during the Manila Massacre ?

--

listenin to : air-cherry blossom girl

 

Sunday, February 05, 2006

--
omfg you mean those were in my face?!
--

for the first time in my life i went for a facial just now.

it was a spur-of-the-moment decision , really , because i've never felt the need to have one because i'm blessed with good genes.

but today i looked into the mirror and i felt depressed , because i have cultivated a trinity of pimples on my right cheek , probably from the late nights and binge drinking sessions recently.

and the only blackhead i have refuses to get dislodged no matter how much i abuse it with the sadistic looking blackhead remover tool ( the mini metal stick with the look at the end ).

best part was my complexion was unappeasingly dull and i looked like i haven't slept for ages , having spent the night at Nic's place where i chalked up monstrous debts *looks at nicholas with puppy eyes*

the other reason why i never had a facial before was due to the horrid aftermaths i've heard from friends and kin alike , that you will suffer a breakout after it because it supposedly purges out the toxins in your skin. wtf ??

the facial turned out to be extremely relaxing and i actually fell sound asleep during the 1 hour i was there , except for the part where the beautician woke me up and sorta told me to brace myself for she was going to extract my blackhead.

OMFG.

i tell you man , to say it was fucking painful would be an understatement lah.

but oh !!!! when she let me examine the little bugger on a piece of tissue , i was held in awe and shock.

my blackhead was almost half an inch long !!!!!!!! ( half an inch long , for all ye homo ignoramuses , is about this long --- . which is bloody alot for something embedded in your face )

no wonder an amateur like me couldnt coax it out !

then there was this process where she used this little glass suction tube to vacuum out all the shit in my face and thats when i got my second shock of the day.

the tube had little dots of yellowish looking impurities. how could it be possible.

i left the place feeling smug and i suddenly thought about sitting through the arduous 3 second of pure concentrated pain when she squeezed out my blackhead.

how does one survive a facial if he/she has many blackheads !?

anyway i'm so damn tired lah , went to the temple with my folks early in the morning for the weekly 7th day prayers for my grandpa.

i actually cried for someone i didn't know just now in the temple , but more of that in the next post.

i shall keep you guys entertained by filling in a no-brainer meme.

4 jobs you've had in your life:
- Sales assistant at a shoe shop where they treated us like cheap labour
- Barista at Cafe Ritazza at Changi Airport
- Server/Barista @ TCC
- Freelance writer

4 movies you could watch over and over
- Love Actually
- Perth
- Closer
- Saving private ryan

4 TV shows you love(d) to watch
- The Oblongs ! It is unfortunate it got canned after the first season. Wtf ?!
- Channel 8 drama serials ( yaya laugh all you want ) Bukit Ho Swee / Price of Peace / Tofu Street and one starring Fann Wong and Thomas Ong .. I think the title is "Zai Jian Ying Guan Lan"
- Any documentary EXCEPT those about reptiles and mechanical stuff like airplanes . Done to death. Steve Irwin please fuck off !
- The naked chef

4 places you've lived
- Bedok Reservoir ( would love to buy a place in Bedok again )
- Buangkok ( fantastic view of the Serangoon Harbour and .. The woodbridge hospital. )
- Tampines ( fucked up place )
- Tanah Merah ( fucked up snooty neighbours except for The Cute RJC one )

4 places you've been on vacation to
- LA
- San Francisco
- Fujian district , China
- Perth

4 places you would rather be
- any sidewalk cafe by the river Seine in Viva La France !
- shopping for alcohol at DFS
- anywhere with grandpa
- actually i'm really comfortable at home now because its raining heavily and my bed is just 2 steps away. WOO HOO.

4 of your favourite foods
- Herbal chicken
- creamy pasta with a heap of parmesan cheese on top ( the best pasta i ever had was in LA.. OMFG the cheesecake factory .... )
- this porridge i always cook at home with ikan bilis stock , carrots , potatos , spinach and fish .. best eaten with Marmite !! ( fuck all Bovril lovers ! Marmite is the best , lor )
- Abalone

4 of your favourite beverages
- fresh apple juice
- iced teh tahrik
- TCC's raspberry iced tea
- coffee bean's pure chocolate with an extra dollop of whipped cream

4 (or more) websites you visit daily
- tomorrow.sg
- yahoo auctions
- channelnewsasia ( voracious news reader )
- blogs

awwwwwwwwrite i can't wait to snuggle up under my blanket right now. the only thing missing now is a pair of nice manly arms around my waist. lol.

damn , it reminds me of valentine's.

arghhh class starts tomorrow.

bye for now ! xoxoxoxoxo

 

Saturday, February 04, 2006

---
bohemian rhapsody
--

okay so i'm actually not supposed to be at home now but because my phone went flat while i was sleeping , i missed the alarm and was blissfully unaware of the deluge of missed calls from an irate HH whose place i was supposed to visit just now to bai nian. And a missed tutorial at 12pm.
one more hour to go before i meet Jun to catch Fearless ! damn , i can't wait to catch that show though i'm usually not a fan of action flicks. yes i admit my sudden change its partly due to Jay Chou's influence ( because he is a big fan of Jet Li and he wrote a song for this movie as well ).

sidetrack : i bought Jay Chou's LATEST offering already , the DVD compilation of his November's Chopin MVs !! he is so.. dreamy.

sidetrack 2 : SOO KUI JIEN IS ATTACHED !! i am shattered. but his girl is damn chio lah. sad. you know , that one lor. that channel V VJ , sarah tan. why can't it be fiona tan ?? *sulks*

Anyway.. A few random pictures ! I haven't uploaded the photos in my cam for such a long time that the number of pictures in it had swelled up to almost 200. woo.

firstly...

the annual CNY reunion gathering at Mel's place ! sure , as the years go by the attendance drops.let the weeding process begin !

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i think Ian looks damn gay with his limp pose and singlet. LOL. sorry brudda !

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the girls. note the very convenient "hole" in Xin's top :p

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Maurice and me !

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i'm proud to annouce for the 1152783th time that i actually scored a TRIPLE 7 ( the payout is 7 times the wager ) during a game of Blackjack !! It was my first time in all my 20 years of existence by the way so i'm awfully proud of myself. The best thing was , my bet was only 40 cents. Nabei.

I look like shit in the picture lah , hence the cheesy mask. :p

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A simple toned-down reunion dinner at Grandma's because of gramp's passing away. It was still good nevertheless. The sharks fin i had tasted like saltified gluten soup.

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Yongpei and her *ahem* boyfriend. They have been going strong for like what , 4-5 years already ?? BREAK UP SOON LAH !

By the way.. notice her supersized er , posterior .. :p

SORRY PEI BUT I JUST HAD TO !!!

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A pic from my Ubin trip a few weeks ago that i forgot to post

So damn cute right ? ( if i'm not wrong it should be inspired by some mat-rock comic series.. the protagonist is a guy name Lat i think )

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Mao and me @ Acid Bar . Apparently he had a bad hair day.

I forgot who was singing , but her swansong was Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody ! I am thoroughly impressed.

Mama ~ Woo oo oo

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Bobby ( he whose eyes resemble Jay Chou's !!!!! )

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No lah , i didn't have beer. Not a beer person , so i had Peach Schnapps again. Cow ordered Southern Comfort for me to try and the damn waitress whom i personally dislike claimed that she keyed in the wrong order so she "begged" us to take the two glasses of S.C when we only ordered one. aiyah , want commission say lah. i find it perfectly okay for wait staff to be friendly but to push and shove your customers like old friends .. No.

There's a fine line between friendliness and impoliteness.

And eh , southern comfort not that nice also leh , Cow..

Potato wedges + Cheese sauce + Peach Schnapps = Orgasm

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Lastly..

My aunt ( no not the sexist one ) and I during a game of Blackjack

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I'm thinking of getting braces soon.. I'm actually okay with how i look ( cus beggars cant be choosers ) but i'm thinking for the long-term. It might be cute now , the two rodent-like incisors i have , but what happens when i'm old with saggy cheeks and all ? FREAK !

Also , i have made some changes to my career plans.. After doing freelance writing for about half a year now , i realised that it might not be what i want to do for the rest of my life. Public Relations isn't such a bad option , and its related to my course of studies as well.

Speaking of which , i'm going to work for my dad the week after for a few days as his temp secretary. LOL. hopefully i'll get to meet some cute banker or stockbroker ! :p

okay i'm going off. HUAT AH for the gambling session at Nicholas' place later =D

-----

listenin to : the eagles - livin' it up at the hotel california ! such a lovely place.. such a lovely face..

 

Friday, February 03, 2006

--
well do ya do ya do ya want to ?
--

Presenting for the first time on Orgasmic Hamsters...

HAMMIE TAN THE EIGHTH !!

She's damn frisky lah , hence the blurred quality.

But oh.. Just look at her ! =D

I believe she was trying to reach for her toes.

I love her to bits .. that little obese ball of satin-soft fur.

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While having dinner on the second day of Chinese New Year .. I looked into my ricebowl and i suddenly felt revolted by the baby abalones or "limpet" staring at me.

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Can you tell me why ? :p

 

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

--
on why i feel men are assholes
--

Xin stayed over with me at my aunt's on monday night , and she borrowed my cousin's tee for sleeping in.

this morning i walked groggily to the kitchen only to find myself stepping on that very tee - my aunt had converted it to nothing more than a mere piece of rag.

"how come that tee is on the floor ?"

"your cousin can't wear it anymore lah.."

"huh , why ?"

"because its not good for a guy to wear something that has been worn by a girl"

i was indignant

"what the ? what's the logic behind it ?"

"nothing , its just not good , thats all"

my morning drowsiness had already worn off by then. i felt sick to the stomach , having witnessed such an act of narrow-minded sexism right here at home.

"wow , so that means the pillow case i sleep on and the blanket i cover myself with , do you have to dispose all of them as well ?"

"no , because you didn't wear it and there wasn't any contact with your body since u were already clothed"

"what if i sleep naked ?"

"don't come and argue with me lah"

"so how about the towels i use?"

"yah i have to convert them into rags too"

WTF !?

i can't possibly describe how incensed i felt at that point of time.

its like , our bodies carry some sort of plague that will cause acute degeneration of male skin.

what a stupid close-minded bunch of retards.

i couldnt be bothered to take my stand anymore and went back to bed.

just last night , i was walking towards my bedroom wrapped in a towel and my aunt happened to see me and she gave me a dressing down right there and then for being so inappropiately dressed.

"but i'm just walking towards the bedroom what ?"

"yah but look at yourself ! do you know how disgusting you look , dressed so scantily like that ?"

"but we're all family ! i grew up with you guys !"

"so ?"

right , so now it is an offence for walking around clad only in a towel at home.

so just now , after making sure everyone has left for work and school already , i took out a piece of paper and wrote

"ALL THE TOWELS IN THIS DRAWER HAS BEEN STAINED BY FIONA TAN AFTER SHE HAS UNFORTUNATELY MADE DIRECT BODILY CONTACT WITH THE TOWELS BY WRAPPING THEM ALL AROUND HER ARMS AND LEGS. HELLO , RAGS !

xoxo,

FIONA"

and pasted it in front of the towel drawer.

i am unable to comprehend just why the female body is considered dirty in many cultures. after all , we're the very bodies men fuck.

so , if we're really that filthy, why don't the men castrate themselves after sex ??

fuck all this shit , i need to drink tonight.

i am an angry person today.

--

listening to : iron maiden - fear of the dark

 

the writer

fiona

20

singaporean

writer

Links

 

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